Job Application

sci0x

This Kid will go far…

This is an actual job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald’s restaurant in Florida; and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash.

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and ‘post-it’ notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

AVAILABLE FOR WORK: Of course. That’s why I’m applying.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 – 3:30pm., Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UPTO 50lbs?: 50lbs. of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be the winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job, no, on my breaks, yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb blond supermodel who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

Oldie but goody

quank

think this was posted quite the numerous of times...... okayish i guess

zAbbo

That has been emailed around a billion times and posted on boards loads as well

Why share this crap, why?

Raphael

Because its really, funny, laughed my a55 off first time i heard it, still got a chuckle out of it this time.


Face it people, there's only so many good jokes out there, if they weren't repeated every now and again, this board would die and be re-incorperated into after hours

But thats just my opinion

Raph

Unpossible

one of my friends actually wrote the following on his dunnes stores app:

Any history of mental Problems: yes, no, yes, no, mabye schizophrenia

Do you have any relatives employed by Dunnes Stores: Ben Dunne


he really didn't want the jobs but his parents made him apply