Things you should need a License for.....

Jaden

Licenses. Think of some of the silly things you need them for, and some of the stuff you can do without needing one.

Sensible Licenses:
Driving.
Firearms.
Pilots.

Dumb Licenses:
Dog
TV

But now the crux of my gripe. Things that you should need a license for, but don't. Please feel free to add to this list.

Having kids.
Too many people doing this, who should obviously not be allowed. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

Using the Intarweb.
We all know how many muppets are using it. Regulate now before it's too late! It could be like the ABCD system with driving, using something
like:

A1 - Only allowed use AOL with adult present.
A2 - Only to use e-mail.
C1 - Allowed to surf/e-mail unattended.
C2 - Allowed to surf/e-mail unattended and download porn. (18+)
D - Allowed to post content to Websites.
E - Allowed to post to usenet.

G1 - Allowed to play Counterstrike online
G2 - Allowed to play any game on-line

W - Allowed to create websites.

What else should be licensed?

Sleepy

Wll, you included my main gripe in this area (a licence to procreate)

One thing I think you missed out:

A licence to drink. Let's face it, there are far too many muppets out there that can't hold their drink and use this in court to defend their hooliganism. Again it could be done like a driving licence:

A1 - Striclty limited to 2 white wine Spritzers
A2 - Limited to 2 glasses of beer/cider/wine etc.
C1 - Allowed to consume no more than 5 drinks (excl. Spirits)
C2 - Allowed to consume no more than 5 drinks (spirits allowed)
D - Permitted to ingest anything up to 10 drinks
E - Allowed consume whatever they like

karlh

hey, if we all got barcode tattoos when we were born, they could have a whole database of what licenses people hold and we could be scanned before we go to do anything.....oh wait a second, wouldn't that kind of take away from free choice and being human!? :rolleyes:


i really hope this thread is a joke....too tired to get sarcasm so if it is just that, forgive me....


:dunno:

impr0v

Another obvious one:
Licence to wear tops which expose the midrift.

I don't think the application of different categories would be of any use here, it should simply be 'allowed to display', or 'display prohibited'. And furthermore, there should be compulsory retesting every few months.

If the scheme proved succesful at regulating the amount of dough-like blubber being bandied about the high streets and nightclubs of the country then perhaps it might be worth considering it's extension to cover mini-skirts, tracksuit bottoms and even tattoos.

Beruthiel

Originally posted by Jaden
Having kids.
Too many people doing this, who should obviously not be allowed. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

I could not agree more with this!

AngelofFire

smoke marijuana

seamus

Being a scumbag.

Then you make the licences impossible to get, so you can just throw scumbags in jail without having to prove they've ever done anything.

Bliss...

AngelofFire

Originally posted by Sleepy
Wll, you included my main gripe in this area (a licence to procreate)

One thing I think you missed out:

A licence to drink. Let's face it, there are far too many muppets out there that can't hold their drink and use this in court to defend their hooliganism. Again it could be done like a driving licence:

A1 - Striclty limited to 2 white wine Spritzers
A2 - Limited to 2 glasses of beer/cider/wine etc.
C1 - Allowed to consume no more than 5 drinks (excl. Spirits)
C2 - Allowed to consume no more than 5 drinks (spirits allowed)
D - Permitted to ingest anything up to 10 drinks
E - Allowed consume whatever they like

In light of your extreme and outrageous post, i suggest a licence to post stuff on the internet to stop threads from being hijacked by maniacs.

Kone

Originally posted by seamus
Being a scumbag.

Then you make the licences impossible to get, so you can just throw scumbags in jail without having to prove they've ever done anything.

Bliss...

Amen Brother!

billy the squid

Originally posted by seamus
Being a scumbag.

Then you make the licences impossible to get, so you can just throw scumbags in jail without having to prove they've ever done anything.

Bliss...

you would have to prove they were a scumbag

what happens to people who have unlicenced children.

Sleipnir

license for girls to wear thongs.
(shudders at some of the memories)

Sleepy

Originally posted by AngelofFire
In light of your extreme and outrageous post, i suggest a licence to post stuff on the internet to stop threads from being hijacked by maniacs.

Not able to handle your drink then AngelofFire?

AngelofFire

I dont drink

ChipZilla

Sexual reproduction. Far too many freaks out there on the shallow end of the gene pool....

Class A: Licensee has been neutered.
Class B: Solo sex only.

etc.

etc.

Jaden

So we should have licenses for:

Procreation.
Internet Use.
Drinking.
Midrif exposure & also skirts.
Being a Skanger.

All excellent choices. Any more?

impr0v

Licence to discharge an umbrella in a public place.

Tommy Vercetti

Originally posted by billy the squid

what happens to people who have unlicenced children.

sell them (the children I mean) to a Chinese takeaway and use the money for a training course in "How To Obtain A License to Procreate - Beginners"

Sleipnir

Originally posted by impr0v
Licence to discharge an umbrella in a public place.

Now that one I *really* agree with. They seem to forget they have a 4 foot wide appendage whirling about their heads.
Plus, the ones who still have it up 30 minutes after it's stopped raining!

'Umbrella Bandits' I call them.

Dont be at yourself

License to download and use ringtones.

Utter troglodytes seem to enjoy nothing better than turning the upstairs of a bus into a horrible cacophany of shitty beeps and tones.

See also: License for spanish students to use public transport while abroad. Or to congregate in groups of three or more while abroad.

Sarky

Licence to play an instrument and/or sing for a living. With an EXTREMELY rigorous screening procedure. There's far too much utter sonic blasphemy around. It drowns out most of the poor sods with a whiff of talent...

A licence to offer opinions would get my vote. People should be able to give a good opinion backed up with some sort of arguement, if not facts. Maybe the licence to use the net would reduce the need for that one, though.

On the procreation bit though, I say people's genitals should be removed (or sealed up as the case may be), and access only restored after reciept of the licence. It's the only way to be sure.

Robbo

License to write "introspective" poetry and post it up on t'internet .

License to blog pending passing a test. Test syllabus to include spelling, punctuation, how derivative your personality is, whether you think your blog is "ker-ay-zee" and the probability of you to write long posts in a withering style about some minor incident of minutia that occurred on one of your rare forays into the outside world whilst accompanied with a group of similar sociopaths.

John R

License to smoke.

License to operate personal audio equipment in public.

Agent Smith

licence to join board's.....



bubbles i'm looking at you boyo

munkeehaven

license to kill....sorry i had to do that...''and you know it's going straight for your heart''..that's the only bit of that song i know..from that stupid buy-an-album ad.

MadsL

Minkeys. As in "Do you ave a licence for zat minkey"...

..."are you blieeennndd?"

all together now...der dit...der dit...der dit....etc

Deadwing

Originally posted by karlh
hey, if we all got barcode tattoos when we were born, they could have a whole database of what licenses people hold and we could be scanned before we go to do anything.....oh wait a second, wouldn't that kind of take away from free choice and being human!? :rolleyes:

TREE HUGGER!!!
We need another vietnam to thin out your ranks a little

sliabh

Originally posted by Sleipnir
Now that one I *really* agree with. They seem to forget they have a 4 foot wide appendage whirling about their heads.
Plus, the ones who still have it up 30 minutes after it's stopped raining!

'Umbrella Bandits' I call them.

A few weeks ago I saw someone walking around inside the St Stephens Green centre with one up.

But a licence to vote is an idea as well. I keep meeting people who never bother watching the news to find out/understand what is going on and then they are allowed to pick politicians! As a minimum a current affairs test should be administered.

"I am sorry you did not know that politican X (out of who's arse you think the sun shines) has been charged with corrupt behaviour, so you are barred from voting"

or

"You still think George Bush found WMDs in Iraq so you are not qualified to vote"

hostyle

Originally posted by MadsL
Minkeys. As in "Do you ave a licence for zat minkey"...

..."are you blieeennndd?"

all together now...der dit...der dit...der dit....etc

Excuse me. May we see your license, please?