I know how to become England Captain

Dub13

Practice free-kicks all day and every day for 10 years until youre really good at them. Don't worry about going past people, tackling, dribbling, heading, ball-control, leadereship or anything else, just do a few keep ups and look like a footballer. Make sure you marry a famous woman and become so ridiculously famous that the England manager feels obliged by the country and press to make you captain. Let alone put you in the team

Seems to work

eirebhoy

Interesting topic.

mike65

Such insight! Now If you'd said that 4/5 years ago...

Mike.

Harry2001

I think Eriksson needs to show some bottle now and replace Beckham as skipper with either Sol Campbell or Steven Gerrard.

I'd still pick Beckham but he is just not captain material, can't see Eriksson doing it though!

eyerer

just saw them praising england on ITV, is andy townsend english?
he keeps saying "we" in reference to england and says "back home in the premiership"

beckham must be the most consistently overrated player i've ever heard of, though the panel seems to think he'll get back to being the "player we all know"
i'm surprised they even admitted he was ****e in euro 2004, though if he'd scored in the penalty shootout he would've been the hero, right

therecklessone

Originally posted by eyerer
is andy townsend english?

Is the accent not a giveaway?

mike65

Originally posted by eyerer
just saw them praising england on ITV, is andy townsend english?
he keeps saying "we" in reference to england and says "back home in the premiership"

Yes he is! Some silly fifa law allowed him to get an international game

Mike.

therecklessone

Originally posted by mike65
Yes he is! Some silly fifa law allowed him to get an international game

Mike.

Two words for ya Mike.

Greg Rusedski...;)

Dub13

I call him Andy "I never won anything" townsend...still dont no why they have him talking about ANYTHING on TV,he never played for a big club.I cant see any big player in todays game take advice from Andy "I never won anything" townsend.

mike65

Originally posted by therecklessone
Two words for ya Mike.

Greg Rusedski...;)

Send the wood chopper back home I say!

Mike.

Pigman II

Originally posted by Dub13
I call him Andy "I never won anything" townsend...still dont no why they have him talking about ANYTHING on TV,he never played for a big club.I cant see any big player in todays game take advice from Andy "I never won anything" townsend.

Wow! Thanks for that staggering snippet of insight there. :rolleyes:

Make sure that when you're finally done preaching from your 'gospel according to 5 minutes ago' to write an email to Townsend pointing out that his 13 years of top flight football (including spells at 'small' clubs like Chelsea and Villa), his 70 international caps and his appearances at two World Cups (captain at the 2nd) was really all for nothing.

PHB

When Beckham was at his peak he was one, if not the best, right sided wingers in the world.
I don't think there are any other better English right sided wingers out there atm and as you've said, his free kicks are world class.

I don't think he has the mentality of a captain, doesn't have the fire that you need.

The Campball, Neville, Gerrard and Lampard are all captain material, all have great grit and determination, personally I'd go for Gerrard once Beckham retires after the next world cup.

BKtje

right sided wingers

Dont think i'd ever really call him a winger, more a right sided midfield player imo. (i know some might call that a 'winger')

Big Ears

Originally posted by Dub13
I call him Andy "I never won anything" townsend...still dont no why they have him talking about ANYTHING on TV,he never played for a big club.I cant see any big player in todays game take advice from Andy "I never won anything" townsend.

and dont foget to give the same message to Matt Le Tissier while ur at it , because we all know he was crap , because he was at a small club all his carreer

eirebhoy

Originally posted by therecklessone
Is the accent not a giveaway?

Half my family have English accents but they're still Irish. Townsend (and most English born Ireland players at that time) is English though and gladly Kerr isn't taking everyone with an Irish granny into the squad (Nolan and Macken for example). There are also people who would say "we" when England or Ireland are playing, the presenter of the Ireland matches on Sky for example.

When Beckham was at his peak he was one, if not the best, right sided wingers in the world.

He was never the best right sided midfielder in my opinion anyway. The best crosser and dead ball specialist in the world, thats about it.

Seaneh

Originally posted by eirebhoy
He was never the best right sided midfielder in my opinion anyway. The best crosser and dead ball specialist in the world, thats about it.

Agreed.

He was never a world calss player, and he never will be.
A midfeild player who can't take players on and can't defend can't be counted as world class, no matter how good his passing is.

There were plenty of great midfeilders who could play equally good passes as beckham 6-7 years ago ther were never condisered the best in their posistion, and they had more to thier game too.

Albertini, Stoitchkov and a few other spring to mind.

Dub13

Originally posted by Pigman II


Make sure that when you're finally done preaching from your 'gospel according to 5 minutes ago' to write an email to Townsend pointing out that his 13 years of top flight football (including spells at 'small' clubs like Chelsea and Villa), his 70 international caps and his appearances at two World Cups (captain at the 2nd) was really all for nothing.

At the time Yes Chelsea were a small club (some would say they still are) and Villa were about a top 8 team.The point I am makeing is I see Andy "I never won anything" Townsend week in week out giving world calss players abuse and or advice,now why should players like Van Nistelrooy,Gerrard,Kean,and Duff take advice from Him....?

As for his 70 caps and two world cups....big deal,are you trying to tell me that ITV could not get any retired player living in the UK to work for them,I am sure if we thought about it we could all come up with somebody better than Andy "I never won anything" Townsend.

And as for Matt Le Tissier...well what a waste I cant think of another player who wasted as much talent as him for two reasons.1) he was very overweight (and I am being nice here some people would say he was just Fat) 2) he would not move away from the English south coast.

eirebhoy

Originally posted by Dub13
Andy "I never won anything" townsend...still dont no why they have him talking about ANYTHING on TV,he never played for a big club.

I've heard everything now.

Pigman II

Originally posted by Dub13
At the time Yes Chelsea were a small club (some would say they still are) and Villa were about a top 8 team.The point I am makeing is I see Andy "I never won anything" Townsend week in week out giving world calss players abuse and or advice,now why should players like Van Nistelrooy,Gerrard,Kean,and Duff take advice from Him....?

I'm curious as to how you actually define small? Chelsea have traditionally been one of the 10 or so biggest clubs in England for the last 50 years, they've done especially well in the 90's and 00's. So it's not as thought they were playing in the Conference before Abramovich dropped by to bank-roll them.

And to compound it you go on to chastise Townsends advice for the 'current elite' by listing off the likes of Gerrard, VanNistelrooy,Keane and Duff .... as tho they had accomplised something in the game. I count one international grade medal between the four of them ... and that was only in the UEFA cup! So what it boils down to is that these guys (currently at least) are nothing special or untouchable as far as I'm (and probably Townsend too) are concerned.

Originally posted by Dub13
As for his 70 caps and two world cups....big deal,are you trying to tell me that ITV could not get any retired player living in the UK to work for them,I am sure if we thought about it we could all come up with somebody better than Andy "I never won anything" Townsend.

Well, please, astound us with your acumen! Name me all the ex-pros in the UK who have 70+ international caps, have played in two world cups, have 13 seasons in the top division, have played in the Preimership as recently as 4 seasons ago .... and who are prepared to work for ITV?

smiaras

This post has been deleted.

eyerer

Originally posted by PHB
When Beckham was at his peak he was one, if not the best, right sided wingers in the world.
I don't think there are any other better English right sided wingers out there atm and as you've said, his free kicks are world class.

personally think hes overrated due to him being english and playing for united
good free kicks sure, but i never heard anyone say "hes lining up a harte" or "a heinze" even though they could/can take equally good free kicks
it absolutely enrages me when commentators say "hes going to do a beckham" when someone takes a free kick
if beckham was the only one that could do it, the player they're commentating on wouldn't be trying it anyway

Originally posted by Big Ears
and dont foget to give the same message to Matt Le Tissier while ur at it , because we all know he was crap , because he was at a small club all his carreer

now there was a good player with commitment, respect


Stoitchkov was a legend


btw i think townsend suits ITV, he chats as much ****e as the rest of their panel

KdjaCL

Townsend was a class player with Villa , superb passer of the ball.

Anyhoo Beckham isnt overrated he has one of the best best right feet in the world, the bottom line of it all is his crossing creates chances for Man utd and real (1st half of season) his assist rating is near the best in the world.
The chap is a prick but still has one of the sweetest right foots (heh) in the world.

Look at other wingers who can beat players more often than not they will run out of pitch or try one trick too many and perform inconsitently , beckham on the other hand only needs time to look up and he can deliver the killer pass to create a chance.

And astonishingly the only player he ever beat in the premiership one on one is Irish , prize to whoever gets it

Given a choice of someone who will score 10 goals a season from free kicks and make 25+ assists i think most managers would opt for a player like that.


kdjac

Pigman II

Originally posted by KdjaC
And astonishingly the only player he ever beat in the premiership one on one is Irish , prize to whoever gets it

I don't think I'll be accused by anyone of wild speculation if I guess Ian Harte?

Davey Devil

Originally posted by eirebhoy
There are also people who would say "we" when England or Ireland are playing, the presenter of the Ireland matches on Sky for example.

The presenter you mention is Paul Dempsey, who is actually Irish unlike Andy Townsend, who pretends to be Irish when it suits him e.g getting international caps.

Dub13

Originally posted by Pigman II
I'm curious as to how you actually define small? Chelsea have traditionally been one of the 10 or so biggest clubs in England for the last 50 years, they've done especially well in the 90's and 00's. So it's not as thought they were playing in the Conference before Abramovich dropped by to bank-roll them.

You kind of answered it yourself one of the top 10 teams...thats not a big club IMO,how many times have they won the championship...once thats not a big club, if it makes them one then Blackpool are also a big club.If you call what they did in the 90s and 00s as especially good...well they did not do that well IMO the odd FA Cup Final and scraping into the Champions League.Big Clubs do not go out of businesses as Chelsea very nearly did only this time last year,just because you have a load of "new money" as its called in Russia that does not make you a big club.Money doesn't make you a big club, it makes you a wealthy club.

So what does....Fan Base,Trophies Won, Reputation,a bit of history.




Who said anything about "international grade medal",they have won alot at there clubs.So Roy Keane never won a European Cup medal,I wish he didn't me being a Liverpool Fan but he did I no he did not play in the final,I have lost count on what he has won at Utd.Gerrard won a Uefa cup and a super cup,as well as a FA Cup.Van the man was top scorer in the Dutch top flight and has won a lot at UTD.Ok Duff has not won anything as yet but we all no its only a matter of time.All the above (exept Duff) have won stuff unlike Andy.So why should they listen to his crap.



I could name LOADS of people who are at home who have won something anything unlike Andy.How about Gary Macalester...he has won a lot more than Andy.How about Joe Kinnear,ok he has not played at a world cup but I for one would be intrested in what he would have to say.John Barnes must have around 70 caps and has won LOADS unlike "our"Andy.Eric Cantana ok maybe he did not get to the 70 mark but again he won loads,I would be Very intrested in what he has to say.They could have even asked Sir Moan (Alex) to go over,now that I would have liked.All the above IMO would do a much better job than "our" Andy.

Pigman II

Thanks for that! Now could we have it all again in sober?

eirebhoy

Originally posted by KdjaC
Anyhoo Beckham isnt overrated he has one of the best best right feet in the world

I notice its only United fans defending Becks.:) Beckham got 9 assists and 6 goals in his last season in the premiership. Damien Duff got 9 assists and 5 goals in 1460 minutes, the equivilent of just 16 matches. Beckham is always in the top 10 in the World player of the year (voted by international managers), Duffer would do well to get a vote.

KdjaCL

Originally posted by eirebhoy
I notice its only United fans defending Becks.:) Beckham got 9 assists and 6 goals in his last season in the premiership. Damien Duff got 9 assists and 5 goals in 1460 minutes, the equivilent of just 16 matches. Beckham is always in the top 10 in the World player of the year (voted by international managers), Duffer would do well to get a vote.

Your knowledge and anti englsih blinkerism astounds me when did Beckham play for St Pats?

kdjac

phenom

David Beckham is a good footballer but because he is so famous it went to his head.
He was a better footballer when he had his first few years at United imo.

Big Ears

Originally posted by KdjaC
Your knowledge and anti englsih blinkerism astounds me when did Beckham play for St Pats?

kdjac

He's not being anti English , he's being honest , Beckham isnt World Class , he never was , the only thing keeping his Career alive is Hello / OK magazine .

In my opinion , he was the greatest crosser of a ball in the world , some time back , but never the greatest free kick taker . When did he score 10 goals from free kicks in a season ?


edit : I did a little seasrch on google and something like what I thought would come up first did : Beckham Magazine (sums him all up really)

eirebhoy

Originally posted by KdjaC
Your knowledge and anti englsih blinkerism astounds me when did Beckham play for St Pats?

kdjac

I haven't a clue what that is meant to mean or whether you're being sarcastic. Anyway, I don't know how you can say Beckham isn't overrated and yes, I hate him.

cournioni

Originally posted by Pigman II
And to compound it you go on to chastise Townsends advice for the 'current elite' by listing off the likes of Gerrard, VanNistelrooy,Keane and Duff .... as tho they had accomplised something in the game. I count one international grade medal between the four of them ... and that was only in the UEFA cup! So what it boils down to is that these guys (currently at least) are nothing special or untouchable as far as I'm (and probably Townsend too) are concerned.

Keane has a Champions League medal. He might not have played in the final but he still has the medal.

The Muppet

Originally posted by eirebhoy
I haven't a clue what that is meant to mean or whether you're being sarcastic. Anyway, I don't know how you can say Beckham isn't overrated and yes, I hate him.

Beckham is/was definitely over rated by the English media. In his last season at United he was replaced by OLe for all the important games. He does possess a sweet right foot and can usuall pick out his man with a long distance pass which is the best part of his game but to be labeled one of the best wingers in the world in my book he would have to have more to his game ie the ability to go past players and to put the ball in from the byeline.

He is excellent with a dead pall and his passing is top notch but they are not the most important attributes of a winger so to say he is a world class winger is wrong IMO.


BTW I,m A United Fan.:D

Dub13

Originally posted by Pigman II
Thanks for that! Now could we have it all again in sober?

Did you not understand....?tell me were I lost you....?

eirebhoy

Originally posted by Dub13
Did you not understand....?tell me were I lost you....?

I don't see where your going with your argument. Townsend never won anything so players shouldn't take advice from him (I don't know who does anyway).

kida

I am a United fan too and like "the muppet" think that Beckham is/was overrated. About 3/4 years ago he did a very good job for United as a right sided midfielder - thats all. It was fabolus business getting what they did for him. His marketing potential for United was all but extinguished anyway as was his perfromances on the pitch.

He got off to a good start as England captain - the highlight being the game against Greece and even in that game he spent the whole time running around like a headless chicken. Since then he has gone downhill and both his performances and captaincy have suffered.

He looked good early on for Madrid - that was when things were going well for them- it would hard for any player not to look good in that team - when the chips were down however he disappeared and had an awful second half of the season.

The English press has a habit of building up players and then kicking them in the proverbials so dont be surprised to see him started to be criticised more and more. It will be interesting how long he remains at Madrid for, I can see him starting the season there but moving to England in January(prob to Chelsea) and it will all downhill from there.

Guy:Incognito

Originally posted by Dub13
At the time Yes Chelsea were a small club (some would say they still are) and Villa were about a top 8 team.The point I am makeing is I see Andy "I never won anything" Townsend week in week out giving world calss players abuse and or advice,now why should players like Van Nistelrooy,Gerrard,Kean,and Duff take advice from Him....?

Why should the Ireland squad listen to Kerr so? He was a manager in a semi-professional league and then managed kids?


I'm not a fan of KErr btw, I dont feel he deserved the job, but thats another thread altogether, but i feel it illustrates the point as hes done less than Townsend as a professional but you seem to think townsend isnt worth listening to.

Dub13

The point I am making is there are peole in the game who have done alot beter than him and they should have them on,Andy talks a good game but my other half talks about a good dinner that does not mean she can make a good dinner.

Originally posted by Pigman II


Well, please, astound us with your acumen! Name me all the ex-pros in the UK who have 70+ international caps, have played in two world cups, have 13 seasons in the top division, have played in the Preimership as recently as 4 seasons ago .... and who are prepared to work for ITV?

So you want more names.....I did not think this was the Andy fan club.How about...

Mark Huges: won loads at Utd and must have 70 odd caps for Wales.Also is a Manager

Dennis Irwin:again won loads at Utd and also played in world cups.

John Aldridge :Won Loads with Liverpool played in Spain and was a manager.Would also be around the 70 caps mark for Ireland.

Ian Rush:Played in Italy aslo won most things with Liverpool,and has alot of caps for Wales.

I am sure there are more,my point being that the above have all won things in the game,they are winners unlike Andy.Jason McAteer also played in two world cups...I am sure you will NOT see him on TV anytime soon giving out advice like Andy.

Guy:Incognito

has i dawned on you that maybe these people dont want to do it?

And i take it by not replying to my post about kerr that you are a fan of his and as such dont want to be proved wrong.

eirebhoy

How does winning trophies make you know more about the game? Giles and Dunphy have won throphies but they haven't a clue.

Dub13

Stekelly,
Relax I only seen your post about Kerr after I posted my one.IMO its differnt when it comes to managers some very successful managers never played or were crap Sir Moan for one.I am not a believer in the theory that you have to be a top class player to be a top class manager.The fact is somebody in power (FAI) thinks he is will do a good job and I would tend to agree.But only time will tell.

Dub13

Originally posted by eirebhoy
How does winning trophies make you know more about the game? Giles and Dunphy have won throphies but they haven't a clue.

It does not but why should players like Zidane,Henry,Nedved, take advice from a journey man such as Andy "I never won anything" Townsend...I am sure most of them would never have even heard of him.

Now players such as Huges,Irwin,Aldridge and Rush they have been there and done that,they no what they are talking about.

I dont no if its just me but why should a world class former World champion and European Champion such as Henry take advice from a journey man.

therecklessone

Originally posted by Dub13
It does not but why should players like Zidane,Henry,Nedved, take advice from a journey man such as Andy "I never won anything" Townsend...I am sure most of them would never have even heard of him.

At a guess I'd say most of them take their advice from their manager/coaches/advisers, and not from football pundits.

I would say that most footballers think of media types/pundits as mouthy fans rather than as some font of football knowledge.

PHB

Because being able to spot problems in someones game doesn't mean you were able to fix the problems in your own game

By your logic no great player should listen to nearly all of the coaches since they were never as good as the players are, and by your logic players like Zidane should never listen to Pele because only a few were ever as good as them.

Being able to spot problems in someones game and playing the game is different.

eirebhoy

Originally posted by Dub13
It does not but why should players like Zidane,Henry,Nedved, take advice from a journey man such as Andy "I never won anything" Townsend

eh, they don't. He's a football pundit, were did you get the idea he gives advice to anyone?

Dub13

Originally posted by eirebhoy
eh, they don't. He's a football pundit, were did you get the idea he gives advice to anyone?

Week in week out on ITV...he says things like Henry should do xyz to get back top form,well andy if you were any good as a player you would have don it.

I all ready said its much different for managers as there is things such as man management,motivation,players to buy and sell,tranning methods,back room staff etc etc.

eirebhoy

Originally posted by Dub13
Week in week out on ITV...he says things like Henry should do xyz to get back top form,well andy if you were any good as a player you would have don it.

There's a difference between giving an opinion and giving advice. What have you got against Townsend? I'm sure if you read a newspaper you'd see someone who has never played football before saying "he should have of done so and so". Even on this forum you would see things like "If Robbie Keane passed the ball more often he'd be a better player".

Dub13

Originally posted by eirebhoy
There's a difference between giving an opinion and giving advice. What have you got against Townsend? I'm sure if you read a newspaper you'd see someone who has never played football before saying "he should have of done so and so". Even on this forum you would see things like "If Robbie Keane passed the ball more often he'd be a better player".

As I said before I dont have anything against him,I just think that a big network like ITV could get sombody who has won things,fair play to Andy for getting the job.

therecklessone

Originally posted by Dub13
As I said before I dont have anything against him,I just think that a big network like ITV could get sombody who has won things,fair play to Andy for getting the job.

Maybe they got him because he's comfortable in front of a camera, and is reasonably articulate? You know, those attributes you expect from a TV personality...

Better than Frank Stapleton and Bryan Hamilton anyway.

Big Ears

Originally posted by Dub13
As I said before I dont have anything against him,I just think that a big network like ITV could get sombody who has won things,fair play to Andy for getting the job.

so your saying if Andy Townsend had won competitions , it would be alright for him to be on ITV , even though he may not know any more than he does now ?

eyerer

Originally posted by kida
I am a United fan too and like "the muppet" think that Beckham is/was overrated. About 3/4 years ago he did a very good job for United as a right sided midfielder - thats all. It was fabolus business getting what they did for him. His marketing potential for United was all but extinguished anyway as was his perfromances on the pitch.

He got off to a good start as England captain - the highlight being the game against Greece and even in that game he spent the whole time running around like a headless chicken. Since then he has gone downhill and both his performances and captaincy have suffered.

He looked good early on for Madrid - that was when things were going well for them- it would hard for any player not to look good in that team - when the chips were down however he disappeared and had an awful second half of the season.

The English press has a habit of building up players and then kicking them in the proverbials so dont be surprised to see him started to be criticised more and more. It will be interesting how long he remains at Madrid for, I can see him starting the season there but moving to England in January(prob to Chelsea) and it will all downhill from there.

yeah i can see something like that, the latest real coach (don't they have a new one every season?) has said something along the lines of doubting beckhams ability (finally someone sees it) so he may be shown the door sooner rather than later (or maybe not)
cant see him staying at madrid for that much longer anyway, a year or 2 tops

john giles might not be the most articulate, or have a pleasant voice to listen to, but i think he does have a clue, several times i've watched a match and what he said/predicts happens

can't beat dunphy for entertainment though