Some Quotes from the Tinkerman

The Muppet

With all the vacant manegerial positions In The premiership spoken for it looks like claudio will be moving on, Here is some of his most humourous quotes withe the funniest of all left until last.


"If it is the case that you need just a first 11 and three or four more players, then why did Christopher Columbus sail to India to discover America?" - Why indeed?

"Football managers are like a parachutist. At times it doesn't open. Here, it is an umbrella. You understand, Mary Poppins?" - Nope. No. Not at all. Sorry Dick.

"Damien is Damien. When I don't put him in the squad my mother, who's 84, asks 'why isn't Damien playing?' She kills me about it and that's true" - Mrs Ranieri has a thing for little Irish men.

"My only technical adviser is my mother. When I told her that Damien had injured his shoulder again, she said 'oh no!' Who should replace him? I will call her before the game to ask." - This is getting worrying.

"He's a crazy man" - Ranieri on Ranieri.

"They showed good stamina and good vitamins" - The Arsenal win explained.

"Before you kill me, you call me the 'dead man walking'. I must buy you an espresso. But only a little one - I am Scottish!"

"Two years ago I watched Carlton play for the reserves and I saw two animals in him - one was a rabbit and the other a lion. I want to see that lion come out in him more often" - Ranieri on Carlton Cole.

"He is my new little lion. And I like lions" - Ranieri on Hernan Crespo.

"He is like a shark, like Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink" - Ranieri on Mutu. But then...

"I once said Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink is like a shark and Carlton Cole like a lion. Well, Adrian Mutu is another born predator. In fact, Mutu is like a snake" - Ranieri changes his mind and completes his zoo.

"I am happy when our fans are happy, when our players are happy and our chairman is on the moon" - Well, when your chairman's Ken Bates...

"One coach was training a player's hair, and another was training another part of his body" - Now that's what we call the personal touch.

"One beautiful day, a radiant day, Mr Abramovich introduced himself to me and said I should put a shopping list together" - Claudio Ranieri. Poet.

"When I talk to the players I speak first of all in English, then I say 'sorry, now I will speak in Spanish, or Italian. Then on the touchline I speak another language so the other manager doesn't understand what I am saying!" - Explaining it all.

"When are you coming, Sven?" - Ranieri's words of greeting to Sven when the two met at Highbury last season.

"I can't change now. I'm like Frank Sinatra - I always do it my way. I told the players everything I did in the Monaco game was wrong. I changed things to win the match - but we lost and I was thinking "Oh f*** Claudio, why, why? Bad Tinkerman!"

"I think Veron is the best midfielder in the world" - The funniest of the lot.

NightStrike

Heh he did have some classics

He'll be missed in English football I think!

Big Ears

If he does go to Valencia the all the best of luck to him , if he dosent then all the best of luck to him .

Pigman II

I'll always think the funniest thing Ranieri ever said was something he didn't say.

It was after one of his first matches when he tried to explain his sides collapse in a game v Manchester City and spoke for the best part of a minute through an ad-hoc interpreter, who finally proclaimed to a waiting reporter: "It's a game of two halves".

I don't think Claudio ever recovered from that tbh.