Blind Bob

Hello Kitty · 18-04-2004 12:20am #1

A woman came home to find her husband in the
kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some
kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle.
Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him
with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in
two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to
Walkman.

A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then he married the one with the biggest t1ts.

Blind Bobby... .Bobby was in a car crash when he was 4 years old. As a result of his injury he was blind. All of the doctors tests and operations could not restore Bobbys' sight. One evening when he was heading up to bed his mother said to him. "Bobby do you know what night this is?" "No mommy what night is it?" Said Bobby as he felt along the wall to his bed room. "This is wish night, and if a child wishes real hard on this nigh it will come true" "Really???!!!!" said Bobby. "Could I see again???!!!!" "Yes." Said his mother as she tucked him into the bed. "But only if you wish very hard. Little Bobby sat in his bed wishing. He wished as hard as he could. He held his breath so he could put the energy for breathing in to wishing. His little body rocked back and forth his finger nails cut into the palms of his hands as he gripped them into fists. Just before 4 am the little boy fell asleep exhausted. When his mother woke him up the next day Bobby said. "Mommy... Mommy... I still can't see!" "I know", said his mother, "April fool."