Elvis and Jesus - a comparison

Mr Grumpy

Jesus said: "Love thy neighbour." (Matthew 22:39)
Elvis said: "Don't be cruel." (RCA, 1956)

Jesus is the Lord's shepherd.
Elvis dated Cybill Shepherd.

Jesus was part of the Trinity.
Elvis' first band was a trio.

Jesus walked on water. (Matthew 14:25)
Elvis surfed. (Blue Hawaii, Paramount, 1965)

Jesus' entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members.
Elvis' entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.

Jesus was resurrected.
Elvis had the famous 1968 "comeback" TV special.

Jesus said, "If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink."(John 7:37)
Elvis said, "Drinks on me!" (Jailhouse Rock, MGM, 1957)

Jesus fasted for 40 days and nights.
Elvis had irregular eating habits. (e.g. 5 banana splits for breakfast)

Jesus is a Capricorn. (December 25)
Elvis is a Capricorn. (January 8)

Matthew was one of Jesus' many biographers. (The Gospel According to Matthew)
Neil Matthews was one of Elvis' many biographers. (Elvis: A Golden Tribute)

"[Jesus'] countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow."(Matthew 28:3)
Elvis wore snow-white jumpsuits with lightening bolts.

Jesus lived in state of grace in a Near Eastern land.
Elvis lived in Graceland in a nearly eastern state.

Mary, an important woman in Jesus' life, had an Immaculate Conception.
Priscilla, an important woman in Elvis' life, went to Immaculate Conception High School.

Jesus was first and foremost the Son of God.
Elvis first recorded with Sun Studios, which today are still considered to be his foremost recordings.

Jesus was the lamb of God.
Elvis had mutton chop sideburns.

Jesus' Father is everywhere.
Elvis' father was a drifter, and moved around quite a bit.

Jesus was a carpenter.
Elvis' favourite high school class was wood shop.

Jesus H. Christ has 12 letters.
Elvis Presley has 12 letters.

No one knows what the "H" in "Jesus H. Christ" stood for.
No one was really sure if Elvis' middle name was "Arron" or "Aaron".

Jesus said: "Man shall not live by bread alone."
Elvis liked his sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas.

UnrealQueen

Oriel

Alright, let's try a Take-2 of that terrible "joke":
"Hilter and Jesus - a comparison"

I'll start shall I?
Well let's see...oh, got one - Hilter and two eyes...and jesus (for what we know) had two eyes also!

BEAT THAT!!!

gobby

:dunno:

rubbish

hedgetrimmer

Originally posted by Sinecure
Alright, let's try a Take-2 of that terrible "joke":
"Hilter and Jesus - a comparison"

I'll start shall I?
Well let's see...oh, got one - Hilter and two eyes...and jesus (for what we know) had two eyes also!

BEAT THAT!!!

Both Hitler and Jesus started as Social revoluntionaries, only to seize power in very different ways

Agent7249

Originally posted by Mr Grumpy
Jesus said: "Love thy neighbour." (Matthew 22:39)
Elvis said: "Don't be cruel." (RCA, 1956)

Jesus is the Lord's shepherd.
Elvis dated Cybill Shepherd.

Jesus was part of the Trinity.
Elvis' first band was a trio.

Jesus walked on water. (Matthew 14:25)
Elvis surfed. (Blue Hawaii, Paramount, 1965)

Jesus' entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members.
Elvis' entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.

Jesus was resurrected.
Elvis had the famous 1968 "comeback" TV special.

Jesus said, "If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink."(John 7:37)
Elvis said, "Drinks on me!" (Jailhouse Rock, MGM, 1957)

Jesus fasted for 40 days and nights.
Elvis had irregular eating habits. (e.g. 5 banana splits for breakfast)

Jesus is a Capricorn. (December 25)
Elvis is a Capricorn. (January 8)

Matthew was one of Jesus' many biographers. (The Gospel According to Matthew)
Neil Matthews was one of Elvis' many biographers. (Elvis: A Golden Tribute)

"[Jesus'] countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow."(Matthew 28:3)
Elvis wore snow-white jumpsuits with lightening bolts.

Jesus lived in state of grace in a Near Eastern land.
Elvis lived in Graceland in a nearly eastern state.

Mary, an important woman in Jesus' life, had an Immaculate Conception.
Priscilla, an important woman in Elvis' life, went to Immaculate Conception High School.

Jesus was first and foremost the Son of God.
Elvis first recorded with Sun Studios, which today are still considered to be his foremost recordings.

Jesus was the lamb of God.
Elvis had mutton chop sideburns.

Jesus' Father is everywhere.
Elvis' father was a drifter, and moved around quite a bit.

Jesus was a carpenter.
Elvis' favourite high school class was wood shop.

Jesus H. Christ has 12 letters.
Elvis Presley has 12 letters.

No one knows what the "H" in "Jesus H. Christ" stood for.
No one was really sure if Elvis' middle name was "Arron" or "Aaron".

Jesus said: "Man shall not live by bread alone."
Elvis liked his sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas.

I found the comparison of both those very ammusing , the image of elvis going "un huh huh" and doin a swing of his arm while jesus prodding people on the forehead like a preacher and healing em while both of em in same room doin a race to achieve some god forsaken goal came to mind . Too little sleep :dunno: .

No one knows what the "H" in "Jesus H. Christ" stood for.

Holy? Harry? Hungry Hungry Hippo? :dunno: Hitler? I'm gonna get struck down with a lightening bolt for that one

Fella

Originally posted by Mr Grumpy

Jesus was the lamb of God.
Elvis had mutton chop sideburns.

LMFAO

Oriel

Originally posted by Agent7249

Holy? Harry? Hungry Hungry Hippo? :dunno: Hitler? I'm gonna get struck down with a lightening bolt for that one

Oops, you forgot "Hippie"...

reigninblood

I always get Elvis and Jesus mixed up.

Which one of them died of constipation?

Stark

boring.

What else do they have in common, there are people that won't accept that either is dead.

Dr. Loon

Originally posted by reigninblood
I always get Elvis and Jesus mixed up.

Which one of them died of constipation?

Neither you mis informed fool.

reigninblood

Neither you mis informed fool.

Ooooh touchy. Sounds like you suffer with a little bit of poo poo impairment? Makes you cranky does it?

Dr. Loon

Originally posted by reigninblood
Ooooh touchy. Sounds like you suffer with a little bit of poo poo impairment? Makes you cranky does it?

You are hilarious.

quank

Originally posted by reigninblood
Ooooh touchy. Sounds like you suffer with a little bit of poo poo impairment? Makes you cranky does it?

LOL
i dunno abhoot you, but that was hilarious :D

Stark

I think someone confused consumption with constipation.

reigninblood

Well I have been informed he died of massive organ failure due to his intestines becoming clogged with his fúcked up diet and cocktails of pills. If this isn't death by constipation what is. He died on the ****ter as well. Mmmmmmm dignified.

Elvis died in a similar way I believe.