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Gangsta horoscope

  • 02-07-2004 9:59pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,309 ✭✭✭


    ARIES (March 21-April 19) Consult members of your posse before making an important decision. Don't let no fool jam you up. Drink several 40s at dusk to relieve tension.

    TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Your beeper brings news of lucrative business possibilities. Take your favorite ho out to dinner to celebrate. Avoid drivebys.

    GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Make sure your back is covered if pulling a liquor store job. Don't pay attention to no crazy-ass bitch. Demand your props from new acquaintances. Word.

    CANCER (June 21-July 22) Pack an extra piece if leaving the 'hood today. A poster of Snoop Dogg could add luster to your crib. Carjacking a BMW may lift your spirits.

    LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) If dissed in a social situation, shoot somebody. A new gold tooth boosts your confidence. Wear baggy clothes to hide your stash.

    VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Don't let being oppressed by the man dampen your spirits. A quiet evening with the crack pipe could bring revelations. Prison may be in your future.

    LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Pop a cap in somebody's ass at a house party. Flash extra gold chains to gain respect from your crew. Intimidate anyone you don't know.

    SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Use a condom if bangin' some junkie brother's ho. Act hard so no one mess with you. It's a good evening to get down with your bad self.

    SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) An unexpected visit by the vice squad takes you off the street for a while. An ice pick could prove useful in a tense situation. Chill.

    CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Reach inside your jacket whenever someone look at you. If busted, don't take the rap for no punk-ass homey. Relax with some gin and juice this evening.

    AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 1 Wipe your prints off your 9 after you finish capping some G. Expanding your rap sheet could lead to incarceration. Drop some hood rat and take his Air Jordans.

    PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) An intimate moment with some other crew's freak could lead to payback. If some drunk-ass G gets in your face, tell him to step off. Leather gloves may come in handy.
    _________________


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,979 ✭✭✭Big Ears


    Virgo and Libra have the same dates in brackets , other than that I found it entertaining without being funny .


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,372 ✭✭✭Kone


    Originally posted by Big Ears
    Virgo and Libra have the same dates in brackets , other than that I found it entertaining without being funny .

    No they don't Big Ears, were you smoking the funny stuff tonight?! :p


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,274 ✭✭✭de5p0i1er


    Love it.
    SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) An unexpected visit by the vice squad takes you off the street for a while. An ice pick could prove useful in a tense situation. Chill.
    I'll take that advice to heart. :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,979 ✭✭✭Big Ears


    Originally posted by Kone
    No they don't Big Ears, were you smoking the funny stuff tonight?! :p

    no but I was taking extra large amounts of staying awake , without help from any caffeine friends of mine (I like Pepsi :p , why thers some Pepsi in the fridge right now ,Mmmmmhhhhmmmmm )


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,228 ✭✭✭Acidflash


    Originally posted by Kazu


    If dissed in a social situation, shoot somebody. A new gold tooth boosts your confidence. Wear baggy clothes to hide your stash.


    liked that the most :)


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