worst, most suckiest film in all existence..??

CivilServant

Hellraiser 3 had one good scene :cool:

Lu[ifer

xxx
mr deeds

Chinafoot

Gothika.....what a load of w@nk!

also anything with Steven-12 chins-Segal!

12 chins "she's russian"
obligatory rookie cop "how do you know?"
12 chins "her cheekbones"

give me a break!

Superman

I was in my video store and the clerk actually recomended 13 (the **** girly flick) to somebody!

I spoke out and recomened somethin else.... he gave me a very very distaining look !

yeah knock off is shit, its crazy how some of the scenes don't even link, suprise suprise it was on RTE last week.
Alot of newer action films are useless, like they were ok in the 80's, cause it was the 80's and explosions were cool (or "rad" as they said back then)!

I think its safe to say nearly if not all, yes all, Liz Hurley films are crap. How anyone thought it would be a good idea to make "bedazzled" is beyond me. And all those very repetative Hugh Grant romantic comedies, the only film I can sit through with him in it is "mickey Blue Eye's".

RuggieBear

Well...i watched Whalerider the other day and words cannot really describe how underwhelmed i was by that movie. I found it boring, predictable and how that little girl got an oscar nomination is beyond a joke...i've seen better episodes of glenroe...

But i suppose the worst, most suckiest film in all existence would have to be the thin red line....i found that to be utter pretentious wankology and boring to boot.

p

Pepe LeFrits

Originally posted by Superman
I think its safe to say nearly if not all, yes all, Liz Hurley films are crap. How anyone thought it would be a good idea to make "bedazzled" is beyond me.

I thought the first three quarters of it were very good. The 'god loves us' last quarter is better forgotten though.

The Matrix sequels stand out as films i've seen recently that were really, really bad. Pearl Harbour too.

Cactus Col

Beaches .... Steel Magnolias .... Coyote Ugly .... Glimmer ....

Wacker

I really liked both Ali and the Thin Red Line actually, and I own the DVDs of both.

I could see why people would dislike The Thin Red Line, but Ali? I don't see anythging in that strikes me as hateable. Is that a word?

LoneGunM@n

Without doubt, the worst movies I have ever had the displeasure to watch were:

28 Days [Sandra Bullock] - otherhalf wanted to see it! Note to self, stop letting her pick flicks (there have been more)!
Spiceworld - I've thrown up more enteraining things than that flick :mad:
Beaches - Oh dear god, did any1 else want to find Better Midler & feed her a bullet?

LoneGunM@n

Originally posted by Gideon
Pacific Heights

I have to say I really liked that movie ... I thought it was one of Michael Keaton's better performances :dunno:

munster rucker

Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones - i still haven't been able to sit through the whole thing.
And while it's fresh in my mind from last night - that remake of Battlestar Galactica is diabolical:mad:

invincibleirish

dreamcatcher.........oh man i hate that movie........

Karl Hungus

I had the shame of seeing Mr. Nanny in the cinema when I was a youngin' with my little sister.

Horrid nightmare of a film tbh.

byte

Originally posted by Hydromonkey
Knock Off - Jean Claud Van Dam film about counterfeit jeans. So horribly bad its funny, but i'm into my crap films for comedy value

OMG! I had the misfortune of watching that film of one night some years ago. It was woeful. :mad:

Nick_oliveri

Rob zombie- House of a thousand corpses.
Whats with all these mutilated redneck movies?

Zaph

Gone in 60 Seconds - the only time I've ever come out of a cinema and wanted to throttle the guy behind the desk until he gave me my money back.

de5p0i1er

This will never end.

Clinical Waste

Moulin Rouge.

What a big steamy pile of poo that was.

Wacker

I seem to be playing Devil's Advocate a fair bit here. I liked the Battlestar Gallactica remake. But to each their own.

Kêrmêttê

Monsters Ball...
Halle Berry got an oscar for gettin nekkid?? wtf??
I spose it's all riviting stuff for blokes but being a girlie myself I was bored senseless.

rabbitinlights

Ghost dog.

I want those 2 hours of my life back.

dogs

I would gladly watch every film mentioned already in this thread while having hot needles shoved into my eyes before I'd go through the agony of Seabiscuit again.

Unfortunatley, it was a first date thing too - I couldnt leave . Unsuprisingly, I didn't meet her again.

TOMSIE

surprised nobody mentioned these 2 Mission to mars made me want to kill myself and the X files movie was also painfully bad

unklefiction

White Mans Burden - John Travolta has a lot to thank Quentin tarantino for if this was his efforts beforehand truly truly awful.

joe_chicken

Originally posted by rabbitinlights
Ghost dog.

I want those 2 hours of my life back.

Agreed!

Ghost Dog = Pants

(dont let anyone tell you otherwise!!!)

what particularly annoyed me was the way he kept taking out his gun!!!

and Forrest Whittaker (although a good actor) isnt a convincing gun wielding ninja

RossFixxxed

Here's some movies I really hated. I know a some of these are well liked movies (Kill Bill) but to each their own. If you like em, kick ass.

Matrix: Reloaded
Kill Bill (Admittedly I haven't seen volume 2, but I think I'll skip)
Great Expectations (The Paltrow remake god almighty awful)
Moulin Rouge
Cube 2 (AMAZINGLY bad)
Star Wars Episodes 1 and 2
Long Time Dead
Hulk
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (It's not quite Once Upon a Time, or Fong Sai Yuk, or the awesome might of Om Bak(Martial arts fans watch this, it might also be called Muai Thai Warrior, the guy is AMAZING, no wires))
Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
The 6th Day
Godzilla
Lost in Space (oh man)
Tomb Raider 1 and 2
Blair Witch
Batman 3 and 4
The Crow 2 (LOVED the original)
MAGNOLIA (tedioius beyond all human tolerance)
Mortal Kombat 2
Any video game movie
Mad Max 3 Beyond Thunderdome (Tina Turner?)
Black Mask
Schindler's List (totally cynical and heartless)
A.I. (ohhhh lordy the ending)
Signs
The Cell
Vanilla Sky



A few that I love that got mentioned here:

Dude Where's My Car? (I LOVE this movie. Great stupid silly stoner film, gives me a good laugh any time)
A Beautiful Mind (I really liked it!)

KISS OF THE DRAGON one of my favourite movies! It totally turned me onto so many amazing action movies. I truly love the quirky sense of humour, Richard is the most evil guy ever and the fight scenes are awesome. So so awesome. But hey that's my kinda thing.

::::::::::::::: Tangent ::::::::::::::::::::
The one thing I HATE is people getting into stupid arguments about this. Someone here hated Kiss of the Dragon, that's cool, I love it. I can't get over the retards on IMDB and elsewhere that get so nasty and personal and righteous. Saying "**** off and watch <insert Donnie Darko or Fight Club here> and come back and talk to me aobut cinema." (I liked Donnie Darko, thought Fight Club was great, these are the 2 that always get mentioned on IMDB as being the most intellignet movies someone can watch). It's amazing. I like anything from pretentious french movies, david lynch right to Rambo (LOVE rambo 1, 2 and 3). I despise that arrogant pseudo-intellectual crap that these people spout. A good movie is one you walk out of thinking "man that was great!" Easy as that. Thanks for the rant!

joe_chicken

Originally posted by RossFixxxed
::::::::::::::: Tangent ::::::::::::::::::::
The one thing I HATE is people getting into stupid arguments about this. Someone here hated Kiss of the Dragon, that's cool, I love it. I can't get over the retards on IMDB and elsewhere that get so nasty and personal and righteous. Saying "**** off and watch <insert Donnie Darko or Fight Club here> and come back and talk to me aobut cinema." (I liked Donnie Darko, thought Fight Club was great, these are the 2 that always get mentioned on IMDB as being the most intellignet movies someone can watch). It's amazing. I like anything from pretentious french movies, david lynch right to Rambo (LOVE rambo 1, 2 and 3). I despise that arrogant pseudo-intellectual crap that these people spout. A good movie is one you walk out of thinking "man that was great!" Easy as that. Thanks for the rant!

I give that rant 10/10!

minority

Fear and loathing in Los Vegas.
Any David Lynch movie
Donnie Darko

Venom

Hell comes to frogtown
Species 1+2
Jaws 3+
Nightmare on elm st 3+
Hellraoser 2+
Fist of the northstar
Any movie with Blonde in the title
Friday the 13th 3+
Any movie with j-lo

evad_lhorg

Originally posted by minority
Fear and loathing in Los Vegas.
Any David Lynch movie
Donnie Darko

are you mad? donnie darko is one of the best films ive seen in a long time



Murder at devils glen
mission to mars
spice girls movie
street fighter
Duel(stephen spielberg film that sucked so bad)
i could go on probably

Giblet

Originally posted by evad_lhorg
Duel

Are YOU mad! Classic film!

joe_chicken

Originally posted by Venom
Any movie with j-lo

what about Out of Sight.... i liked that movie

smoke.me.a.kipper

peaches
titanic
tomb raider 1+2
blair witch2
spiceworld
turbo - power rangers film
home alone 3+4
not quite human2
mulan
mario brothers movie
superman 3+4

BEAT

the worst movie I ever sat through expecting "something" to happen..waiting and waiting and waiting and nothing ever did happen...
About Schmidt with Jack Nicholson.
I hated that movie...it just dragged and dragged and wasted 2 hours of my life!
I waitied iut out hoping it would get better and it never, never did.:mad:

the worst movie I ever sat through expecting "something" to happen..waiting and waiting and waiting and nothing ever did happen...
About Schmidt with Jack Nicholson.the worst movie I ever sat through expecting "something" to happen..waiting and waiting and waiting and nothing ever did happen...

thats one scary film. Kathy Bates nude. AGGGHHHH, I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

evad_lhorg

Originally posted by Giblet
Are YOU mad! Classic film!

whats classic about it? its so boring and has a crap ending

minority

Originally posted by evad_lhorg
whats classic about it? its so boring and has a crap ending

You must be talking about Donnie Darko

Rabies

Freddy got fingered

embee

1)Titanic.

It really beggars belief that a film as bad as this can win the same amount of Oscars as Lord Of The Rings : The Return Of The King or Ben Hur.

2)Stargate.

I fell asleep in the cinema for half an hour during this. I woke up and still knew exactly what was going to happen.

3)Spin The Bottle

After seeing Pathways to Freedom, I was expecting this to be so much better than it was.

4)Scary Movie I, II & III.

Words fail me.

5)Swordfish

The "highlight" of this was apparently when Halle Berry flashed her tits. It was about computers, hackers, money. Boring, boring, boring.

Kazu

Kill Bill 1

Mighty_Mouse

I've so many. But "The Last Samuri" OMG- wanted to tear my hair out!
Oh ya and "Thin Red Line" !!!!!!!!!!ARRRRGH

Ted_striker

What I cant understand is that this thread has gone on for 5 pages and nobody as far as I can see has mentioned The Sweetest Thing .Absolute cocksnot .I always recommend it to everyone I hate .

kahlua

The League of Extroardinary Gentlemen

It made baby Jesus cry.

Ellesmere

Stevan Segal's sadistic environmentalist action flick 'On Deadly Ground'.

vega_AH64

The hills have eyes..

one of the ****tiest movies ever.

oh tit_anic. what a pile of sham ****e.

jill_valentine

Windtalkers remains the most soul sucking agony of my entire life. I wake up shrieking in cold sweats after nightmares that just consist of me sitting and watching the film again. I've a big scar where a flowing headwound was left unstitched. I sat my Leaving Cert Irish moments after breaking a finger. I once had my hand locked in a car boot. I was attacked by a dog. I took a vertical slice to the head from a hurley without a helmet.

I would gladly do all these things again, at once, while on fire, barefoot on broken glass, with large men hurling abuse and rocks at me, rather than watch Windtalkers again. Every second is a gurning ego trip for all involved. Even though its directed by John Woo (John WOO!) the action sequences are boring. The same five extras run in a little circle around the only tank they could afford. Then we see some Japanese guys speaking to each other in a shed. Then there's some stock footage of a ship/ cannon/ plane and some harmless looking pyrotechnics kill the 5 faceless extras, no matter how far away they go off. Nicholas Cage gurns for a few seconds and then saves everybody. Repeat this about 7 times, have Christian Slater in it for no apparent reason, and stop just long enought to have the most jaw droppingly stupid scene EVER! (If anybody can explain how Nicholas Cage's character only went deaf in one ear after being completely blown up, I'd like to hear it.)

The film is so bad, it actually feels like a genuine parody of the traditional gung ho war flick, were it not for Cage's damn earnest gurning. Every single scene he has an expression like there's a small animal trying to eat its way out of his head.

The problem is, my brother is not only a big WWII nut, he's also bigger than me. So I've watched the damn thing repeatedly.

The only film I hate nearly as much is Underworld, but just talking about that sends me spiralling off into a dangerous depression...

tman

Originally posted by jill_valentine
The only film I hate nearly as much is Underworld, but just talking about that sends me spiralling off into a dangerous depression...

ah come on!
vampires, werewolves and Kate Beckinswotsit... what's not to like?:)

evad_lhorg

just remembered


waterworld
cut throat island

jill_valentine

I was going to post a link to Rod Hiltons' Abridged scripts, but its down at the moment. So here it is. Its lengthy, but I think it pretty much sums up everything bad about Underworld.

UNDERWORLD: THE ABRIDGED SCRIPT™

By Rod Hilton



FADE IN:

EXT. POORLY LIT CITY

KATE BECKINSALE is perched atop a huge tower, being very
GOTH.

KATE BECKINSALE (V.O.)
I am a vampire, one of many
involved in an underground war.
When not killing werewolves, I go to
raves that play industrial rock, buy
new trenchcoats, rip holes in my
mesh stockings, and post to my
livejournal.

She spots some WEREWOLVES who are following SCOTT SPEEDMAN,
and CHASES them into the subway.

INT. SUBWAY

A badly choreographed, horribly shot gunfight ensues.

RANDOM VAMPIRE
****! The camera is moving around
so suddenly and shakily I can't tell
what's going on!

He is shot with a GLOWING BLUE BULLET.

RANDOM VAMPIRE
Gark! Bury me with my collection of
Anne Rice novels!
(dies)

The gunfight continues, and it is very LOUD and therefore
GOOD. Just when it looks like it might end, it CONTINUES
instead. Eventually, it stops. KATE goes back to VAMPIRE
HEADQUARTERS.

INT. BIG GOTH MANSION

KATE BECKINSALE enters the mansion, pushing past a bunch of
VAMPIRES writing POETRY and practicing looking SULLEN. She
goes to THE WEAPON VAMPIRE GUY

KATE BECKINSALE
Random Vampire got shot with this
and it killed him.

WEAPON VAMPIRE GUY
(investigating)
Wow. It's daylight, compressed
into bullet form!

Before the AUDIENCE MEMBERS have time to leave, SHANE
BROLLY enters.

SHANE BROLLY
I am the lead vampire and I'm a son
of a bitch. I love you Kate
Beckinsale, but I also hate you.

KATE BECKINSALE
Sorry, I'm falling for Scott
Speedman, a human!

She leaves to find him.

INT. SCOTT SPEEDMAN'S APARTMENT

SCOTT SPEEDMAN enters and is ACCOSTED by KATE BECKINSALE.

KATE BECKINSALE
Why were those werewolves after
you?

SCOTT SPEEDMAN
Those what?

KATE BECKINSALE
You're caught in the middle of a
war that has been raging for
hundreds of years. The battle is
between vampires and werewolves, and
now the werewolves are after you as
part of their plan to rise up
against the vampires.

SCOTT SPEEDMAN
(shocked)
Oh my god.

KATE BECKINSALE
Surprised?

SCOTT SPEEDMAN
No, I just can't believe you said
that with a straight face. I mean,
holy ****.

Suddenly, MICHAEL SHEEN enters.

MICHAEL SHEEN
I am a werewolf!
(bites Scott)
And now you are too!

There is a brief gunfight that goes nowhere. Eventually,
KATE and SCOTT escape.

INT. SECLUDED DOCTOR'S OFFICE OR SOMETHING

KATE handcuffs SCOTT to a chair.

KATE BECKINSALE
I'm sorry. You will turn into a
werewolf, so I am doing this for
your protection.

SCOTT SPEEDMAN
Wait so, for my protection, you're
handcuffing me to a chair so that
the legion of werewolves coming
after me will easily be able to
capture me because I am unable to
run.

KATE BECKINSALE
Look, we've spent like an hour of
this movie just running around
trying to find people. I'll need
you again, let's not torture the
audience.

SCOTT SPEEDMAN
I think it's too late for that.

KATE LEAVES.

INT. BIG GOTH MANSION

KATE revives BILL NIGHY, the head vampire. He looks
****ING RIDICULOUS.

KATE BECKINSALE
Oh my god, THIS is the special
effect for you as you get your power
back? This is awful.

BILL NIGHY
Kate, you have gone against the
chain of command in the vamp--

KATE BECKINSALE
Holy crap, have you seen yourself
talk? Are these scenes supposed to
be taken seriously?

BILL NIGHY
Get out! You're banished from the
mansion!

KATE RETURNS to the DOCTOR'S OFFICE.

KATE BECKINSALE
Scott, I've got to get you out of
here.

SCOTT is captured, so KATE will have to go searching for
him again. There is a GUNFIGHT and it SUCKS. Eventually,
everyone winds up in the sewers.

INT. SEWERS

MICHAEL SHEEN injects SCOTT SPEEDMAN with some crap.

SCOTT SPEEDMAN
So, what the hell is going on it
here? That other werewolf tried to
explain it earlier, but his accent
was incomprehensible.

MICHAEL SHEEN
Shane Brolly, the lead vampire guy,
has been secretly working with me to
allow me to find you. Because of
some crap about descendants and
bloodlines, if you are bitten by
both vampire and werewolf, you
become a hybrid, which would allow
us to finally end this war. The war
started when Bill Nighly killed my
girlfriend, his daughter, for being
with me, because he doesn't want the
two species to mix.

KATE BECKINSALE arrives. Also, MICHAEL SHEEN is shot with
a bullet that kills werewolves.

SCOTT SPEEDMAN
Kate! I know how the war started! I
finally read the script!

KATE BECKINSALE
There's a script? I thought this
whole movie was the product of
special effects guys and
cinematographers.

Suddenly, SHANE BROLLY arrives.

SHANE BROLLY
Hello, Scott. I have betrayed the
vampire order specifically so that
Michael could create the
werewolf/vampire hybrid, and now
that it has finally happened, I will
attempt to kill you, despite the
fact that such a thing is grossly
inconsistent with my actions thus
far.

He does.

MICHAEL SHEEN
(not dead)
Even though I was shot with a
bullet that always kills werewolves,
I am not dead for some reason.
Kate, if you bite Scott, it will
turn him into a cross between a
vampire, a werewolf, and a member of
the Blue Man Group.
(dies)

She does. SCOTT transforms into the ULTIMATE RIDICULOUS
CREATURE IN A RIDICULOUS MOVIE.

BILL NIGHY
You are an abomination! I will
destroy you using my Vampire Geezer
powers!

They FIGHT. BILL is about to win when suddenly, KATE
BECKINSALE picks up a sword and jumps to the other side of
the room, nowhere near BILL. When she lands, she is holding
a perfectly clean sword.

BILL NIGHY
Uh oh. I hope you didn't do what I
think you did. Let me just stand up
very straight so that I am in the
very center of the frame..
(half of his face slides
off)
Damn! I hate this shot! Why are
movies doing this all the time now?
This isn't how it works, people, ask
a doctor!
(dies)

KATE looks at her sword, which now has blood on it.

SCOTT SPEEDMAN
Hooray! Soon the war will be over,
leaving vampires and werewolves to
be friends forever more.

KATE BECKINSALE
Let's go buy long velvet
trenchcoats and listen to The
Smiths!

END


A damn sight more entertaining than the movie, in fact.:D

Sleepy

Some of the movies mentioned in here absolutely mystify me but then again, not everyone's taste can be as perfect as mine

Originally posted by Kêrmêttê
Monsters Ball...
Halle Berry got an oscar for gettin nekkid?? wtf??

No, she got an Oscar for being black and playing the "if you don't give me the Oscar the Academy is rascist" card.

Now, truly the most turgid piece of dog**** I've ever watched: "Happiness". Now listen up Todd Solondz: depravity for the sake of depravity is not art. How can a director take such an impressive cast and produce such utter ****?