Tall tales from the round table....

Walls

Once upon a time, in a land far away, there lived a famous King. His name was King Albert (Bertie for short) and he created the Round Table. All the chivalrous knights across the land came to serve at the round table, and to do good through out the land.

There was Knight Mary, who gave of the goods of Eircom, so that the people might be happy. And who arranged for the Luas way back in the sands of time, so that the people might be happy. But Mary was not sure what happy was, and it showed.

There was Knight Charlie, who started with a strong socialist emphasis. Taxes were to be lowered and the health service would receive much needed funds. External borrowing was to go and all would be well in the land. But something went wrong on the way to the bank and all the money that Charlie had collected disappeared. No one knew where it went to, they just knew that Charlie didn’t have any money to give out any more. And so all the plans of Knight Charlie couldn't happen.

There was Knight Seamus, who knew just how to run the transport service. He knew how to run the airports and the buses and the trains. But no one else would agree with Knight Seamus, and all the bus drivers and airport people and train drivers thought he was plain nuts. Seamus thought the Luas was just great and that the Darts didn’t have to work at weekends (after all, he didn’t). He thought that the less public services running Dublin Bus the better so he wanted to make specific routes run by private services. (no competition, see, just no public service)

And there was Knight Martin. Martin held a special place in his heart for us all, so much so he wrung his hands and worried. Martin wanted to make sure none of us hurt ourselves in any way. So Martin said ‘Let it go out across the land, that no one shall have the cherub in the pub any more.’ Everyone thought Martin was from Mars and a few thought he should go back, but Martin was a knight so King Bertie said ‘Martin has spoken! It shall be done!’ And even Kerry publicans knew better.

Now King Bertie sits and frets. His lady has left him for a millionaire builder from abroad, and Knight Lancelot-a-lip is looking like a likely prospect for the people of the future. And the biggest worry of all, for Bertie is King not only of the round table, but of all the European Round tables as well, and none of these care about OUR round table. “Ah me, what is to become of me? Where is my special lady of the anorak when I need her?”

Only time will tell.



Feel free to add to the tales of the round table.....