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Some funny IRC stuff

  • 25-06-2004 5:12pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 442 ✭✭


    <JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
    <JonJonB> Let's see the results...

    <JonJonB> "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
    <JonJonB> "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

    <JonJonB> A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

    <JonJonB> "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
    <JonJonB> "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

    <JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

    <JonJonB> "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

    <JonJonB> The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

    <JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

    <JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

    <JonJonB> Ok
    <JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof
    <JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
    <JonJonB> "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
    <melusine > O_______O
    <JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

    <JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

    <JonJonJonB> 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.


    t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
    BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
    BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
    BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
    BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
    BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
    BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
    BlackAdder> IN FACT
    BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
    BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
    BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
    *** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
    *** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
    t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
    CRCError> right
    heartless> Right.
    r3v> right

    <NES> lol
    <NES> I download something from Napster
    <NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
    <NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
    <NES> "getting my song back ****er"


    <anamexis> oh man
    <anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
    --> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
    <anamexis> and it exploded
    <anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
    <anamexis> but I got it away just in time
    <-- Beefpile has quit (sick ****ers)
    <anamexis> :<


    <ckx> women ask for it
    <ckx> they act all old and mature
    <ckx> and then you stick your cock up their ass
    <ckx> and they get all bitchy
    <ckx> "I"M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!"


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 448 ✭✭Agent Orange


    Good stuff, find the rest on http://bash.org/?top


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,309 ✭✭✭Kazu


    pure class :D:D:D:D:D:D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,136 ✭✭✭Pugsley


    Originally posted by Hello Kitty
    t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
    BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
    BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
    BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
    BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
    BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
    BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
    BlackAdder> IN FACT
    BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
    BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
    BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
    *** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
    *** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
    t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
    CRCError> right
    heartless> Right.
    r3v> right
    That one is bloody hillarious :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 529 ✭✭✭Ebonyks


    yeah thats a good one

    but

    why is there a spelling mistake on line 13? "by" not "my". Not that it matters.


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