hee hee

sci0x · 02-03-2004 10:12pm #1

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to
change
the
admission policy. The new law was that,in order to get into
Heaven,
you had
to have a real bummer of a day when you died. The policy would go
into
effect at noon the next day.
The next day at 12:01pm, the first person came
to the gates of Heaven.
The Angel at the gate, remembering the new
policy, promptly said to the man , "Before I let you in, I need
you
to tell
me how your day was going when you died."
"No problem," the man said. "I came home to my
25th floor apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife half
naked. She
appeared to be having an affair, but her lover was nowhere
in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife was
yelling at me
as I searched the entire apartment. Just as I was about to give
up,
I
happened to glance out onto the balcony and noticed that there was
a man
hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that guy!
Well, I
ranout onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell
to
the
ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and
bushes that
broke his fall and he didn't die. This ticked me off even more. In
a rage, I
went back inside to get the first thing I could get my hands on
tothrow at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of was the
refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony, and
tipped
it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him! The
excitement of
the moment was so great that Ihad a heart attack and died almost
instantly."
The Angel sat back and thought a moment.
Technically, the guy did have a bad day. It was a crime ofpassion.
So, the Angel announced, "OK, sir. Welcome to the Kingdom
ofHeaven," and let
him in. A few seconds later the next guy came up. The Angel said,
"Before I
can let you in, I need to hear about what your day was like when
you died."
No problem," said the second man. "But you're not going to believe
this. I
was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily
exercises. I
had been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to
relieve my
stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and
accidentally fell
over the side!
Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the
balcony below
mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his
apartment,
starts cussing, and stomps on my
fingers. Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at
the
bottom
which broke my fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying
there
face up
on the ground, unable to move,
and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his REFRIGERATOR, of
all
things off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of
me,
killing me instantly."

The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as the
man finishes his story . "I could get used to this new policy," he
thinks to
himself. "Very well," the Angel announces. "Welcome to the
Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets the man enter.
A few seconds later, a third man comes up to the gate. The angel
says,
"Please tell me how you died." The third man says, "OK, picture
this. I'm
naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...."