lawyer jokes

davelerave

What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A tick falls off of you when you die.

quank

mehmeh, i never really had any appeal to lawyer jokes.....

Mr Grumpy

A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars then insured them against fire among other things.

Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

The lawyer sued....and won!

In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000.00 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."

NOW FOR THE BEST PART...

After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000.00 fine.

This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.

quank

hmmm, i dunno..... but mebbe, its america

kmart6

More than likely some stupid american:D

Capt'n Midnight

Actually it's not true - should add a certain site to the stickies !


Anyway the ship went down and there were three people on a liferaft which struck a rock about 200m offshore. But this was in shark infested waters. So the law talking guy volunteers to swim to shore. And he gets in to the water and camly back paddles towards land. Shark fins everywhere - the other lads are only screaming at yer man "watch your back" etc. but he take it easily as the sharks circle around him and after what seamed like an age makes it to shore. Later on when they are all reunited the lads are singing his praises "bravest thing we ever say - you could have been killed - wern't you worried" and the lawyer says of course he wasn't worried cos he knew he'd be safe. Lads a bit taken aback by this, until the lawyer explains "professional courtesy"