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Seriously Lousy Insults

  • 01-03-2004 12:19am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,190 ✭✭✭


    These are really mean, but really funny :D

    Tell us -- were you born such a retarded ****head, or were you originally a slug who managed to rise to such prominence?

    You are so ugly the last time you got a piece of ass was when your hand slipped through the toilet paper

    You are to mankind what a gelatinous mass of camel vomit is to gourmet foods.

    You're so annoying that I just want to tear your ears off and shove 'em up your anus so that you can hear me kick your ass.

    Your wife is like a brick; flat on both sides, dirty, and gets layed by Mexicans.

    Here's an idea: Go impale yourself on a sharp stick and die gurgling blood in a pool of your own inadvertently released urine and feces.

    You're so dumb, when you were born your mom should have been arrested for smuggling dope.

    Never trust a bald man. If his head looks like your ass, you know he's full of ****.

    I fail to comprehend how you can continue to function on any level with an IQ that is three degrees below whale ****.

    With your last statement and current appearance you have just answered the question of--"Did the white man ever **** the Buffalo"!

    If we took the collective stupidity of every low-life imbecile known since the evolution of man, it might be close to the complete lack of brain function you posess

    I'm sorry, are you still flapping your man-pleaser, no one wants to hear your cock-holster, so just shut up.

    They really ruined a perfect rectum when they put teeth in your mouth!

    Do us all a favor, and please shut that gaping, tartar-encrusted penis receptacle that you call a mouth; you are a puss-filled cyst in the colon of society.

    To call you an ****wit would not only be a waste of precious breath, but also an insult to ****wits worldwide.

    Had you, perchance, been the owner of a viable braincell, you might have aspired to something other than felching the bottom of the food chain.

    You're a miserable failure. A waste of human flesh. Why don't you do the world a favor and blow your brains out.

    I hope you never have children. It would truly be a shame if you infected this world with your poisoned seed.

    You are one load I wish your mother had swallowed.

    What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard. At no point were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it.

    You're pathetic. Don't believe me? Ask your wife, she might tell you since she probably tells her friends what a dip**** you are

    You are a pathetic scumbag. Your parents were scum and you're doing a most glorious job of following the tradition.

    Frankly, if you sucked anymore you would inhale your own dick.

    Congratulations douche-bag, you've just made history as the biggest douche in the universe!

    I am truly sickened by the fact that due to some grand joke on someone else's part I am forced to have to share oxygen with you.

    Are you aware that you're a pathetic freak? Or are you just completely oblivious to reality.

    You're a bottom-feeder loser who feeds off the scraps that the roaches won't even touch.

    Hurry up and die already so that I can piss in your grave.

    Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, a ferment, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?

    You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt.

    Your life is a monument to stupidity. I can't believe that ****ty website is still online, but like your mother's herpes, it keeps coming back.

    Do me a favor and mistake a shotgun for your fathers penis and stick it down your throat.

    You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit.

    You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meat slapper.

    You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you.

    Can I borrow your face for a few days? My ass is going on holiday.

    I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformation. I barf at the very thought of you.

    She was such a ****-slut that she looked as if she could suck the color out of a marble.

    See, that's what's meant by dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome.

    Stop using Jesus as an excuse for being a narrow-minded, bigoted asshole.

    He is YOUR god, they are YOUR rules, So YOU burn in hell.

    You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer on the lips than be seen with you.

    If you aren't an idiot, you made a world-class effort at simulating one.

    You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech.


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,483 ✭✭✭Töpher


    Hahaha! :D Genius! :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 607 ✭✭✭malico


    Someone has an anger management problem!!!


    Funny lines!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,105 ✭✭✭Tyrrial


    You're so dumb, when you were born your mom should have been arrested for smuggling dope.

    i know a few people who need to hear that..... but they probably wouldn't get it...:rolleyes:


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,191 ✭✭✭Unpossible


    you seem like a nice happy person unreal queen:D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,135 ✭✭✭KlodaX


    Stop using Jesus as an excuse for being a narrow-minded

    that line I will use ... cheers.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 267 ✭✭EdBanger


    Add this to the list

    "May your Daughter be Raped by tha Cammel of your worst enemy"

    Thats just down right insulting


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,726 ✭✭✭quank


    lol
    jeburs!
    that would so make me cry! :(


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,172 ✭✭✭✭kmart6


    Yes more insults to my arsenal:D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,070 ✭✭✭hedgetrimmer


    Excellent

    "You are one load I wish your mother had swallowed. "

    Classic:D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 345 ✭✭Agent7249


    "Tell us -- were you born such a retarded ****head, or were you originally a slug who managed to rise to such prominence? "

    "Are you aware that you're a pathetic freak? Or are you just completely oblivious to reality. "

    "He is YOUR god, they are YOUR rules, So YOU burn in hell. "

    "If you aren't an idiot, you made a world-class effort at simulating one."

    My favourite ones , thank you unreal for showing me the light, *bows down* :D


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,173 ✭✭✭D


    May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your arse and my your arms grow too short to scratch.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 921 ✭✭✭Shaque attack


    What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard. At no point were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it.

    my favourite, and i'm gonna use it:)


  • Registered Users Posts: 300 ✭✭neoB


    Frankly, if you sucked anymore you would inhale your dick. <-- that right there takes the cake, LOL! I got to use some of these :D lol


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