The drunken priest

Ivan

I was cleaning out my hotmail account today and I happened to come across this email saved in one of my folders there... made me smile

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly
speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor
replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit,
I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get
nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday he took the monsignors advice. At the beginning
of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up
a storm.

Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following
note on the door:

1. Sip the Vodka don't gulp.

2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as
Daddy-O, Laddy-o and the Spook.

8. David slew Goliath; he did not kick the **** out of him.

9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey;
don't say he was stoned off his ass.

10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T"

11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper He said,
"Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say,"Eat me."

12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry."

13. The recommended grace before a meal is not:
"Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God!"

14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at
St.Peter's, not a peter-pulling contest at St.Taffy's.

kmart6

Seen it before still good though:)

quank

seen it a couple of times

first time, it took me awhile to get it:rolleyes:

The Phenom

They were real good

Töpher

Me likes!