ya gotta love the irishman jokes!

attica2k

Go on the Irish!!!..........
Paddy and Seamus landed themselves a job at the local sawmill. Just
before morning tea Paddy yelped, "Seamus, I've lost me bleedin
finger!!!" "Have you now?" says Seamus, "And how did you do it?"
"Well, I just touched this big spinning thing here like thi...God damn
it, there goes another one!!!"

Why'd God invent Whisky?
So the Irish would never rule the world.

"So, have you figured what to buy the Missus for Christmas?" asked
Brady. "I, sure have, she decided it for me," answered Paddy. "She
said she wanted something with diamonds in it, so I've bought her a
pack of cards."


What's the difference between an Irish wedding and a Irish wake? One
less drinker!


Two old drunks on their way home from the pub, were stumblin up the
country road in near darkness, "Seamus, I think we've stumbled into
the graveyard - look, I can see a stone here that says a man lived to
105!" Glory be Malarki, was it anybody we knew?" "No, twas somebody
named
'Miles from Dublin'"


How is it that we know Christ was Irish?
Well, he was 33, still lived at home with his Mother, whom he thought
was still a virgin and she thought he was the son of God.


Did you hear about the Irish business man who got his name printed on
the front and back of his business card? - Just in case he lost it...


There's a German, Scotsman and Irishman at a bar after work.
Each has a full pint. 3 flies buzz into the bar and all of a sudden
land in each of their beers. The German is fuming mad - "No way I drink
this! Disgusting!" as he pushes the pint away. The Scotsman thinks for a

minute, "ach, it ain't that bad. Ye jist pull oot the wee nipper like
this...there ya go, fine as dandy." and proceeds to take a swig.
The Irishmen is also mad, he plucks the fly out by its wings, holds it
over the pint and yells, "Spit it out ya Bastard, spit it out!!!"


How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five -
One to change the bulb and four to comment on how grand the old bulb
was.


How do you get a 1-armed Irishman down from a tree?
Wave to him


Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.


First Irish Farmer: "My cow fell down a hole and I had to shoot it."
Second Irish Farmer: "Did you shoot it in the hole?" First Irish
Farmer: " Nope...in the head."


How do you sink an Irish submarine?
Knock on the hatch.


Did you hear about the Irishman who sued the local baker for forging
his signature on a hot cross bun?


A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he
could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have

another round to Ireland." "Of Course," replies the second man.
Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"
Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm
from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course,"
replies
the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What
school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I
graduated
in '65." "This is unbelievable!," the first man says. "I went to Saint
Mary's and I graduated in '65, too!" About that time in comes one of the


regulars and sits down at the bar. What's been going on?," he asks the
bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are
drunk again."

UnrealQueen

Originally posted by attica2k
Two old drunks on their way home from the pub, were stumblin up the
country road in near darkness, "Seamus, I think we've stumbled into
the graveyard - look, I can see a stone here that says a man lived to
105!" Glory be Malarki, was it anybody we knew?" "No, twas somebody
named
'Miles from Dublin'"

Luv this one;)

The_Goose

last one was good!!!

quank

:rolleyes: