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help classes
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12-01-2004 2:43pm#1I'd read the womens ones before not sure re: the blokes funny anyway
NEW TRAINING COURSES FOR MEN!!! ALL ARE WELCOME! OPEN TO MEN ONLY!
Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty of their contents,
each course will accept a maximum of eight participants each.
Topic 1. How to fill ice-cube trays.
Step by step with slide presentation.
Topic 2. Lavatory paper rolls: do they grow on the holders?
Round-table discussion.
Topic 3: Differences between the laundry basket and the floor.
Pictures and explanatory graphics.
Topic 4. The after-dinner dishes and silverware: can they levitate and
fly
into the kitchen sink?
Examples on video.
Topic 5. Loss of identity: losing the remote to your significant other.
Helpline and support groups.
Topic 6. Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the
right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming.
Open forum.
Topic 7. Health watch: bringing her flowers is not harmful to your
health.
Graphics and audio tape.
Topic 8. Real men ask for directions when lost.
Real-life testimonials.
Topic 9. Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel
parks?
Driving simulation.
Topic 10. Learning to live: basic differences between mother and wife.
Online class and role-playing.
Topic 11. How to be the ideal shopping companion.
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.
Topic 12. How to fight cerebral atrophy: remembering birthdays,
anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you're going
to be late.
Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.
CLASSES FOR WOMEN..
Women think they already know everything, but wait...training courses are
now available for women on the following subjects:
1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The match
5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet too
6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His
7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First
8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking
9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
12. Introduction to Parking (hahahahahahaha)
13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat
15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption
17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People
18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
19. PMS: Your Problem . . Not His
20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To
21. Classic Footwear: Wearing Shoes You Already Have
22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women notice
23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together
24. Oil and Petrol : Your Car Needs Both
25. TV Remotes: For Men Only0
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