Nursery Rhymes

red_ice

got this in an email.. prolly old but i found it funny


> Mary had a little skirt
> > > > > >
> > > > > > with splits right up the sides
> > > > > >
> > > > > > and every time that Mary walked
> > > > > >
> > > > > > the boys could see her Thighs
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Mary had another skirt
> > > > > >
> > > > > > twas split right up the front
> > > > > >
> > > > > > ...but she didn't wear that one very often
> > > > > >
> > > > > >_______________________________________________
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Mary had a little lamb
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Her father shot it dead.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Now it goes to school with her,
> > > > > >
> > > > > > between two chunks of bread.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >_________________________________________________
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
> > > > > >
> > > > > > What have you got there?
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Said the Pieman unto Simon,
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Pies, you d!ckhead.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >____________________________________________________
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > All the kings horses and all the kings men,
> > > > > >
> > > > > > said "F*** him, He's only an egg.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >_____________________________________________________
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Mary had a little lamb
> > > > > >
> > > > > > It ran into a pylon.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > 10,000 volts went up it's ass
> > > > > >
> > > > > > and turned it's wool to nylon
> > > > > >
> > > > > >____________________________________________________
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > kissed the girls and made them cry.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > When the boys came out to play,
> > > > > >
> > > > > > He kissed them too, cause he was gay.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >___________________________________________________
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Jack and Jill
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Went up the hill
> > > > > >
> > > > > > to have some hanky panky.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Silly Jill forgot her pill
> > > > > >
> > > > > > And now there's little Franky.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >_________________________________________________
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Old Mother Hubbard
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Went to the cupboard
> > > > > >
> > > > > > to fetch her poor dog a bone.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > When she bent over
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Rover took over,
> > > > > >
> > > > > > And gave her a bone of his own.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >____________________________________________________
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Little Boy Blew.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Hey. He needed the money.

Chinafoot

loved the last one!:D

Acidflash

liked the last three

Barry Aldwell

I like the Jack and Jill one

UnrealQueen

Funny:)

Pugsley

All good

smoke.me.a.kipper

loved the first and last.

Agent7249

good ones

MidnightQueen

Ha Ha laughed at those The last few were brill

Capt'n Midnight

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water
Jill forgot her pill
And now they have a daughter

there once was a man
not spinally erect
an unpoetic opening
but politically correct

mary had a little lamb
that talewe've heard before
but then she passed her plate along
and had a little more

when mary had a little lamb
the doctor cried and cried
when old mcdonald had a farm
the poor lad nearly died

Kazu

all good good post

quank

Hahaha, yep, last one was best