Rose of Tralee

blondie83 · 04-02-2004 3:06pm #1

The Rose of Tralee rocks. Here's a sneak preview of next year's final...

THE TALLAGHT ROSE: Laura wore a lovely blue shoulderless number that nicely showed off her tattoos (on both shoulders). For community service she gave lessons at the local boxing club. Unfortunately, her talent (breaking into an 'E'-class Mercedes live, on stage) didn't impress the judges.

THE BALLSBRIDGE ROSE: Siobhan was looking grand in her slinky euro 2,400 dress (from a designer shop in the Powerscourt Centre), and her community work of sending 3,000 parcels of "The Body Shop" camomile massage oil and exfoliating body towels to Ethopia had gone down a storm. However she resigned in disgrace when it was revealed her daddy had asked the local TD to intervene in the judging process.

THE BRAY ROSE: Despite being able to touch her tongue to her forehead and make rolling motions with her belly, Anna didn't make it to the final - accepting the prize would have meant violating her parole conditions. We never got to hear her rousing rendition of Garth Brooks's "Friends in Low Places".

THE LIMERICK ROSE: Was disqualified for stabbing the Leitrim Rose.

THE CONNEMARA ROSE: Brid make a lovely dress out of sea shells and was ready to sing on stage the dance anthem "Sandstorm" (she had recently heard it in one of the lovely new bars in Galway city). But she didn't make it to Tralee because her tractor (laden with bog - might as well take a load along on the same trip) broke down only halfway along the N21.

THE RATHMINES ROSE: Kim had it all - charm, sophistication, community awareness and a stunning voice... but the Rathmines Rose actually turned out to be a man, and ran off to elope with his escort (they'll be starting their honeymoon trip with Bingo in The George this Sunday).

THE KNOCKLYON ROSE: Dressed in a tasteful but plain dress with no special features or noticeable personality, the Knocklyon Rose stood quietly in the crowd between the Rathfarnham Rose and the Tallaght Rose while judges tried to find her. After a half hour of searching the judges gave up and moved on.

THE BALLYFERMOT FOSE: Shardin was a lovely girl, styled in a lovely white silk dress with matching Nike Swoosh that blended very well with the Air Max. Wearing a collection of sovereigns, spangly 12" earrings and sporting the Mr T collection around the neck all outside the dress, she had the judges all in awe. Shardin let herself down though, being disqualified for jumping on some poor 14-year-old girl on the way in with her 12 mates and claiming it was a fair fight.

THE CLONTARF ROSE: Elizabeth refused to go, as daddy got last summer's style Hilfiger Dress after she had maxed out all nine of her Access, Dinners Club, Visa and American Express cards.

THE CLONDALKIN ROSE: Susan never made it as she mugged the bus driver and was subsequently arrested.