Smackdown Spoilers

Ph3n0m

nearly forgot about this boys

We get a recap of Eddie Guerrero passing out last week, and then Mr. Angle appears on the screen saying that despite what happened, Eddie will be wrestling tonight on Smackdown.

Match 1: Rob Van Dam & Rey Mysterio vs. The Dudley Boyz

Good match, on par with their encounter at Judgment Day. My question is, why did anyone bother ordering the PPV when they've shown most of the matches that happened at the PPV on free WWE TV in the last week or so. Half-way during the match, Paul Heyman finally made an appearance and took a seat at ringside. Near the end though, Heyman jumped the barrier when Mysterio was going for the West Coast Pop and yanked him off the ropes. On the outside, Bubba slammed Mysterio into the announce table, and then sent him back into the ring where D-Von finished Rey off for the win.

Winners: The Dudley Boyz

After the break, The Dudleys are celebrating in their locker room when Heyman enters. Paul asks them if they're happy with the win, but when they say "yes", Heyman slaps D-Von and attempts the same on Bubba, but Bubba blocks it and starts choking Heyman out. After Bubba demands to know what the hell is going on, Paul tells them that they shouldn't care if they won one match or not. They've been winning for 8 years, but it has never lead to either of them getting a title shot or working main events. Paul tells Bubba & D-Von that they need to select a "victim" to make an impact on tonight, even Heyman himself.

Michael Cole is in the ring and decides to kill everyone's hope that SD might improve after Judgment Day by announcing that John "Bradshaw" Layfield will face "Latino Heat" Eddie Guerrero for the WWE Championship at The Great American Bash. God, they just don't give up, do they? They did the same thing with Scott Steiner when he debuted in the WWE. Despite a horrible match with HHH at the Royal Rumble, they still gave him another title shot at the following month's PPV. JBL arrives in his limo and talks about how wealthy he is, and how he's going to win the WWE Championship. He does inform everyone that Mr. Angle has allowed JBL to pick any type of gimmick match that he wants for the Bash, but he needs to think about it so he'll tell everyone next week. Oh, I'm sure everyone will be sitting by their TV sets waiting with anticipation. It will probably be something stupid, like a hardcore match so there can't be any DQ's or countouts.

Match 2: Booker T vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

So, what exactly does this do for Booker's career? Decent match, but it was mainly a squash with Scotty only getting in a few minutes of offense. Booker managed to pick up the win, and after the match, he announced that he would face the Undertaker next week in a rematch from Judgment Day and that he's not afraid. The Undertaker's music starts and we get the normal "spooky" effects, but Booker still isn't scared. Taker sets off pyro in all four ringposts (he must have picked up that trick from Kane) and finally Booker admits that Taker is a little scary. However, it still won't stop Booker from beating "The Deadman" next week.

Winner: Booker T

We get another video promo for Mordecai, who doesn't really say anything of interest except that he's chosen his first "sinner" to be offered up as a sacrifice.

Match 3: Non-Title Match: "Latino Heat" Eddie Guerrero vs. Danny Basham (with Doug Basham)

This match doesn't last very long, as Mr. Angle rises up from Rey Mysterio's stage entrance and stops the match. Kurt is under the impression that Eddie's passing out of last week was nothing more than a ploy to fake an injury and sue Angle. Kurt says that Eddie will not be wrestling again until he signs a waiver that says Kurt isn't legally responsible for anything that happens to Guerrero. If I was Eddie, I wouldn't sign that waiver until the WWE took JBL out of the #1 contender slot. Also, is this the best they can do for the WWE Champion? They are basically using the whole Austin/McMahon angle again, where Vince wouldn't allow Austin to wrestle after his neck got injured from Owen Hart's tombstone piledriver until he signed a waiver. Also, did the Bashams piss someone off because they haven't had a decent chance at getting ahead since they lost the tag titles and Shaniqua a few months back. They are a good tag team, and all they need is a gimmick change and a push to really produce but it looks like the WWE isn't bothering to give them anything other than lots of points on their jobber cards.

Winner: No Contest

Match 4: Spike Dudley & Torrie Wilson vs. Jamie Noble & Dawn Marie

Gotta love matches where the only past history to build upon is Torrie & Dawn's old feud from 2003. Last time I checked, Spike & Noble weren't having issues with each other. Not a terrible match, but the SD women's division is in such a bad shape right now. Since Miss Jackie & Sable are mainly valets, SD is stuck having to keep sticking Torrie in there against Dawn. Personally, I'd just phase out the women's wrestling on SD and have Torrie & Dawn Marie return to being managers. The end came when Spike hit the Acid Drop on Noble, which caused Jamie to fall right on top of Dawn Marie. Spike made the cover and got the win.

Winners: Spike Dudley & Torrie Wilson

Meanwhile, Rico & Charlie Haas are checking out Miss Jackie's bikini for next week's "Summer Breakout Bikini Contest". While you assume that this would mean T&A from Jackie, we actually end up getting Rico in a skimpy speedo while Haas tells Rico how the color is all wrong for him.

Elsewhere, John Cena enters Angle's office and gets yelled at because it was John's idea to have the Bash be free for all of the U.S. servicemen/women. Apparently, Kurt was going to announce that very idea this week. Cena starts ripping on Angle, but Kurt fires back saying that he'll be proud to see Rene Dupree win the U.S. Championship here tonight.

Meanwhile, Chavo Guerrero is walking through the halls when he comes up to a door that says something to the effect of "Chavo Classic: WWE Cruiserweight Champion". Chavo Classic was awesome here, totally letting the title win go to his head. Chavo asks Classic about his first title defense tonight, but Classic isn't worried because the CW division is going "old school" tonight, and Guerrero should head out there now to announce him as the greatest Cruiserweight Champion of all time.

After the break, Chavo Guerrero appears and does introduce his father but ends up calling him the "World's Greatest Dad".

Match 5: World Wrestling Entertainment Cruiserweight Championship: Chavo Classic (Champion, with Chavo Guerrero) vs. Akio

Decent match, with Classic going "old school" and Akio pulling off some nice high-risk moves. However, the end comes when Chavo hits Akio with a tornado DDT on the outside while the ref wasn't looking. Guerrero rolled Akio back into the ring, and it was easy pickings for Classic, who made the cover and got the win to retain the gold. See, I enjoy Classic holding the title a hell of a lot better than Jacqueline holding the gold.

Winner: Chavo Classic (Still WWE Cruiserweight Champion)

Meanwhile, The Dudleys are shoving someone into a truck after apparently attacking them. Bubba yells "That's right, that's right Paul!", and then both Dudleys get into the car and drive off. The camera pans to find Heyman walking up to where they were and picking up the Undertaker's urn. Obviously, it was Paul Bearer in the trunk, which means that the Dudleys will probably interfere in the Taker/Booker match next week.

Match 6: World Wrestling Entertainment United States Championship Lumberjack Match: John Cena (Champion) vs. Rene Dupree

Decent match between the two, on par with what they've been doing for the last few weeks. The lumberjacks played a big part in the match, with the heels beating up Cena, while the faces did the same to Dupree. At one point, Rico freaked Dupree out by kissing him on the lips while Rene was on the outside. The end comes quickly as Cena hits an F-U out of nowhere for the win to retain the title. As the show fades out, Cena celebrates with all of the face lumberjacks.

Winner: John Cena (Still WWE U.S. Champion)

Hanza

I already posted the smaller version

Never mind. This was a better review anyway...

Hanza