Internet chat quotes

Chinafoot

theres a whole site with stuff like this. some absolute classics!!!

<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick f*ckers)
<anamexis> :<


www.bash.org/?top

jabaroon

<Mikkel> If you went camping and you got REALLY drunk with your friend and you
woke up the next morning with a condom stuck up your ass would you tell anybody?
<Celestya> i dont think so
<Mikkel> Wanna go camping?

Libertine

I have an even funnier one, this actually happened to me today on IRC!

<Brian_2004> Hey look at this funny thread http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?postid=1568683#post1568683
<CoolDavid> Jesus, that makes me feel like killing myself. Does that guy actually think that's funny? I hope he gets crushed by a ten-tonne truck.

rymus

Originally posted by Libertine
<CoolDavid> Jesus, that makes me feel like killing myself. Does that guy actually think that's funny? I hope he gets crushed by a ten-tonne truck.

I'd be inclined to agree with "CoolDavid"

RobertFoster

<jeebus> the "bishop" came to our church today
<jeebus> he was a f**ken impostor
<jeebus> never once moved diagonally

Goodshape

*** Now talking in #christian
-Word_of_God- Welcome Abstruse to #christian I am a Bible Bot. For more info type: /msg Word_of_God !info
<Abstruse> !kjv numbers 22:21
<Word_of_God> Numbers 22:21 -- And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab. - (KJV)
*** SageRider sets mode: +b *!*@c211-30-208-111.rivrw3.nsw.optusnet.com.au
*** Word_of_God was kicked from #christian by SageRider (Please dont Swear)
<Abstruse> I know I'm never going to be able to come back in this channel again after this, but damn was it worth it to see that...

Funny site

hedgetrimmer

Regular reader of that site... it's brilliant. Updated daily too!:D

full forward

<Reverend> IRC is just multiplayer notepad

Maximilian

Just a brilliant site!

<Zanthis(ALE)> AFK, tornado

Capt'n Midnight

Originally posted by full forward
<Reverend> IRC is just multiplayer notepad:D

The Clown Man

<Charlesowns> Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin at the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell tab down the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5 submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy loud goin "i want to suck your big dik and swallow your hot sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore fetish gayporn.
<Charlesowns> man my mom started crying and now she thinks im gay... it owns


<skrike> I think the people above me are having sex
<skrike> either that or they're sleeping restlessly and agreeing with each other a lot.


<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.
<Ben174> : Where u work?
<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)

HAH!

krattapopov

thank you for bringing this site to my attention

kaimera

I saw this on the main page and I said to myself...it's hardly somebody posting stuff from bash.org.

fuck me for being right.

www.bash.org/?latest, the second page you should have open after boards.ie

sionnach

Originally posted by The Clown Man
<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.
<Ben174> : Where u work?
<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)

that looks totally staged

RobertFoster

he probably saw the guys IP when he came in.

sionnach

Originally posted by RobertFoster
he probably saw the guys IP when he came in.

now that i think of it that's far more likely

therecklessone

F*ck yis, I'll never go to bed now I've started reading that...

Best one's so far:

<ckx> women ask for it
<ckx> they act all old and mature
<ckx> and then you stick your cock up their ass
<ckx> and they get all bitchy
<ckx> "I"M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!"


<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back ****er"


<jeebus> the "bishop" came to our church today
<jeebus> he was a ****en impostor
<jeebus> never once moved diagonally


<Ich> I have passed the transitional stage of internet geekhood
<Ich> I was cashiering at work today, and was punching in the code for plums, which is 4040.
<Ich> and the 0 key doesn't work this well, so I punched it in wrong.
<Ich> and the machine flashed up "Item Not Found: 404"
<Ich> and I actually laughed out loud


<_kr4m3r> so many ****ing criminals, its bull****
<foniks`> heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
<foniks`> and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
<foniks`> whatd u think they'd say?
<FoSZoR[bg]> something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"

I'll stop now...

The Clown Man

#280066 +(576)- [X]

<Jaeger> whats an oxymoron
<Edgy> Microsoft Works

God I love that site!

powerage22

#142934 +(3850)- [X]

docsigma2000: jesus christ man
docsigma2000: my son is sooooooo dead
c8info: Why?
docsigma2000: hes been looking at internet web sites in ****ing EUROPE
docsigma2000: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE
docsigma2000: our ****ing phone bill is gonna be nuts
c8info: Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra $69.99 to your bill per hour.
docsigma2000: ...!!!!!! **** **** ****
docsigma2000: is there some plan we can sign up for???
docsigma2000: cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dun wanna pauy that much
c8info: Sorry, no. There is no plan. you'll have to live with it.
docsigma2000: o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites.
docsigma2000: but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo dead
c8info: By the way, I'm from Europe, your chatting long distance.
** docsigma2000 has quit (Connection reset by peer)




thought this was a good one!

Chinafoot

love these:

<Radz> Should I replay FF7?
<spiderbait> Nobody's stopping you.
<Radz> That's like another 90 hours I'd be away from you guys though.
<payne> Do it.
<spiderbait> Do it.
<xCell> Do it.


<rellekmr> i'm all for promoting abstinence
<rellekmr> the more people who are abstinant the less pathetic i look


<Kyr> When i was in psychiatry it was so funny when the psychologist tried to make me do this Rorschach test. I said "that's a Rorschach test innit?" and he was like "yeah but you're not supposed to know that. Now the test 'll be useless"
<Kyr> So I said the drawings looked like dead people and vaginas to console the guy


and for all u computer geeks out there:

sup4hleet: eh, she's cute and has a rack you could mount a server on

projectmayhem

b0g.org has a quotes section worthy of a look-see too

sionnach

Originally posted by projectmayhem
b0g.org has a quotes section worthy of a look-see too

they're not that good at all, some good ones but in general nowhere near as good as the bash ones

Hal1

You want quotes ya got 'em :0

Hal1

o0ps, thats been done before

sionnach

Originally posted by Hal1
You want quotes ya got 'em :0

roflmfao, /me claps very slowly

UnrealQueen

<@Unsavory&gt; eggdrop1.4.0 is weird
<@Unsavory&gt; its got just a different feel to it
<@Unsavory&gt; like an anus and a vagina

LOL, that bash.org site is brilliant

hedgetrimmer

A long read

But well worth it. One of the best BASH quotes I have seen on minths and months of reading the latest page.

warning - contains strong language

Hal1

Originally posted by sionnach
roflmfao, /me claps very slowly

:O

Isobar

Originally posted by hedgetrimmer
A long read

But well worth it. One of the best BASH quotes I have seen on minths and months of reading the latest page.

warning - contains strong language

I have to agree!

I've been reading bash for ages too and that is one of the best.:D

Raz

Originally posted by hedgetrimmer
A long read

But well worth it. One of the best BASH quotes I have seen on minths and months of reading the latest page.

warning - contains strong language

That is legend

penguinbloke

just started laughing at this in a lab.

Quit: (+[WG]sPiKie) (Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].)

dear god i'm pathetic