wakes up 5am most nights

K2

do you want some carrots for your horse

Yavvy

Yes please... I also like carrotts...but only when they are cut into nice sticks and are crispy and cool

But I wont be getting down to get them.

foxinsocks

Guys, up at the top of this forum there is a post stating that parenting is an emotive subject, and that you ALL need to remember that just because you believe your way is the right way, that doesnt give you the right to criticise any other parents. SO keep this civil (that doesnt mean just be sarcastic).

Any more personal flaming and there will be bans :ninja:

Fox_in_Socks

josh40

The point here is what's right for both baby and parents, yes, kids have to learn to be independent and sleep in their own rooms but parents have to do what feels right for them.
When my kids were babies, I ran to them everytime they cried, I admit I was neurotic. They are now 14 and 10 and it doesn't seem to have done them any harm.A lot of this really depends on the parents personalities, kids don't remember being 8 months old. They won't thank you because you spend the first 3 years of their lives deprived of sleep!
There are many ways to be good parents, you have to love your kids and put their needs first, that goes on for a lifetime, but you also have to be a happy productive person away from them. That's how to make them happy.
People sweat the small stuff too much. Letting your baby cry for 10 minutes a night because you are dog tired does not make you a bad parent.
One thing I remember though is that my daughter uesd to wake at about 6 every morning when she was 8 or 9 months. The funny thing though is that on the odd morning when she didn't wake up. I used to wake automatically anyway!

Kids change so fast, because he has a regular routine now, doesn't mean it's going to last.

Yavvy

The point here is what's right for both baby and parents,

your dead right, but I have trouble imagining any baby or todler feeling its best to sleep apart from its parents ..unless they smoke and drink and so on ...

kids don't remember being 8 months old

I disagree with this, sure they may not remember events but dont you think the first 8 months have an impact of a childs personality, development, emotional stability, inteligence and so on ?

There are many ways to be good parents, you have to love your kids and put their needs first, that goes on for a lifetime, but you also have to be a happy productive person away from them. That's how to make them happy.

Thats the big challenge... I guess everyone is searching for the best way for them and baby ?

Letting your baby cry for 10 minutes a night because you are dog tired does not make you a bad parent.

Totally agree... some times a child crys, some times you are so tired and havent got the energy to go to their room...maybe they have a cold and there isnt much you can do about it.

Thats one of the reasons letting your child stay in your room is an advantage... they can do their crying and knwo that your still there.

One thing I remember though is that my daughter uesd to wake at about 6 every morning when she was 8 or 9 months. The funny thing though is that on the odd morning when she didn't wake up. I used to wake automatically anyway!

I think thats one of the big challenges to being a parent, you cant ever have a set way of doing things...your always adapting and changing....

But I wouldnt change it for the world

Alan

trilo

about bed sharing.
i am not a parent, im 21 and have some views here on bed sharing, whether they are valied or not its up to you.

i am not opposed to babies sleeping in the bed but it can be hard to break away from this (as my sister has realised).

IMO i wouldnt bedshare if i had a child, saying that i probably would end up doing that for the first few months but only for light naps.

i dont agree with the baby sharing the bed every night. what would happen if the baby rolled of the bed or even if the parent rolled on the child while they were asleep.

all in all this is only my opinion and i aint an expert on the matter.

KoNiT

what would happen if the baby rolled of the bed

You get a heavy "thump" sound or a "thwap" depending on your floor type, followed by an eerie silence & a barely audible “****” from one or both parents. This prompts the baby, if it woke up, to issue a blood-curdling scream, to which both parents reply…”****e”…..

Our fella has fallen out of bed a few times, even his own. I got up in the middle of the night to find him curled into a ball in the middle of his bedroom, poor lad!

As regards the “our bed or not our bed” discussion, our eldest does spend most of his time in ours. Baby no 2 sleeps mostly in the cot

Yavvy

KoNiT That was probally the best answer I have ever heard ...to that particular question ...and jour dead right.

But to answer trilo in another way...your baby will not fall outta bed, you might but trust me parental instincts would never let you indanger a baby like that. And you wouldnt roll over on them either, as a heavy sleeper I had my doubts... but tis true... your own instincts wont let you do it .

Todlers and small children are different..they could fall outta the bed ( theirs or yours) , and the couch and pretty much every where...kids fall over, its an accepted fact. Thankfully kids are made of sterner stuff than us adults and their usually fine , my 4 year old cousin took a head first tumble down some stairs and banged her head off tiles... now she was pretty badly hurt but a fall like that would have killed an adult I would say !


the only draw back I have found with bed sharing is the rude awakenings, I wokr up this morning and my little girl was bashing me in the eye with a plastic zebra... but you know its sooo worth it .

KoNiT

Alny - our Lad's first "free fall" was at 6 months - not quite toddler

Now I would not share a bed with an infant < 3 months, they are quite happy on their own. You'll pull them into the bed when they're older and more demanding. It may have nothing to do with attachment parenting, we just wanted sleep, & when your week after week of pounding the halls all night, you will give in.

Our fella refused to sleep in his cot, he screamed the house down.

Pick him up - he shuts up
Put him in cot - he screams
Lay him on the bed - he sleeps
give him 1/2 hour & put him in cot - he screams again!!.. feck it I want to sleep so we settled him into the bed

Yavvy

eep six months ..you must have got a big fright !

our little girl shows no sign of rolling off the bed yet, she just turned six months..so maybe soon. but then up till now I have had a modified cot beside the bed. Americans call it a co sleeper, i call it " wooden cot with one side removed." Tis a good idea, cause the baby is still in the bed..but you still get most of your sleeping space. having said that...she doesnt use it all that often... sleeps between us most of the time.

trilo

your baby will not fall outta bed, you might but trust me parental instincts would never let you indanger a baby like that. And you wouldnt roll over on them either, as a heavy sleeper I had my doubts... but tis true... your own instincts wont let you do it . Alany


alny your baby has a good chance of falling out of the bed... it happened to my sister, and she is one of the most vigil of mothers.. it does happen... mother instincts or no mother instincts.

in the end, i suppose it is up to the mother or father to make this decision, and take or dispose of any advise that they get on this matter.

my sister had her first baby sleeping with her as a baby, hes three now and he wont get out of the fecin bed..... but he probably will after a while and come to realise that hey its great having my own bed and my own space and sometimes maybe crawl into bed with mam and dad sometimes,, mybe even kick dad out of the bed (lol the oepidal stage)

ohh i crack myslef up sometimes(NOT)... excuse me .
achewwww

K2

I have been accused of being full of it, misinformed and absoluty wrong, yet this article which appeared yesterday only repeats many warnings which can be found by searching the internet. A conversation with your doctor or contacting this organisation:

THE IRISH SUDDEN INFANT DEATH ASSOCIATION

Carmichael House,
4 North Brunswick Street,
Dublin 7
Telephone: (01) 8732711

can also be used to confirm the following:

SOURCE: SKY NEWS/ ENGLISH DEPT OF HEALTH:


WARNING OVER COT DEATH
Parents have been urged not to sleep in the same bed with their babies due to the increased risks of cot death.

The Department of Health has included the advice in a new leaflet after recent research highlighted the dangers of bed-sharing.

In January, The Lancet medical journal warned that bed-sharing could be unsafe for infants in the first eight weeks of life.

The Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths (FSID) immediately updated its advice to alert parents of the risks.

The DoH, working with the charity, has now updated its own message.

The leaflet said the safest place for your baby to sleep is in a cot for the first six months.

The pamphlet is distributed to all maternity units in England.

It also includes existing advice for cutting the risk of cot death such as placing babies on their back to sleep, cutting out smoking and making sure the baby does not get too hot.

Cot death - or Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (Sids) - claims the lives of seven babies a week in the UK.

The Lancet study looked at 745 cot death cases alongside the known risk factors.

The researchers, part of the European Concerted Action on Sids, found that six out of 10 of all cot death cases in Europe could probably be attributed to lying babies on their front or side.



I was aware that sharing a bed with an infant would increase the risk to the child, but I certainly don't know it all. In fact I made the mistake of putting my son in his own room at 3mths old, I will not make that mistake with my 5 week old daughter. And I will never make the mistake of ignoring medical advice and knowingly putting any child at risk of sdis.