Jesus golfing

Tyrrial

Jesus and Moses were golfing one day. The third tee was a long water hole. As Jesus teed up his ball, Moses told him to take the drop. Jesus reassured Moses that he would make the green. He used his driver and hit the ball hard and straight... straight for the middle of the pond.

Jesus turned to Moses and asked if he could do that Red Sea thing again so he could retrieve his ball. Moses split the pond and Jesus retrieved his ball and returned to the tee off area.

Moses asked, "What in heaven's name are you doing?"

Jesus replied, "Relax, I'll make it this time."

Moses said, "Don't ask me to split the pond this time, just take the drop." Ignoring Moses, Jesus hit a beautiful drive that again fell short of the green, right into the pond.

Moses looked at Jesus and said, "Don't ask."

Jesus went out to the pond to retrieve his ball. He walked on the water to the middle of the pond, leaned over and picked up his ball. About the same time, another foursome came up to the tee box.

One golfer asked Moses in disbelief, "Who does that guy think he is, Jesus Christ?"

Moses replied, "No, Tiger Woods."

Töpher

ha

aidan_walsh

He he he... Pretty good...

Thought you were after posting this one...

Moses, Jesus and an old man were playing golf one afternoon. The final hole was a tough, long par 3, with a sunken water hazard sitting right on the lip of the green.

Moses is first up to tee off. He takes his shot, which is looking good, but lands in the hazard. Moses steps up, parts the hazard in two and taks a chip shot which rolls behind the hole.

Jesus is next up. His shot also lands in the hazard however, but Jesus calmly walks over to the water to where the ball lies, and takes a chip shot that lands to the left of the hole.

Finally, the old man takes his turn. His shot also heads for the water, but just at the last minute a salmon jeaps out of the hazard and grabs the ball in its mouth. As the salmon reaches the peak of its jump, an eagle swoops down, catches the fish in its talons and begins to fly away. At that exact moment, a bolt of lightening hits the eagle, causing it to drop the fish onto the green, the ball rolling out of the salmons mouth and into the hole.

Jesus turns to the old man and says "Look, I've told you before, I'm not going to play golf with you if you keep showing off Dad..."

quank

lol
i liked the second one :D

kmart6

Second one is brilliant

UnrealQueen

They're both good ones:cool:

JohnK

lol
both are brilliant