You know you're a redneck when....

Dr Pepper

Very funny! I like the 3rd one

greglo23

Redneck Engineering Exam

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? a) '66 Ford Fairlane b) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle c) '64 Pontiac GTO
3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?
4. A pulpwood cutter has chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The lot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tall-Boys will it take to cut the trees?
5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?
7. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land?
8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, how many people will swerve to avoid the truck before it crashes at the bottom of the mountain? For extra credit, how many of the vehicles that swerved will have mufflers and uncracked windshields?
9. A Coal Mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?
10. How many generations will it take before cattle develop two legs shorter than the others because of grazing along a mountainside?

DriftingRain

These Redneck games are real! They go on in my hometown. The city I was born in! Yeah yeah yeah...I know...But I'm not a redneck...I'm a nerd!


Held every July in East Dublin, Georgia, this alternative Olympics features events like the watermelon-seed spitting contest, bobbing for pigs' feet, the bug-zapper spitball competition, the armpit serenade, and the mud pit belly flop. Theres plenty of beer, southern fried chicken, and laughs!


~DR~

AL][EN

LOL good joke

Actually DR i know what you mean i saw what your talking about on late nite TV once, looked crazy but im sure if i was there id be first to jump in the mud pits

projectmayhem

excellent. you should send that last one into top gear

rymus

that last one has nothing to do with rednecks.. It was pioneered in the Irish midlands and has been used extensively since then among the boy racer ilk.