An Irishman's Diary of Canada

UnrealQueen

OUR FIRST WINTER


DEC 20th





It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first we've seen
for
years, the wife and I took out our hot toddies and sat on the porch
watching the fluffy soft flakes drift gently down clinging to the tree
and
covering the ground. It's so beautiful and peaceful.





DEC 24th





We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white glistening snow covering
as
far as the eye could see. What a fantastic sight, every tree and bush
covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shovelled snow for the first
time
ever and loved it. I did both our driveway and the pavement. Later that
day
a snowplough came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with
compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved
back
and shovelled it away again. The children next door built a snowman
with
coal for eyes and a carrot for a nose, and had a snowball fight, a
couple
just missed me and hit the car so I threw a couple back and joined in
their
fun.





DEC 26th





It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature dropped
to
around minus 8 degrees. Several branches on our trees and bushes
snapped
due to the weight of the snow. I shovelled our driveway again. Shortly
afterwards the snowplough came by and did his trick again. Much of the
snow is now a brownish-grey.





JAN 1st





Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became
ice
when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tyres for both our
cars.
Fell on my arse in the driveway. Went to a physio but nothing was
broken.





JAN 5th





Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought her a 4x4 to get her to
work.
She slid into a wall and did considerable damage to the right wing. Had
another 8 inches of white ****e last night. Both vehicles are covered
in
salt and iced up slush.That bastard snowplough came by twice today.
Where's
that bloody shovel ?





JAN 9th





More ****ing snow. Not a tree or bush on our property that hasn't been
damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing
to
death with candles and a paraffin heater which tipped over and nearly
torched the ****ing house. I managed to put the flames out but suffered
2nd
degree burns on my hands. Lost all my eye brows and eyelashes. Car hit
****ing deer on the way to casualty and was written off.





JAN 13th





****ing bastard white ****e just keeps on coming down. Have to put on
everarticle of clothing just to go to the post box. The little ****
next
door ambushed me with snowballs on the way back - I'll shove that
carrot so
far up the little pricks arse it'll take a good surgeon hours to find
it.
If I ever catch the arsehole that drives the snowplough I'll chew open
his
chest and rip out his heart with my teeth. I think the bastard hides
around
the corner and waits for me to finish shovelling and then he
accelerates
down the street like Michael "****ing" Schumacher and buries the
****ing
driveway again.





JAN 17th





16 more sodding inches of ****ing snow and ****ing ice and ****ing
sleet
and god knows what other white ****e fell last night. I am in court in
3
months time for assaulting the snowplough driver with an ice-pick.
Can't
move my ****ing toes. Haven't seen the sun for 5 weeks. Minus 20 and
more
****ing snow forecast.











**** THIS, I'M MOVING BACK TO IRELAND

Oriel

Should this not be in PI?

Agent7249

Lol, we are like that

quank

hahah, i liked it

aftershock

he he he me likes!

unkel

Suaimhneach

Brillant!