Today's Observation:

ven0m

BEAT wrote:

Have you ever heard something so beautiful it went through you and all your emotions went up in a whirlwind?
Music moves me this way, there are certain pieces that make me feel this way...

Music for me is like the score to life. I can listen to songs I've heard over the years & remember emotions or things that happened to me, that I wouldn't otherwise remember.... music IS my life.


::: ven0mous :::

_blank_

ven0m wrote:

Music for me is like the score to life. I can listen to songs I've heard over the years & remember emotions or things that happened to me, that I wouldn't otherwise remember.... music IS my life.


::: ven0mous :::

You know ven0m, that is so true. I am the very same. I need music in my life, it keeps me sane.

BEAT

It has been a trying weekend...so much has happened, I feel like I inderwent some sort of test from beyond.

It all started on thursday dec 23rd...I woke up to snow up to my knees and the news reports said for everyone to stay home but I got up and got ready and battled the storm to get to work. I finally made it after falling and getting my clothes wet, triping and ripping my jacket and when I got there the only person at work was my boss who told me I was the only one who tried to come in and that I could go home.
TBH I only came in to get my xmas bonus, but he said I'd have to wait till monday when the book keeper was in. He gave me a few dollars to hold me over and I headed back out. By the time I got home the roads were worse and I got stuck in the middle of the street right infront of my house...It took me an hour to shovel my way out and move the car to the side of the road...I was unable to get it in the driveway.
I pulled a muscle in my shoudler trying to shovel the wet and heavy snow, and slipped again twisting my ankle and then started my period on top of it all.
After I went inside and relaxed and calmed down I felt better, we paid a neighbor to shovel us out of the street and into our driveway (my housemate and I) and then later that night I went out again and made xmas cookies with my cousins and little sister. So the night got better and I passed the test that day.

Friday went by easily enough and I spent the night with my family. Saturday morning my mom and I out of town to be with my grandparent for xmas.
The roads were better and traffic was thin so we made good time, a 4 hour trip into 3!
Saturday went by nicely and it was a good day overall.

Sunday I was given another test...of a different nature.
Sunday morning my grandmother told me that Tina, a friend of the families had died...she was 35 and has 3 small children. She was diagnosed about 6 months ago with a brain tumor and a short time to live.
She hung on until after xmas and finally passed away. It took a toll on my grandmother , she watched this girl grow up and her grandmother is my gran's best friend so she was feeling her pain.

The stress of it all must have affected my grandmother more than she let on because my gran had a mini-stroke yesterday afternoon right infront of me. I was trying to get my head around what was happening in the first 5 minutes then I measured her heart rate, got her wayter, checked her sugar (diabetic) had her relax...I was in control as much as I could be and I know I could do what had to be done in such situations.
I was never one to become hysterical in the first place, probably because I have seen so much trauma in my life.
My gran is going through tests today and I can only hope everything is okay, its a dangerous test today, one that could take her life but there isnt anything I can do but hope and pray she will be okay.
I have to leave it in the hand of God...which isnt easy to do.

My gran raised me and she is my whole life, she is why I am the person I am today so its taking its toll on me...this is a test and I know I have the strength to be there for my family but it reminds me that the only person there for me is her and what happens when she is gone?
I am putting those thoughts out of my head because it will only drive me insane.

This isnt the only test today,
My best friend is at the doctors, she is only 26 with 2 little girls and she found a lump in her chest. She is having the ultrasound today to find out what it is. My best friend, and my gran both having tests today is a test in itself for my sanity.
I remain calm and collected and am at work with only hope in my heart that everyone comes out of this healthy.

None of this is about me, not one single bit of it. It is about how I let it affect me and I how help others with it. It isnt about how it ruined my day but how I took the bad and made it good so others could feel the comfort they need. It isnt about me, its about life.

Put on a brave face for them and listen to thier words, they are putting on a brave face for you..but if you listen you will hear thier pain and worry. Be there for them and ease thier pain with hope and laughter. Show them the love in your smile and show them not tears from your heart.

MojoMaker

Fingers and toes crossed Sheila. We are a lucky nation so that is automatically worth double.

BEAT

Thanks for that , I appreciate it.

BEAT

It's monday evening,
it is cold and the ground is icy
the Moon is shining full and bright
it is so beautiful , it is so healing.

The lights on the bridge were out tonight
rush hour traffic seemed to flow,
everything is uncertain still
I just want to go so far away

The day went by and sad was my face
my eyes were dark and my heart heavy
going home was on my mind...
my mind was everywhere today, except with me

My heart made so many wishes today
so many people I want to save
my outlook is still good but not as bright
I know life must happen and in life there is death

A smile will soon be back on my face and my eyes will twinkle
my heart will be happy and life will make me giggle
everything happens for a reason and today is no different
taking it in stride and keep on moving, it's what I tell myself

The lights were out on the bridge today
the people on it were unaware
thier lives were changing then
and I held them all in my hand

I saved the world today
with the love in my heart
I loved life today
and treasured every part

It's a monday night
the stars are shining bright
the moon is full and yellow
Hope remains and Life is beautiful.

BEAT

It's Thursday, the moon has begun to fade away
the temperature is changing outside, the snow is melting
I feel suspicious of my surroundings,
a great disaster took some 117,000 lives

The earth spinned off its axis
but its no threat to us they say
It is winter and the snow is melting, the temperature is changing
but I have nothing to worry about they say

It may not be connected, so far away you say
I say it is all connected...earth is one
what happens to the earth, happens to us all
I cant ignore what is happening and wondering what comes next

Things in my life are at a standstill,
questions that have answers...
waiting for another day to be answered
the quiet before the storm I fear

Make it worthwhile now while you can
it can all come crashing down at any time
it could all come to an end
Live today.

BEAT

Another Holiday season done and over with and now the winter ahead to endure and spring to look forward to.
Overall the Holiday was nice and time spent with family was nice, I personally tried to make the most of it as I dont think I will be spending the holidays with them after this year for my plans (if they work out) will take me to places far away.
I dont fear this as being a problem for I can always visit other times and they will always be a phone call away.

I sense of relief is in the air now that the rush is over, shopping is done and now is a time of peace. There is always a bit of saddness too though,
for me its because the 'together time' is over and now we go back to trying to get together every sunday and not seeing everyone together.
I made a point to have everyone play games together, we laughed and danced and drank together. If it was a last hurrah it was a good one.

It is now a time for planning and organinsing for the plans I make. I have decided to go through with the move whether or not I have secured a job and to hope for the best once again. I can only hope that this time will be different and that something will keep me there.

How often do you have a dream and push it aside because of fear? how often do you think about that dream and feel consumed by it?
what do you really have to lose? How often will you get the chances to do something that will change your life forever?
Is it worth passing up because of uncertainty?

I have said it before, You only live once...and Life is much too short. This time will only come around once, a chance to do something that others only dream about should'nt be passed up. Dont be afraid to go after what you want,
Life is here for living, so what are you waiting for?

BEAT

Something tells me there are going to be a lot of changes this year, some good and some bad.
New things to behold all around, new experiences and new losses.
I fear the worst but I feel overall it is going to be a good year.

Things have been set in motion now that will have an outcome we can only hope is good.

To hope for the best is the only control we have over some situations,
learning that most things are out of our control and to go with the flow is a lesson learned for life.

There are many happy things on the horizon as well...a hope for a future that has been longed for. A hope to find Love again and to find the path that leads towards a life 'together' with someone special.

A Year ahead with many hopes and a bright outlook,
I feel it's going to be a good year, and I will do what I can to make it so

BEAT

I was okay with my job for awhile, thought it was a place I could stay for awhile and tolerate the minor bull****e that happens, where ever you go..but then this morning...
I get reamed by the vice president again, ( I wrote about getting reamed by him before for something I didnt do and a month later when I could prove it all I got was , well done) this time over something so fukin petty I cant see myself staying longer than I have to and it really made a decision for me that I have been bouncing back and forth.
A few weeks ago we got this 'post card' with a special code on it. It was addressed to the company and I get the mail in the mornings and sort through it. The directions were to enter the code into our system to get 2000 points for a trip to Italy, now I know that the vice Pres. is the one who gets these trips no matter how many points I contribute and that by entering it in the system it goes towards the total points made by the agency...so without thinking it was a big deal I entered the code and our agency got the points. Done, simple and through out the little card.
Yesterday he asks me if we ever got this card, I said ya and told him I put the points in for us and instead of getting oh, thanks for doing that for me I get well I should have gotten the card, I want to see it tomoorow.

Well I left him a voice mail,
I threw out the card, if you are looking for the points it will be on the report generated in february.
This morning I get yelled at and asked a load of bull**** questions like, oh so because u open the mail u take it upon urself to do that...well ya...it is my job. I followed the directions...you are getting your points, so what is the big deal I said?
Then he huffs and puffs cuz he knows its not a big deal and I getloud with him because he is making me angry over something so stupid.
He didnt like that because he is big bad boss man and I am meek employee.
I dont give a fuk at this point so I let him have it.
Now its weird because Its a small office and he is only a few doors down from me so I have to massage his male ego somehow to make "MY" working environment tension free.
I will think about it tomroow, right now I cant get over the fact that he blew up over something so petty...oooo he didnt get to scratch the little postcard and enter the code.
Big frggin deal

So there has been this question on my mind for awhile, I have been tossing the idea of moving back to Ireland back and forth and the only thing that had me doubting myself was the fact that I would be giving up this 'good' job for uncertainty of even finding work when I move...
fuk it. I am saving everysingle penny I can get my hands on and moving next winter. If I save for 1 year I should have enough to live on while I find something , anything that will keep me above water

So thank you mr.Vice president, thank you for being a dick and making that decision for me

ahhhh I feel better now.

Isnt it amazing how something so silly and simple can have such big repercussions?
Just another reason why people should relax more and not let little things get to them...dont be so tightly wound and little things wont get ot you.

I am amazed everytime I see someone fly off the handle over such trivial little things. I am glad I am more laid back and can see just how silly it really is.

BEAT

I was with my family on Saturday and talking and telling stories as families do and the topic went to crank calls and pranks.
We were talking about hings we would love to do to get a laugh and when I started to tell them about the one I wanted to do for some time I started laughing so hard that I couldnt finish the sentence and finally when I got the words out everyone was laughing with tears coming down thier faces and my stomach hurt from the laughter...
It was great...it wasnt that what I was saying was that funny it was that it tickled me and from seeing me break apart everyone else broke apart...it was great.

I drove home smiling trying to remember the last time I laughed that hard, It had been a while and I missed that kind of laughter, that laughter that takes your whole body and makes your eyes water.
It is the most wonderful feeling in the world.

That night I had a funny dream and I was laughing again in my dream so hard that when I woke up I was laughing, I actually woke up laughing,
What a great way to start the day

mkspin

My company just moved to a much larger facility. I've been blessed, truly blessed with A) an office; and an office without windows. I can now freely take pleasure in meeting physicial needs throughout the day (like scratching or picking) without fear of workplace retribution! Life is good...power is good...I love power...love makes me strong...and it's the power of life that brings me here. I've been reading through the postings, and I think they're way cool. I'd like to enrich this thread by contributing something a bit different, something not so filled with the power of love and life, something a bit more banal.

Splendor has many faces...some are obvious, others, well, not so much. My favorite are the not so much...like my boss stumbling over her own words during a presentation...splendorific. Like my cat eating people food at the edge of the kitchen counter after we've reinforced the opposite behavior and then she falls off into the garbage can...splendorastic. Like my girlfriend farting in the shower and saying 'yucky' when she thinks no one is listening....brilliant.

Life is full of these little gems that are passed aside as mundane. To ignore any aspect of beauty's spectrum places limitations on the realm of cool within which we live.

I hope everyone is cool with my joinging in. If not, I'll take my observations elsewhere.

edibility

mkspin wrote:

My favorite are the not so much...like my boss stumbling over her own words during a presentation...splendorific. Like my cat eating people food at the edge of the kitchen counter after we've reinforced the opposite behavior and then she falls off into the garbage can...splendorastic. Like my girlfriend farting in the shower and saying 'yucky' when she thinks no one is listening....brilliant.

I love moments like that they really generally perk up ones day.

Hardy

I just love these postings. Beat, you're an inspiration. You share your life with us. You seem like such a good person. I'm not at all like that.

MkSpin - you are so right, its the little things that make life so good and most of the times we just pass them off. (lucky you with your own office!)

I've put a few pounds on over Christmas and decided to do a two mile walk today during my lunchhour. I'm not big into power walking but thought if I walk at lunchtime, I'll start losing some of those pounds!

I was walking and I was thinking about my boyfriend. We're only going out four months. I analyse EVERYTHING. But I was thinking why I really like as physically, he wouldn't be what I would have went for (READ: Always chose the wrong guys!). But I was thinking of the way he purses his lips when he's concentrating, or the way he talks to strangers - its a different tone to his voice and the way he makes me feel like i'm the only woman in the world.

But its the little things that all add up.

And isn't it funny how people who are complete strangers share knowing smiles? As I was walking, I noticed the amount of people who were also walking. This one lady was wearing a really nice brooch and thats how I noticed her on my way around. As we passed each other, we both did a double take and smiled.

Okay, so maybe not an inspiring observation today!

40crush41

i love that last one about the laughing
hah -have u ever started to laugh and then laugh at how u laughed -then laugh about how u were laughing at ur laughter?! thats a lot of laughs to say the least :P

as my friend once said when we were doubled over laughing about something -God knows what! "You know when u squint ur eyes like this, and then u look up at the ceiling, and u can't see anything b/c ur laughing so hard. yea, thats when ur having a really good laugh!!" said completly out of breath. ahh yes, good times good times.

and on another note -i was walking outside the other day when it was snowing to get the mail. there was about a half an inch on the ground already, and everything was dead silent except for that sound thats like rubbing two pieces of cotton toghether under my feet and the little snowflakes softly landing on me and the ground. it was so peaceful -i just had to stop walking and look around me, seeing thousands of little white specs falling all around. and i just thought -how beautiful? I thought of the thousands of poems and paintings that this scene right there in front of me had been inspired by this. and to think if it wasn't for me getting the mail i would have been hiding from this inside of my house.

well, have a nice day, and beat -thanks so much for this thread, its wonderful! ~Beth

40crush41

ah, just read the one about music.
words can't describe the feeling inside when music touches u like this. ur doing something and then: poof!
-sitting on the floor, starring at the speakers, trying to comprehend this beautiful emotional presence floating around you, as if its wrapping you in a blanket. And nothing else in the world for that period of time matters.-

to me, there is no greater feeling than sitting with a good friend in a room, quietly listening to music that moves you like this. knowing that u don't have to say a word, comfortably sitting there.

when i think about the power of music im struck with awe. it doesn't matter what language you speak, music says the same thing to everyone -its simply awesome.

*smile* ~Beth

MojoMaker

I was going to post this anonymously....but I can't!! lol.

Some of my favourite pieces of music include soundtracks, specifically the soundtracks to Braveheart and Gladiator, and lately, the Return of the King. Snippets from those collections of music can stop me dead in the street, office, pub, wherever...

It may not do anything for you but it sparks my need to identify with a hero, perhaps because for a long time I wasn't even my own hero. The music forcefully links me with what I perceive to be a hero (I know everyone's idea varies). The impressions it creates are indelible. Its reach, profound. Its effect, powerful yet oddly benevolent, like a strong man cupping the head of an infant child.

BEAT

I want to say thank you first of all to everyone who has posted a contribution...I am so glad that you enjoy the thread and either relate or get inspired in some way. I encourage more readers to post as well.

A quick note about the music, I am also a fan of sountracks and have many that I listen to...infact this week I have been listening to the LOTR soundtracks so when I saw that mentioned in MM's post I just had to comment. I listen for a different reason though, I get lost in its beauty. It is a timeless piece of music that picks me up and moves through me making my spirit light.

---

Every year since I was in Junior High School I have made a visit to my 4th grade teacher. For some reason I made a connection with her in the 4th grade that I never forgot and we always kept in touch. I would come to the school and surprise her sometime during the year and she would let me do the lessons for the time that I was there and I woudl have to tell stories to the kids about what we did when I was there and the mischief I got up to. It was great, i looked forward to it as much as she did every year,
2 years ago she retired and I didnt make it in during that last year. We still kept in touch though through xmas cards.
This year she invited me out to her home in the xmas card, my heart was warmed. She had ofcourse invited me ofcourse but I'd never taken up the offer before now.
This past weekend I went out and met her husband for the first time and told them about my travels and just caught up on times. I also made a painting for her in her favorite color and had no idea the meaning it was going to hold.

When I unveiled the painting for her they were very appreciative and explaing to me that every painting in thier home was done by someone they knew and that they all held special meaning for them, How perfect! I was so excited that mine would now be among that collection.

It is amazing how much good it does your heart, how much joy fills your being just from being in good company. I was so happy to see her again and to share stories of travels and hear about her family and retired life. I am so glad she is in my life.

So many years ago some gesture was made along the way that brought us closer than a student and a teacher and that bond never broke, how wonderful is that?
How often do you keep in touch with friends far away, or loved ones for that matter?
I have so many people that I am constantly keeping the lines of conversation open for, and I love it.

Reach out and touch someone

40crush41

The Return of the Kings Soundtrack is incredible! that song that Billy Boyd sings... no words -i can put that on repeat for hours and just stare at the ceiling.
and that part in the movie where its played, u know what im talking about -just, no words.

thanks again beat! and everyone -have a great day

parker larkin

Hi Beat,
That's a lovely story about your teacher, I often think about getting in touch with one of my old teachers but never build up the nerve. I think I'll reconsider sending her a card
Thanks

BEAT

Thanks Parker, I am glad it helped you make that decision. You'd be surprised how much it means to teachers to have students come back letting them know they remember them and that they did something to change some part of them in life, as my teacher said after she retired: I was at home 2 days afterretirement and felt like I was nothing. I reminded her quickley that she wasmore than she knew and that she helped shape the person I am today and so many others...they always appreciate students coming back it means more than you know.

---

Today the weather took an anusual turn for the better...it isnt going to last ofcourse but it was amazing none the less.
It is the middle of wonter here and usually there is so much snow and ice and cold that everyone is pretty miserable.
it started raining yesterday and melted all the snow, the temperature rose to 50 degrees farenhite and today it got to 65 degrees!
Unbelieveable, we had to break some sort of record for sure.
I sat at lunch and took it all in for I know it wont last and spring is stil 3 months away so I just sat...I sat in let the breeze hit me and I soaked it all in. I took a deep breathe and let it fill me...it gave me such an ehilarating feeling. I have not stopped smiling since.
Tonight, though it is now raining again I plan to sit outside and take it in before it escapes us...for the weather report calls for snow all weekend and for the temp. to drop below 20...

There was snow on the ground yesterday,
the rain came while we slept and took it away
it brought with it the warmth in the air
and a wave of hope for spring to soon arrive

Stepping outside mid-winter
into the sunkissed wind
I took it all in,
I gave myself over to it

I took a long deep breathe
of this unexpected preview of spring
so warm and free, I let it fill all of me
It escaped me with a smile...my eyes shining

The flowers are still deep below
the snow is again on its way
but for a moment we had a glimpse
of what is to be

It was glorious,it was pure
so full of joy and surprised were we
a gift from mother nature
to her Earth, her playground.

parker larkin

cheers beat, you seem a very positive person

BEAT

Heh, I try parker...I try

---

I know I havnt written anything in awhile...I do apologise.
It has been a roller coaster of a month...so many ups and downs and yet it always ends the same A smile on my face and hope in my heart.

There are so many possiblities on the horizon that I cant begin to go through it all.
The nessage I would send is that your life is an open book and it is up to you how the next chapter turns out.
Will it be a drama, a thriller perhaps?
I have a list of plans for the year...it is so important to set goals for yourself.
I have plans A, B and C. You should never put all of your eggs in one basket...meaning, dont rely on having just a plan A.
There should always be a backup plan incase a wrench is thrown in and disrupts a successfull end to plan A.
Life is all about change and adaptation...you never know what tomorrow will bring no matter how hard you plan and organise

Have a dream, and then have another one it never hurts to have more than one! Chasing them is what life is all about...make the adventure along the way memorable.

MojoMaker

The only dream truly impossible to realise is the one you don't have...

Piste

No one is ever truly out of your life forever....

MojoMaker

Battle of the cliches, round two:

You don't truly find something worth living for until you find something worth dying for.

(As opposed to merely existing of course)

BEAT

hmm one of my fave's then back to observations:

you must learn to love yourself unconditionally before you can ever truly love anyone else unconditionally.

Love comes to those who wait..
actually it is: the best things come to those who wait..but I think love qualifies as one of the best things


I find myslef in a constant state of 'being in love" not always with people mind you, though I do fall in love quickley , I find myself in love with my surroundings and the landscape...the earth and all of her bountifull gifts.
Just everything...and yes I do hug grand old trees

Being able to love so much is both a gift and a curse, because with love comes loss ...but as they say
it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Ahhh, I think I have had my fill of cliche's for one day

blondie83

Nice thread here! Well todays observation: I was getting the Luas home from town earlier on. Just before the doors shut an old nun jumped into the carrige where I was standing, and smiled and said something about the weather. I smiled back and agreed. Then a girl who had been sitting down texting someone on her mobile jumped up and offered the nun her seat, but the nun smiled at her and said it was okay cos she was just staying on for one stop. Then the girl offered her seat to another person standing up - a man holding a complaining toddler in his arms. He smiled gratefully but told her that it was okay, and then she sat back down.

The tram started moving and I noticed the nun turn to wave out the window. I looked and saw she was waving at two old nuns who were walking by that she seemed to know. They didn't notice her waving though as we passed them by - I was sad about that because she was giving a big happy wave at them. Then the Luas stopped at the end of the road for a while, and they caught up with it, the nun started to wave at them again, and this time they saw her and waved back and smiled.

The Luas went on for a while, then when we got to Ranelagh another woman got up and offered her seat to the man with the still complaining toddler. When he again politely declined she insisted that at least his wife take the seat. The wife in question was laden down with bags and gratefully took her up on her offer. She sat down, and the husband sat the toddler on her lap. Then the wife, the husband and the woman who had given up her seat spent the rest of the journey chatting about children and babies and how wonderful they were. It was really nice to see. My mum often complains that no one ever offers seats on the Luas, or that people are rude on it, but I disagree. I always see things that make me happy when I'm on it. People helping each other out, lifting bags for people, offering seats for them, making space for them, chatting away to random strangers - its nice to see!

BEAT

I am not on here as often as I would like anymore, perhaps I should change it to Weekly observations thanks for sharing Barbie!

An old habit is dead, triumph! giving life back to a family member,
and a friend finds out they are ill and may not recover...defeat.

These two people are connected in more ways than one.

for so many years a habit drug her down and was stealing the life away slowly, years of warning and loved ones trying to make her see but it had her so consumed. Finally, a light came from somewhere and she stopped.
We are all so proud of her, so much joy fills my heart to know she will be getting her life back, though damage is done.

another person finds out in this time that a mistake she made has taken her life short and nothing she can do will reverse the results, the end will come and it wont be easy. She spent a lot of time telling the other how to live her life happily and to quit that habit...and now she is the one who's life is being cut short.

Isnt it ironic, a lifetime of wrongdoing is undone and life remains...and
one night takes teh life of the person who spent thier time helping others see the errors of thier ways.


Sometimes you are looking the wrong way, and what seems so rightly deserved brings consequences. What seems to be what you have wanted for so long has its price.
Just this once you say,
that was all it took.
It wont happen to me...I am not that kind of person,
they never are.
I have so much life yet to live,
the good die young.

iceman_2001_ie

This didn't happen today, a few months ago actually, but really made me smile - and thank God for the beautiful world that s/he created.

I was waiting in traffic, randomly staring into the distance, when my eyes focused onto a point about 10 feets from me, on the wall that defines the road. There, on top of the wall was a baby palm tree. The traffic moved, and I lost sight of it, but I had a smile for the rest of the journey. Why - I don't exactly know.

I look for the sapling occasionally when I pass that way, and while I don't have the same response every time, I do enjoy thinking about how it made me feel

BEAT

I have been forced to take a hard look into my life and my general thinking process recently.
For the most part I like what I see...but then there is the other part.

When I look at myself now compared to the person I was 5 and 10 years ago I see so many changes, mostly good changes but some things changed that now I am wondering about. Should some things...and I mean "values" change over the years?

There was a time in my life when I thought Marriage was a holy beautiful Union. Now I see it as an encumbrance and not 'holy' at all.
I once believed in going to church, because I believed in something...now I am not so sure anymore. I believe in different things now...but should I?
It is a tough question because no one can possibly give you the answer,
its something you have to figure out yourself and then live however you see fit.

So many values about sex and marriage and religion are drilled into our tiny minds and it is hard to break free from that,
I have developed my own opinions on such matters and I was happy with my conclusions until a recent unforseen event.
I am back at a re-evaluating stage once again.

I have decided that its better not to decide, it is possible to believe in more than one thing and several at that. No one's opinions are wrong, they are all different...and all must be accepted for peace of mind.

Life is too short to struggle with uncertainty.
It is too short to not be happy, so do what you have to inorder to find that happiness...you never know when it will be cut short.

BEAT

When it all comes together and you can see it happening, it can be a bit un-nerving.
I have been hoping and praying my whole life for something to happen, for a whole chain of events to happen actually and for the first time I think it is actually happening which changes a lot of things.

I had plans that now have to wait because I feel it is more important to see how this situation is going to unravel.
I wont go into detail yet, not until I know for sure.

But to see your life changing before your eyes, to realise it is happening...it is like being in a dream and watching from the outside. Most people just live thier lives and go down certain paths without thinking and just end up where they are without really knowing what happened...
but to sit back and watch it play out knowing that in a few months your life will have changed drastically forever,
it is amazing.

It makes a person like me, who is anxious to get to the next part, actually sit back and slow things up a bit to take it all in. It is a confused kind of happiness...to know I am getting what I have always asked for and that the search may finally be over and the new life begins with so many new challenges to come.

I embrace to changes to come and enjoy my life as it is now and look forward to what is to come.

BEAT

The Biggest sigh of relief in my life thus far,
I am so lucky.

I recently had a scare and had to wait to find out what was happening which only built up the anxiety.
After all the waiting, sleepless nights and constent worry I found out that everything is okay and there was no need to worry afterall.
Hindsight is 20/20 as they say

How often do we work ourselves up about something and make ourselves sick when in the end it was not called for?
Ofcourse some things, big things are going to be worreid about regardless.
But how many of us put ourselves in situations that need not be?
How many of us create ridiculous situations for ourselves instead of just taking life 1 day at a time?

I am very lucky to come out the scare I came out of unscathed,
and I have learned from the experience...I will not let it go unremembered.

I think the panic in this case serves as a good reminder for me not to do what I did again

A clean bill of health is worth more than any amount of money can buy,
as well as Peace of mind.

Live your lives accordingly

el_tiddlero

today i awoke with a thundering sneeze, a portent of things to come perhaps? indeed it was so, a day spent in the squalor of my tiny lab surrounded by pungent chemicals and slightly deranged colleagues. it didn't end early in the day as these cases of sneezes have been known to, no sir, this one was in for the long haul, a constant endless stream of snot has been evacuating my nose as if some terrible warning has been sent to those whom i host in my vessel, good lord, if only they would desist with this panicked rush out, in time my friends, all in good time i called to them but alas still they poured out of me as though they got off the 8:15 at tara street.. i hate them.......
still they haunt me, and plague my every movement, two steps and a sneeze, or that most loathsome of drips, the rawness that is uncurable by any means, no moisturisers, no petroleum jellies, not even the sweet embrace of sleep can save me now....
if only we humans had evolved with a tap connected to our noses, all our problems would be solved, we could merely stop the flow when required and then at an appropriate moment let the vileness emminate down some sewer to feed the increasing fishrat population that surley dwells beneath us....
anywho i'm off to drown in my own mucus....

Orla1

I'm just after coming home from a very unproductive meeting right now, thoroughly p****d off with the way things had gone when I was walking down the and looked up... there are just so many stars up there!! (well duh!!!)
But it just made me think how there is a larger universe out there and everything is not centered around me and my group (who, btw, NEVER get anything done!! lol)

BEAT

Thanks for your contributions el tiddlero and Orla

I have been thinking a lot latley about relationships, mostly because I started dating again.
What I am wondering about is,
In todays society is thier room for a romantic?
It seems like what ever notions of romanticism you have they are pushed away by the pressure of trying to live up to the 'detached' relationshiop.

A lot of people I know are in relationships, live together and even have kids but all are not married and most spens a lot of time thinking of leaving the other person.
What happened to dating first, falling in love then marriage then having a family etc... people now seem to like to have thier lives separate.

Most men today...atleast the ones I run inot want to have a casual relationship. No atachments. How romantic is that??
not very.

I think deep down inside a girl really wants a guy who brings them flowers, opens doors, holds thier hand and who wants a future together.
not the guy who takes them out , has drinks and laughs brings them back for sex and calls them in a week with no plans of ever making a commitment.

Stability and romance is lost in todays relationships. Its as if we are afraid to ask for what we want because we dont want to lose what we have. How horrible is that? You'd settle for something your not completely happy with just so you didnt have nothing at all?
I dont agree with that. I would rather be alone than compromise what makes me happy...life is too short to live it the way others see fit.

There are too many people in this world to meet and too many chances of meeting that one person that does think the way you do to give it all up for the notion of being happy with what you have becuase its too hard to start over again.

I refuse to settle for something that isnt 100% satisfaction.
Too many people "SETTLE" and then 10 years more or less down the road they find out it isnt what they wanted so they break it off and lose all those years! what a waste.
Basically, you cant rush into something that is suppose to last a lifetime. You have to take your time to know if it is going to be something that will withstand the test of time.

Having romantic notions isnt a bad thing, infact it is something that needs to make a strong comeback to make relationships strong again. Everyone wants to be aknowleged and everyone wants to know what they mean to thier partner. The smallest thing sometimes can make the biggest impression on someone.

I began to change my idea of what I wanted in a relationship when I couldnt find what my heart really wanted, after toying around with it for awhile I realise that there is no substitute for what the heart wants. So my search remains for the man who is considerate, passionate, funny, confident, intelligent and looking for the same in a woman

Never settle, life is too short to accept anything other than what truley makes you happy!

BEAT

Spring is approaching and my heart feels lighter, there is a 'spring' in my step and smiles come much more easily. Winter is long and hard on the emotions...everything seems to be bottled up during winter, and finally spring comes and you can open up and breathe. ahhhhhh

Its a friday and Easter is this sunday
a roadtrip is before me
time to be spent with family
memories remembered and made

How precious time is
life is ever changing
these moments will never be in your grasp again
make the most of the time you have

Spring is upon us
Life begins again
the world turns a little faster
the day shines a little longer

Love is in the air
spread it, share it,
let it consume you
Love is why we are here.

Take it all in
look all around you
take long deep strong breaths
it could be your last

Time is so precious
it escapes us, we are the product
grab each moment and squeeze hard
life is beautiful, it is so very
Beautiful.

Dublin's Finest

I was on boards.ie and I observed these goons talking about the beauty iof stop lights as if they were Keats and then I realised that they weren't taking the Michael and thought to myself, that's a shame.

Discover irony....soon.

BEAT

I have been on here a few times trying to update the thread and each time was interupted by work and couldnt finish...I did try to post something friday and it was long too...but for some reason it didnt take, so now I will try and recover that which was lost in that post.

A week ago a young man I knew was killed in a motorcycle accident. He missed a turn and couldnt recover due to his speed, and just like that a 25 yr old with a 5 year old son lost his life. I am friends with his parents and was with them the night he died...they didnt ifnd out till the following morning.
It is sad for so many reasons but most of all for me is because of his son. The mother of his son died last year of a self inflicted gunshot wound, the poor boy will grow up having lost his parents to violent deaths. One can only hope he will find a way to make peace of it and lead a normal life.

You never know what the day will bring, you can never ever know if today is your last day on earth... why not live each day then with happiness in your heart and a smile on your face...I know its easy to say that and not many people can or will do that, but knowing how life can end at any given moment wouldnt you want every moment to count?
I say live each day as if it were your last...I have said it many times in this thread. You cant plan too far ahead in this life, just living each day at a time is all you can do, so make a memory each day if you can.

Thursday or friday morning on my way to work I saw the most beautiful thing, I was looking into the sky ahead of me as I drove and from behind the clouds I saw the sunshine and below the sun I saw the outline of the Moon...with the blue sky surrounding it all it was so beautiful. I keep pictures like that in my memory for times that I need it.

Spring is here and we had our last snow storm this past weekend, I know it was the last and it came on hard. This morning the snow clouds are finally lifting and the blue skies are emerging. The beauty that is spring will surround us once again. The trees are blooming and flowers will soon blossom.
The rains will come and give life to the earth.

Plans can be made and broken mistakes can be made and people can dissapoint you but the thing to remember is that if tomorrow comes you can start over again. There is always room for error, no one is perfect. Accidents happen and life is short...is it worth it to hold anger in your heart? afterall, who does it hurt really? to many people hold grudges, and for what? name one person who held a silly grudge and didnt regret it at some point.
think about it.

Velvet Vocals

Beat Thanks for sharing that story!

Beat wrote:

Thursday or Friday morning on my way to work I saw the most beautiful thing, I was looking into the sky ahead of me as I drove and from behind the clouds I saw the sunshine and below the sun I saw the outline of the Moon...with the blue sky surrounding it all it was so beautiful. I keep pictures like that in my memory for times that I need it.

You know, I have a camera phone and sometimes I'm so overwhelmed by what I see that I have to take a quick picture. I have lots from mornings when the sky can be so amasing! I highly recomend one as you always have little memories in you pocket!

BEAT

Ya know I used to have a camera phone but I found that I rarley used it so I traded it in for a better phone. I carry a real camera around in my car for things that need to be photographed though Camera phones dont have a good quality or wide enough range most of the time.

The weather is finally beginning to breaka and the sunshine is trying to make it back into our lives. Winters are always long and draining but this year it just didnt want to leave for some reason. I found it to be emotionally draining as we had 2 good weeks of sun and warmth and then it vanished and back came gray skies and cold wet weather. So discouring it was after hopes that spring was here to stay.
I htink mother nature has finally kicked jack frost in the nads hard enough for him to retreat into the shadows for the next 6 months.

Its amazing how the weather can affect your moods without you even realising it. I know when the sun is shining i am smiling and making plans of what I can do with the rest of the day and when its dark and rainy I htink of going home or maybe watching a movie to stay away from the day. It seems to drain on me a little more each year, I dont htink I can live through the winters forever. Eventually I will have to move where the snow doesnt blow

Perhaps I wouldnt be so appreciative of springtime if winter wasnt so horrible? like they say, you cant truley know happiness until you have seen misery.

Velvet Vocals

BEAT wrote:

Ya know I used to have a camera phone but I found that I rarley used it so I traded it in for a better phone. I carry a real camera around in my car for things that need to be photographed though Camera phones dont have a good quality or wide enough range most of the time.

I'm actually lucky enough have a sharp GX30 phone which has a 1 mega pixel camera so mine takes really good pictures. It proves very handy to always have one with you, I've been able to capture some really nice pics.... for examples see attached.

BEAT wrote:

The weather is finally beginning to breaka and the sunshine is trying to make it back into our lives. Winters are always long and draining but this year it just didnt want to leave for some reason. I found it to be emotionally draining as we had 2 good weeks of sun and warmth and then it vanished and back came gray skies and cold wet weather. So discouring it was after hopes that spring was here to stay.
I htink mother nature has finally kicked jack frost in the nads hard enough for him to retreat into the shadows for the next 6 months.

I think essentially I'm a solar-powered person so I know exactly how you feel!
On Friday it was so lovely, I was in such a good mood, every chance I got I was out side, along with everyone else, talking and laughing and really looking forward to the weekend and now we have days like yesterday and today, perpetual rain and doom and gloom and everyone is in such bad form. It's even reflected in the choice of music, on Friday I was listening to Gypsy Jazz and dancing around and today I'm listing to Smashing pumpkins and just sitting in the office drinking tea and not doing much else....

(Pic's - the first one was taken at Lake Como in the Italian Alps, the second one was taken on the way to work on Sandymount road in Dublin, the third one was from the rock of Gibralter, the fouth one I took in Marbella last year and the last one was from the top of the empire state building. I love my phone )

BEAT

Thanks Saint,
those are great pictures! you do have an exceptional cameraphone, and might I say your eye for a scene to photograph is good too. Those pictures are postcard ready.

It is a tuesday, the skies are still gray and dull. Rain trickles down from time to time keeping the temperature at a chill...but I know too soon it will fade away and blue skies will return and with it the warmth of the sunshine again.

Last weekend I saw Tulips finally, Usually at Easter you see the first signs of spring which are usually Tulips...this year Easter was so early that there were none to be seen.
When I saw the first tulips pop out of the ground, seemingly overnight, I felt a thrill in my heart. I have been watching the tress now for a couple of months...I always see the first leaves bloom when others notice after the tree is full. The buds were showing in early March and have grown since. A few trees have bloomed and the grass is certainly growing.
I love taking time to sit and watch nature come to life again after a long winter alseep.

How often does anyone really take time out of thier lives to notice these things, to meditate on them even? There is so much going on around us that bring us down...why not let a newly bloomed flower or tree bring you back up again?
Why not let your problems melt away as you gaze at the night sky?

Oh how I long for the warm nights so I can stay out and watch the stars until I cant keep my eyes open anymore,
to lay out in the grass and bask in the moonlight once more.

Lifes simple pleasures are right outside your door

BEAT

"They have worries, they're counting the miles, they're thinking about where to sleep tonight, how much money for gas, the weather, how they'll get there-and all the time they'll get there anyway, you see. But they need to worry and betray time with urgencies false and otherwise, purely anxious and whiny, thier souls wont be at peace unless they can latch onto an eastablished and proven worry and having once found it they assume facial expressions to fit and go with it, which is, you see, unhappiness, and all the time it all flies by them and they know it and that too worries them no end." - Jack Kerouac

this is a quote from the biography by Ann Charters of Jack kerouac

He inspired me to look at life in a different way.

Isnt it wonderful when a person from the past reaches up from the grave with thier words left in forever stone to change the lives of those yet unknown.

BEAT

The trees are in full bloom now, teh grass is growing steady and the wweeds are climbing. Flowers ar popping up everywhere spraying the landscape with vibrant colors. The night air is still cold, summer is taking a while to get here this year. I mark the temperature changes each year by the holiday at the end of May, memorial day. Each memorial day it is hot and the pools are filled..but usually 2 to 3 weeks before memorial day it is hot enough outside for swimming too..not this year. This year its different. Something is happening.

I have mentioned it before...and each year the temperature changes a little more but this year something major happened to the world.
When that tsunami hit it knocked the earth off its axis by so much...
Now they said we wouldnt be able to notice but somehow I think this change in the weather moreso than usual has something to do with it.

The chill in the air doesnt want to seem to go away...I wonder what kind of activity is going on in the glacial regions? do you think they would really tell us? Ofcourse not.
Sure this may sound a little paranoid but in all my years this is the first time it hasnt been warm enough for swimming the weekend of memprial day and the weeks preceeding.

Just an observation...something more people should do more of

BEAT

A funny little thing happened to me on the way to work,
I was in my car at a stop light and I sneezed... A man walking his dog down the sidewalk next to my car heard me and godblessed me, it was funny to hear that ya know, from someone outside the car on the street , it made me smile anyway

Last week I was waiting on an important document I needed for a meeting that was supposed to have been mailed to me and I didnt get it so I called and lft a MSg. No answer so I called again and lft another message, I would have to reschedule the meeting if I didnt get atleast a faxed copy that day. The lady called me back and said she didnt mail it because they didnt have a report from me...I became irate and informed her to rethink what she said because I walked that report into her office and handed it to her the week before. She said she would get a copy and fax it right over,
I got a call an hour later that she was going out for lunch and what was my address at work. She actually drove that document over to me at my office and hand delivered it...now thats what I call service!
I was so shocked that someone would do that...now thinking back I should have sent her a thank you card because a fax would have done until I got the hard copy in the mail.
Sometimes people surprise you when you least expect it.

BEAT

I believe Everyone has thier own "personal message" something that is preinstalled in us and gives us that feeling of, why am I here?
I believe this message comes to us all in time, everyone has thier own time to get the message. Perhaps they need to fullfill something else in life before it will come to them or they must learn some lesson first, but it comes to everyone at some stage. Until then we are in that constent "search" mode, trying to figure out what to do with our lives, and when "it" is enough.

I think I finally realised my purpose in life, it is something that I denied before. It was proposed to me that I work in the medical profession earlier on in my life and I slammed that notion down before the words were finished entering my ears.
A fear of failure at something so important as another persons life in my hands kept me from it, but I always kept the admiration and respect in my heart for those who could help save anothers life.
Finally I woke one day and as if someone planted the notion in my mind as I slept I wanted to devote my life to helping others. I have always wanted to fidn a way to help others with my life I just didnt know how I would do it...and then one day it was so clear.

As if something inside said, ok I think you are ready now. So off to nursing school I go...thought I'd rather go to med school and become a surgeon like my cousin...I wasted too much of my life and I would be 40 by the time I was done. The next best thing came to mind, surgical nursing...and when completed if I am able I can continue on to med school to pursue aspirations of becoming a surgeon.

So all of my distractions have finally cleared a path to the horizon I am destined for...though I will still write my books and paint my paintings I feel my success will be devoting my life to saving lives.

A message is there for each of us and in time it makes itself known...live your life to the fullest whether it comes when you are young or when you are old...everything you do has a purpose.

Velvet Vocals

Good for you Beat! I think you're dead right about everyone having a personal message or calling! We just have to listen hard enough to our hearts and if we are lucky enough we'll hear what we are supposed to do or be. I think that is one of the reasons there is so much depression in the world, not enough of us are listening to our hearts/souls and are choosing to settle for something that's easy but not fulfilling enough!
Why, when we have such a short time on this wonderful planet do people choose to spend it doing the wrong this or with the wrong person?
Fear is the only answer that I can think of. Like you said, it’s a fear of failure.
Well, for you to go out and face your fear is GREAT!
I'm doing something similar my self this year; I'm going back to college to do Music, something I love deeply!
Keep me posted on how you're getting on and congratulations!!!!

Velvet Vocals

Today as the glorious sun beat down on me, with closed eyes I listened to the conversations going on around me. Most people were discussing how wonderful the weather was and how lucky we are that we are having some sunny days recently. But one conversation penetrated my thoughts more then the rest, two men having a chat and one commented on our good weather and the other one said, "Yea, but how long will it last, yesterday was the longest day so they'll only be getting shorter from now on and you can be sure that this is the only summer we'll get, don't get used to it because it'll probably rain tomorrow" Now, this man wasn't joking, you could tell, he really believed that getting his hopes up or even enjoying the present was only going to lead to him being disappointed and it was like he had to prepare him self for the let down.
So what I would like to do is to learn from that man's negative outlook on life and say "ENJOY EVERY MOMENT FOR WHAT IT IS" See the world with a glass half full kinda attitude and you'll be much happier! If it rains tomorrow at least we have today to look back on

BEAT

I totally agree with you on that, and I have posted many times on that very subject

Yes, Yesterday was the summer solstice, I celebrated with a few friends with summer fruits and summer scents and candles and conversation.
The days may grow shorter but so do our lives with each passing day so all the more reason to celebrate all the days you are alive.

Tonight is the full moon, you can enjoy the full moon 3 days before and 3 days after ..did you know that? A lot of people think the full moon is only one day.
The moon is so beautiful, and powerful. I bask in its light every minute I can, I take it all in and breath deep. I listen to the rustling trees and voice my desires and deepest hopes...hoping one day to find someone to share those moments with. I become one with nature and observe every moving/living thing and for awhile I forget my fear of spiders and watch in amazement as they spin thier webs around me.

How often do you forget about yourself, your problems and those of the people around you to just "be"
everyone should take time out to meditate and center yourself,
you can often find answers to those questions you have when you are not busy looking for them