New "Angle" for The war on terror

Ebonyks

Don't know if this is more Humour or Math board, what ya think?, feel free to move it over

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New "Angle" for The war on terror - Breaking News
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At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual
later discovered to be a public school teacher was
arrested trying to board a flight while in possession
of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule,
and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney general John
Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the
notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by
the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They
desire average solutions by means and extremes, and
sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute
value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y"
and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have
determined they belong to a common denominator of the
axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

"As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there
are 3 sides to every triangle," Ashcroft declared.

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush
said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of
math instruction, He would have given us more fingers
and toes.

"I am gratified that our government has given us a
sine that it is intent on protracting us from these
math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with
calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to
inflict plane on every sphere of influence," the
President said, adding: "Under the circumferences, we
must differentiate their root, make our point, and
draw the line."

President Bush warned, "These weapons of math
instruction have the potential to decimal everything
in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we
become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to
factor-in random facts of vertex."

Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader
would say, read my ellipse. Here is one principle he
is uncertainty of: though they continue to multiply,
their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens
around their necks.

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GuanYin

Erm, humour.

Thread Moved.

kmart6

a bit stupid if you ask me

Oriel

Hehe, liked it :-)

hedgetrimmer

Hey! I came up with that maths instruction thing ages ago!! :mad:

UnrealQueen

Originally posted by Ebonyks

"As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there
are 3 sides to every triangle," Ashcroft declared.

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush
said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of
math instruction, He would have given us more fingers
and toes.

I thought that bit was funny:D

muffen

I tought it was good

Eye

got a bit of a giggle from me anyway

The_Goose

:dunno: looks educational to me!!!!!