Old. but always funny!

malico

Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing
this.
Many

Chicago folks DID hear this on the WBAM FM morning show Chicago.
The
DJs
play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is
called
"Mate
Match". The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or

seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers "yes",
he
or she
is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is
also
asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for
verification. If their partner answers those same three questions
correctly, they both win the prize.

One particular game however, several months ago made the City of
Big
Shoulders drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the
funniest

thing
I've heard yet. Anyway, here's how it all went down:

DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate
Match'?"

Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have."

DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to Orlando,
Florida
if
you win. What is your name? First only please."

Contestant: "Brian."

DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"

Brian: "Yes."

DJ: ! "Yes? Does that mean you're married or you're what?"

Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."

DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please."

Brian: "Sara."

DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"

Brian: "She is gonna kill me."

DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"

Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."

DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"

Brian: "She is gonna kill me."

DJ: "Brian! Stay with me here!"

Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."

DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."

Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."

DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"

Brian: "About 10 minutes."

DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would! ever have
said
that
if a trip wasn't at stake."

Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."

DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this

morning?"

Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."

DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"

Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mom is staying with
us
for
a
couple of weeks...

"DJ: "Uh huh..."

Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time."

DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."

Brian: "On the kitchen table."

DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous
hundred

times
I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get this wife's
work
number and call her up. You listen to this." 3 minutes of
commercials
follow.

DJ: "Okay audience, let's call Sarah, shall we?" (touch
tone's....ringing....)

Clerk: "Kinkos."

DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"

Clerk: "This is she."

DJ: "Sarah, this is Edgar with WBAM. We are live on the air right
now
and
I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now." Sarah:
(laughing)
"A couple of hours?"

DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not
to
give
any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you know the rules
of
'Mate
Match'?"

Sarah: "No."

DJ: "Good!"

Brian: (laughing)

Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"

Brian (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be
completely
honest."

DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah.
If
your
answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to
Orlando,
Florida for 5 days on us. Disney World. Sea World. Tickets to the
Magic's
game. The whole deal. Get it Sarah?"

Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."

DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?"

Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to
work."

DJ: "What time?"

Sarah: "Around 8 this morning."

DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"

Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe."

DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect
his
manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. You are one question
away
from
a trip to Florida. Are you ready?"

Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."

DJ: "Where did you have it?" !

Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that, did you?"

Brian: "Just tell him, honey."

DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sarah?"

Sarah: "Well..."

DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you have it?

Sarah: "Up the arse....."

After a long pause, the DJ said, "Folks, we need to take a station
break

quank

LOL
first time i read it.... great stuff

they should do that here

lofto

its too long to read....sorry....im sure its funny though

OfflerCrocGod

Oh Lordy:rolleyes: , .

UnrealQueen

Brill!!

DRakE

no one says 'arse' in chicago

Healio

Originally posted by DRakE
no one says 'arse' in chicago

ha ha ha

the raven

yes, yes it is old. but no it isn't funny the 10th time you hear it. and the whole fleshing out the story with three questions and annoying dj really, yes really, sucks.

its a stupid joke. you'd laugh at it, maybe, after a few pints...