Can men and women be just friends?

magissa

hey guys im doing research on whether men and women can be friends without attraction getting in the the way. so if your over 18, heterosexual and have a friend of the opposite sex could you pleaseeeee do my online survey. hopefully we can finally get some answers!

thanks

http://www.media.swin.edu.au/surveyor/survey.asp?s=01237222228079097

Dave

Some people are going to say "Yes, of course men and women can be platonic friends" and others are going to say "No", I think it all depends on the people. There is no definitive answer.

pork99

Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become
That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/bloodhoundgang/iwishiwasqueersoicouldgetchicks.html

UnrealQueen

What?? Of course men and women can just be friends, but i'm interested to hear what males have to say on the subject.

Superman

i'm a guy and i think,
A man and a woman can be friends, as long as you both see it that way it will be a grand friendship. But if one of the sides wants more than friendship you can't really expect it to last.
I know a few girls and they are friends but i wouldn't want to get all serious with them.

I think the qeustion itself "Can men and women be just friends?" is quite problematic, as it uses "just friends", which really just plays down the idea of frienship as not as good as a relationship.

(sorry if my english is abit shit, i'm not the best at it)

Giblet

Ha Ha, they always want to fuck you girls, sorry.

savemejebus

Of course men and women can be friends, they can even be platonic friends if they find each other repulsively ugly, on the other hand if the guy finds the girl even the least bit attractive, and the opportunity arises (both single, drunk, horny etc) then i think the guy would have no qualms about shagging the girl, and then it's bye bye friendship.

Guy point of view

Chinafoot

what was with the first half of that survey???

should've been called "how sexist and outdated are you?"

lodgepole

Originally posted by savemejebus
Of course men and women can be friends, they can even be platonic friends if they find each other repulsively ugly, on the other hand if the guy finds the girl even the least bit attractive, and the opportunity arises (both single, drunk, horny etc) then i think the guy would have no qualms about shagging the girl, and then it's bye bye friendship.

Guy point of view

That's not true of all guys at all.

Lainey

i have quite a few male friends, two of them would be in contact every day.. either by text or meeting up.. you can be friends but i still do think a certain amount of flirting goes on.. i did go off with one of my friends one night but thank god we went back to normal the day after.. phew, and none of our other friends found out either..

Bard

Yes. Men and women can just be good friends.

Silly question really.

DEG viper

In my opinion i dont think that men and women can be just friends. it is alright in the beginnin but after a while u begin to develop feelings. It has just happened to me recently

mang87

Im friend with a few girls. Been friends with the since I was quite small, 4-5 age range. Doing anything sexual with them would be incredibly wierd :ninja:

Rabies

Men and women can be just friends. I have some some female friends that I have known for a good few years. They are just like some of the lads. We go out drinking, have a laugh. Thats it.

I have been with a few of my female friends before. Nothing really changed between us. Went out with one for a few months, we don't speak anymore It seems to work if its only a bit of fun for a night or two, anything more than that can ruin a friendship.

But of course if there was sex offered on a plate it could be hard to turn it down

Lainey

so does the men here honestly think that if a man likes a woman enough to be his friend then he would more than likely want to be with her too????????????

embee

That is such a dumb question.

Of course they can be friends.

You really must think very little of people to think that they are so driven by their sexuality that they can never just be friends with someone of the opposite sex.

Bungalow Bill

I honestly think that it depends on how attractive each person is. If an attractive male and an attractive female want to be 'just friends' then I don't think it can be possible.

savemejebus

Difficult question Lainey, because i think that for a guy wanting to be with someone sexually doesn't necessarily necessitate liking them enough to be friends (i know that if i'm honest with myself there are girls that i don't like personally (vain, materialistic etc) that i would still sleep with if i had the opportunity)

But I also think that if a guy likes a girl enough in the beginning to be friends then it means they have stuff in common and he will eventually cop on to the fact that that is important in relationships and may start having feelings -i'm talking about being good friends here, not buddys, or mates

cournioni

In bed... yes.

Chinafoot

anyone else losing faith in mankind???? j/k

well i think some responses here arent giving guys enough credit and putting them down to be sex-mad, shallow arses. but i think that may apply to some but not all. i dont think it comes down to just looks. blokes cant be THAT shallow, surely?

anyway i think its a silly question because at the end of the day it really does depend on the people.

joePC

Can men and women be just friends?

Yes only if the women is ugly :eek: , even then the bear gogles can get in the way;)

Thanks JoePC

blondie83

Well my college course is dominated by guys, so if guys and girls couldn't be "just" friends I'd have a real problem! Seriously though, I'm friends with quite a few guys and it's grand. I've only ever had them come onto me when they were drunk, but I didn't mind - took it as a compliment:D

tibor

See: The Ladder Theory .

Johnny Versace

It really depends on how ugly the friend is, what your opinion of sex is, and what your definition of a friend is.

I have slept with a few of my female friends, but I still consider them friends. It was just... drunken fun.

In my mind they're just friends, not lovers or girlfriends or anything like that.

SheroN

you're the dude though, dude.

Johnny Versace

I'm not off topic!!

Originally posted by SheroN
you're the dude though, dude.

adonis

i think there is a difference that a man would have with a man, compared with the one a man would have with a woman.

so it depends on what defininition of friendship you are arguing about

i find nearly all women remotely attractive, so i have never had a proper friendship without a hidden agenda.

savemejebus

i think that women become more attractive, the longer you know them, because you begin to see the whole package and things that might have put you off before (big nose, freckles, annoying laugh) kinda fade or are compensated by better aspects of the personality, so in the end unless you are locked into a serious relationship i think it's inevitable that guys become attracted to friends that are girls

Lainey

Originally posted by savemejebus
i think that women become more attractive, the longer you know them, because you begin to see the whole package and things that might have put you off before (big nose, freckles, annoying laugh) kinda fade or are compensated by better aspects of the personality, so in the end unless you are locked into a serious relationship i think it's inevitable that guys become attracted to friends that are girls

i think your spot on there.. same other way around..

Explosive_Cornflake

Originally posted by tibor
See: The Ladder Theory .

Great link. Really good reading.

Sleepy

Yes, guys and girls can be friends. I've plenty of female friends I wouldn't be particularly interested in sleeping with. That said, most female friends I'd be closest too, I would go to bed with if there were no repurcussions. That said, most female friends I'd be closest to are exes. That said. I'm confused now!


When you become extremely good friends with a member of the opposite sex, boundaries can begin to blur if you find each other remotely sexualy attractive. As long as no one gets hurt, where's the harm?

Kingp35

i think that women become more attractive, the longer you know them, because you begin to see the whole package and things that might have put you off before (big nose, freckles, annoying laugh) kinda fade or are compensated by better aspects of the personality, so in the end unless you are locked into a serious relationship i think it's inevitable that guys become attracted to friends that are girls

Nah sorry i dont believe this. My best frined in the world happens to be a girl. We have been best friends since we were about 6 and that was 13 years ago and we are still best friends. She is a really good looking girl but i have never been attracted to her coz we are good friends. We have never been with each other or anything like that and we never will. We are "Just Good friends". Guys and girls can just be good friends.Along with her i have a few other really good friends that are girls that im not attracted too.

Guys and girls can just be friends why the hell couldnt they be??!!!

Rabies

Originally posted by tibor
See: The Ladder Theory .

Criticism:You're just bitter.
Answer:Maybe I am. But ladder theory made me that way, my bitterness did not make ladder theory. Attack the theory, not the person behind it. And why does everyone always say I'm bitter just because 99.999% of chicks are bitches?

mocar

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=57137

still dont know why it was closed

Evil_Bilbo

Men and women can only be friends if they are already going out with other people. Then the whole "trying to bate into the woman" thing (usually) dosent get in the way. for example, a fella can be great mates with his freind's bird without wanting anything else.

If both are single, the woman thinks they are just friends, but the guy is looking for more. Ladies - do any of you have any single straight male friends from when ye were single that didnt try it on with you (even if they were very drunk at the time).

Heck, I know I played the friend card to get close to some women. Then again, I also played the drunken fool card many a time aswell.

So in short, if both are single, then they can be just friends, but the boyos will want more. If both are not single, they could be the best of friends.

Seraphina

depends on the person really.
honestly i have probably thought about all of my male friends in a sexual way at least once. and if they were offered to me on a plate (and i was single) i cant honestly say i'd say no to all of them.
some of them obviously, for various reasons. you can never really know how you'd react in a situation like that though.

KlodaX

what a strange survey ... I had to stop half ways through.. is that supposed to be serious?

Men and Women can be friends ... but if you put anyone in a room with someone long enough .. something is bound to happen.

But I have good friends that I haven't slept with for years... not that I slept with them years ago ... we've been friends years...

and as Johnny said ... sometimes ... involving alcohol ... something more might happen .. but fu*k it ... you'll just end up being friends again in the morning!

I'd say it depends greatly on the two people who are friends

strawberry

Originally posted by savemejebus
i think that women become more attractive, the longer you know them, because you begin to see the whole package and things that might have put you off before (big nose, freckles, annoying laugh) kinda fade or are compensated by better aspects of the personality, so in the end unless you are locked into a serious relationship i think it's inevitable that guys become attracted to friends that are girls

That is so true, for both sexes. I think when you get older you begin to realise that the people you enjoy going out with most are also the kind of people you want as friends and vice versa. Its no good going out with someone you're incredibly attracted to sexually if you don't know what to say or do with them when you're not shagging

Doodee

Azezil once told me before that for guys and girls can't be friends as there is always the sex type thing involved.

However, i do believe that after a certain period of time it is quite possible to be a friend with someone and not see them in a sexual nature.but yes, I do think it is a stumbling block when you are only developing a friendship with some to not see sex as a possibility.

Its just so hard for us Beutiful people *sniffle*

BabyEater

A fella can be just a friend with a women if she is dog ugly otherwise i believe he will always want to get up on her. Thats the way I see it .

Ryo Hazuki

Of course they can. What kind of a dumbass question is that....?
Why couldnt they be?
Honestly....My god like...




Im just sickened now....

Right im logging off....

Red Alert

Well my current girlfriend was a friend for the past few months, but there was always something simmering there. I think you can have a non-sexual relationship with someone of the opposite sex, but especially if the 2 of u haven't been with anyone in a while it can turn romantic quite quickly.

SheroN

As Chris Rock said:
"I don't have female friends, I just know women I haven't ****ed yet"

But yes, men and women can be friends.

The Song Thrush

The rule is:

Never be friends with a woman you find attractive.

stormkeeper

Originally posted by peachypants
what was with the first half of that survey???

should've been called "how sexist and outdated are you?"

It's a valid section. It helps determine how men feel they should act around women. Obviously, it would be seemingly sexist, how else would the survey work?