Ways to turn men down

Hobart

HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share.

HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE: Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE: Okay, get out.

HE: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.

HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.

HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.

HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

T.G Catter

why didn't i laugh at any of them?

bdiddy

Originally posted by Hobart

HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

to which he replies,
great, maybe a good lookin girl will sit there.


HE: you're pretty
SHE: p|ss off
HE: u didnt let me finish, you're pretty ugly and you're fat too!!

ken90

Woman dancing with fat man.

Woman; If that (poking him in belly with finger) was on a man, i'd say
she was 8 months gone.

Man; It was, and she is.

Cable

T.G Catter why didn't i laugh at any of them?

I tend to agree, they're good but they just didn't make me laugh?
Maybe cause i'v seen alot of them before?

kmart6

Never seen some of them,still get a laugh though

UnrealQueen

I liked them as well:)

quank

okay i guess
be funnier in real life

emagdnim

yeah but theres comebacks to those comebacks!

he: have i seen you somewhere before
she : yeah thats why i dont go there anymore
he: really..i heard its cos everyone calls you a fat slag.

he: how do you like your eggs in the mornin?
she: unfertilized
he: grand, ill just shoot me load up ur arse so!

he: sooo your place or mine
she: both, you go to yours, ill go to mine
he: grand, once i f**k u in the back ofme car i dont care where u go.

Now theyre good!

edit: these might be a bit offensive, so moderators if you think so, take them down. I dont want to offend anyone.
Cheers

Commissar

Originally posted by Hobart
HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money.

That would make you sound like a hooker;)

UnrealQueen

/me likes Emagdnims:D

Tyrrial

i like those lines emagdnim