GAA quotes

Mighty_Mouse

Though I'd give ye lads a laugh. Most of them been heard before but theyre classic all together

GAA Quotes
1. I love Cork so much that if I caught one of their hurlers in bed with my missus, I'd tiptoe downstairs and make him a cup of tea"-
Joe Lynch, actor.
2. "We've won one All-Ireland in a row" -- Wexford Fan in
1996.
3. "The toughest match I ever heard off was the 1935
All-Ireland Semi-Final. After 6 minutes, the ball ricocheted off a post and
went into the stand. The pulling continued relentlessly and it was 22
minutes before any of the players noticed the ball was missing" - Michael
Smith.
4. "Sylvie Linnane would start a riot in a graveyard" --
Tipp fan on the Galway legend.
5. "I'm not giving away any secrets like that to Tipperary. If I had my way, I wouldn't even tell them the time of the throw-in" Ger Loughnane.
6. "He's like Lazarus; but Lazarus didn't have such a sweet
right boot" -- Micheal O'Muircheartaigh on Colin Corkery.
7. "Whenever a team loses, there's always a row at half time
but when they win, it's an inspirational speech" -- John O'Mahony.
8. "There are 2 things in Ireland that would drive you to
drink. GAA referees would drive you to drink, and the price of drink would
drive you to drink" -- Sligo Fan after 2002 Connacht final.
9. "The wheel fell off my mobile home" -- Offaly's Eugene
McGee explains why he was late for training.
10. "When my friends were besotted with Jason Donovan, my
heroes were Colm O'Rourke and Barney Rock" -- Sue Ramsbottom (Laois Ladies
Captain).
11. 'We're taking this match awful seriously. We're training
three times a week now, and some of the boys are off the beer since
Tuesday'
- Offaly hurler quote in the week before a Leinster hurling final vs.Kilkenny
12. 'Ger Loughnane was fair, he treated us all the same during training-like dogs' -anonymous Clare hurler
13. 'Any chance of an autograph? Its for the wife...she really hates you' - Tipp fan to Ger Loughnane
14. 'You can't win derbies with donkeys' - Babs Keating before Tipp played Cork in 1990
15. 'Sheep in a heap' -Babs Keating description of Offaly in 1998
16. 'Babs Keating 'resigned' as coach because of illness and fatigue. The players were sick and tired of him' - Offaly fan in 1998
17. 'And as for you. You're not even good enough to play for
this shower of useless no-hopers' - Former Clare mentor to one of his subs
after a heavy defeat
18. 'Babs Keating was arrested in Nenagh for shaking a
cigarette machine, but the Gardai let him off when he said he only wanted
to borrow twenty players' - Waterford fan after 2002 Munster final
19. 'They have a forward line that couldn't punch holes in a paperbag' - Pat Spillane on the Cavan football team
20. 'Meath players like to get their retaliation in first' - Cork fan 1988
21. 'Meath make football a colourful game-you get all black and blue' -another Cork fan 1988
22. 'Colin Corkery is deceptive. He is slower than he looks' - Kerry fan
23. 'Life isn't all beer and football...some of us haven't touched a football in months' - Kerry player during league campaign 1980s
> Subject: FW: Micheal O Muircheartaigh masterpieces
> "In the first half they played with the wind. In the second half
they played with the ball."
> "... and Brian Dooher is down injured. And while he is, I'll tell
ye a little story. I was in Times' Square in New York last week, and I was
missing the Championship back home. So I approached a news-stand and I said
'I suppose ye wouldn't have the Kerryman (Paper) would ye?' To which, the
Egyptian behind the counter turned to me and he said 'do you want the North
Kerry edition or the South Kerry edition?'... he had both...so I bought
both. And Dooher is back on his feet..."
>
> "Anthony Lynch the Cork corner back will be the last person to let
you down - his people are undertakers."
> "I saw a few Sligo people at Mass in Gardiner street this morning
and the omens seem to be good for them, the priest was wearing the same
colours as the Sligo jersey! 40 yards out on the Hogan stand side of the
field Ciaran Whelan goes on a rampage, it's a goal. So much for religion."
> Colin Corkery on the 45 lets go with the right boot. Its over
the
bar. This man shouldn't be playing football. He's made an almost
Lazarus-like recovery from a heart condition. Lazarus was a great man but
he
couldn't kick points like Colin Corkery."
> "1-5 to 0-8.. well from Lapland to the Antarctic, that's level
scores in any man's language."
> "Pat Fox has it on his hurl and is motoring well now... but here
comes Joe Rabbitte hot on his tail ...... I've seen it all now, a Rabbitte
chasing a Fox around Croke Park!"
> "I see John O Donnell dispensing water on the sideline.
Tipperary,
sponsored by a water company. Cork sponsored by a tae company. I wonder
will they meet later for afternoon tae."
> "Teddy looks at the ball, the ball looks at Teddy"
> "Danny "The Yank" Culloty. He came down from the mountains and
hasn't he done well."
> "He grabs the sliotar, he's on the 50...... he's on the 40....
he's on the 30.......... he's on the ground"
> "He kicks the ball lan san aer, could've been a goal, could've
been a point...... it went wide."
> "Stephen Byrne with the puck out for Offaly....Stephen, one of
12....all but one are here to-day, the one that's missing is Mary, she's at
home minding the house..... and the ball is dropping i lar na bpairce...."
> "Pat Fox out to the forty and grabs the sliothar, I bought a dog
from his father last week. Fox turns and sprints for goal, the dog ran a
great race last Tuesday in Limerick. Fox to the 21 fires a shot, it goes to
the left and wide..... and the dog lost as well."
> "Sean Og o Hailpin.... his father's from Fermanagh, his mother's
from Fiji, neither a hurling stronghold."
> "Teddy McCarthy to John McCarthy, no relation, John McCarthy back
to Teddy McCarthy, still no relation. "