twenty things to do on a bus

Jack Frost

1. sit quietly and say nothing at all until you reach your destination
2. talk to the person beside you about how your highly contageous skin infection is getting worse
3. stand beside the driver and stare at him repeating the word wow periodicaly throughout the journey
4. get naked
5. don't get naked
6. think about getting naked and decide for yourself
7. wink at grumpy old men/women
8. sing row row row your boat while on one knee as if your acting out a serious drama
9. cry for the laugh
10. consider taking bungee jumping classes
11. stand in a corner, urinate freely around it and snarl at people that walk too close
12. take a seat home to remember the joys of public transport
13. think of 20 things you could do on a bus
14. phone a friend
15. ask the audience
16. cough every time the bus passes a lamp post
17. try to remember what life was like in the womb
18. try to make animal shapes out of your ticket
19. scratch the window and make relieved sounds
20 scream/yell at the top of your lungs about how nice your mother is while keeping a completely calm facial expression.

repeat all of the above and it's guaranteed you'll either be admited to an institution, slapped, discover what a truely confused person looks like or just make you and all the other passengers remember that particular journey and have a vivid memory of it, the story will spread, it will make people smile, laugh and frown, you'd be doing alot of people a huge favour. they'd see something to make that day mean something, it will be remembered. and it will be a nice break from the organised and repeated day to day lives that 90% of the population lives. - jack frost

MrGump

how disappointing ive only done three of the twenty. I did kick a stranger on a bus, and it was no accident!

(21) Kick People on the bus, especially if its the number 10 to Belfield

Now ive got four!

Aidan Lynch

How about this one?

22) Get your own seat by the window and grin vigourously at each passenger as they come on the bus. You're guaranteed to have a seat to yourself all the way home

tiggertigger

23. Get on a rush hour bus with your boyfriend/girlfriend at Wood Quay Go upstairs. Sit across the aisle from each other and proceed to take out what looks like a packed lunch. Ignore the gasp of horror as the populus to the rear of the action sees the cigarette lighter and then realises the significance of the reddish brown stuff in the tinfoil. Politely ask teenager sitting to your left if he would mind swapping seats with you as it´s difficult to do "this" when holding the gear over the middle of the aisle. Swap seats. Continue with the operation. Then proceed to get off the bus in Stoneybatter.

I´ll be a son of a gun if people won´t remember that for the rest of their lives.
Happened sometime between 1993-96. I was that teenager. Route #70.
In response to Iarnroid Eireann´s slogan...
"Not only are we there. We got here years ago, and went to ****."

Cherry

I wonder if I should try to use these on the plane on Friday. Except #3 & #18.

Buses aren't the only boring method of transport.

butterfly

what you do is, you get on with a friend who's in the know, and start singing really loudly to yourself, and i mean you're singing cradle of filth, not just your s club seven i can;t sing for **** i'm tonedeaf beyond my wildest dreams people.. where was i? oh yeah so you're on the bus, singing loudl;y,, chatting away to your friend the whole time. then when people ask you to pipe down, you turn aropund and calmly tell them you're deaf and don't speak any english. and you continue on your merry way..

Wacker

I was going to question the neccessity of no. 10, but then I remembered that I managed to kind of mess up a bungee jump, so lessons may have been useful.

orangerooster

Number three was done-I was thrown off the bus-the driver clearly didnt want a fan!Another one to do is start asking the people around you "are we there yet" over and over-you'll soon have a large number of free seats around you.

Aidan Lynch

Another good one: a loud mobile conversation along the lines of "yeah, the doctor says it's not life threatening, but I should stay home for a few more days because it's very contagious".

Again, a few free seats around you will amazingly appear.

DerekD Goldfish

24. I think
Give lucozade bottle to bloke sitting behind you who is bursting for a piss get woried when he says its overflowing.

christi

I`m so surprised that no one has mentioned making out while on the bus!!!! This has to be the best way to annoy the piss out of any one over the age of 25 - and as I am now well over that age meself... If I saw two youngin`s making out on the bus I would of course tell them to 'Get a room!' & give them a few euro as I am a real sucker for love

Ewwwwww, just thought of a way old people could get a seat on the bus... Imagine two old folks making out on the bus! 'oh god there goes me lunch!' Not only would I give up my seat on the damn bus, I think I'd get off the bus all together!