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ho ho ho ho :)

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  • 10-06-1999 2:48pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 2,518 ✭✭✭


    Made it up meself, honest:


    Ladies and Gentlemen, of the Tribe of ’99.

    Wear shield packs.

    If I could offer you only one tip for the future, shield packs would be it. The long-term benefits of shield packs have been proved by EM’ers, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

    Enjoy the power and beauty of light armour. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of light armour until you’ve been smacked down in a heavy. But trust me, in 2 months, you'll look back at demos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how lame you really were. You are not as l33t as you imagine.

    Don't worry about turrets. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to mortar jump on Scarabrae. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your pulse sensors, the kind that drop grenades on you at 4 p.m. on some idle game on Snowblind.

    Make one flag run every day that scares you.

    Ski.

    Don't walk into teamates’ mines. Don't put up with teamates who walk into yours.

    Strafe.

    Don't waste your time on the generators. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The mission is long and, in the end, it's only with the enemy team.

    Remember great caps you made. Forget the time you were 0wned. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

    Keep your old scripts. Throw away your smack pack.

    Snipe.

    Feel guilty if you don't know what you want to get at the inventory station. The lamest people I know didn't know after a minute what they wanted to do with the inventory station.

    Get plenty of repairs. Be kind to your spinfusors. You'll miss them when they're gone.

    Maybe you'll join a tribe, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll go on defense, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll capture, maybe you'll “dance!” on your way back to the base. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your frags are half chance. So are everybody else's.

    Enjoy your Jetpack. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

    “Dance!”, even if you have nowhere to do it but your own flag room.

    “Read the manual ffs!”, even if you don't follow it.

    Do not read strategy guides. They will only make you feel lame.

    Get to know your team. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your defenders. They're your best chance of capping and the people most likely to stick with you under fire.

    Understand that attacks come and go, but a precious few you should smack down. Work hard to bridge the gaps in Dangerous Crossing and Broadside, because the better you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were a newbie.

    Live in Leitrim once, but leave before the packet loss makes you insane. Live in Dublin once, but leave before the pings make you soft. Board an APC.

    Accept certain inalienable truths: People will have mindless duels. Muppets will use the sniper rifle like a machine gun. You, too, will have a bad game. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you 0wned the other team, people defended, snipers were sneaky and newbies respected the guy in heavy on the flag.

    Respect your heavy.

    Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have an energy pack. Maybe you'll have a sensor. But you never know when either one might run out.

    Don't mess too much with your favourites or by the time you're finished at the inv. station you’ll have been team killed.

    Be careful whose APC you board, but be patient with those who pilot it. APC’s are a dangerous form of transport. Piloting it is a way of not mowing down your teamates, avoiding the rocket turrets, painting the right targets and destroying it before the enemy team flies it off the map.

    But trust me on the Shield packs.



    smile.gif...it could become our anthem or somthing (bad idea/good idea)

    [This message has been edited by Hecate (edited 10-06-99).]


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 50 ✭✭SS 02 Coyote


    Babes,

    I want whatever drugs you are on boyo! smile.gif

    Lovely stuff, almost brought a tear to my eye. Now the real challange is to find just the right music to accompany it......

    Nice One. :0)

    Regards,

    [SS-02]Coyote
    "Abandon All Hope!"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 207 ✭✭ChungKing


    I started off reading this thinking cheesy, or what

    and it is biggrin.gif

    but it's also actually quite good - should be posted on every newbie's forehead! (and a few oldbies too!)


  • Registered Users Posts: 184 ✭✭YuM


    lol... ur a mad **** with too much time...

    also I lived in Leitrim too long ...

    arrragh...sheep!!!!




  • Registered Users Posts: 21,264 ✭✭✭✭Hobbes


    How about...

    1. Putting your name on it. These spread around the net quick, and the writer can quickly loose thier name off it.

    2. Localise it. Change Leitrim and Dublin to something else. Most people here have problems knowing where Ireland is smile.gif

    3. I would of said "Health Packs" not "shield packs" smile.gif But the prose is cool, nice take on the "Wear sunscreen" one.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 207 ✭✭ChungKing


    Yeah - put yer name on it at the bottom - I posted it on tribesplayers.co.uk and said you wrote it, but maybe i didn't put it clear enough ...

    /me dashes off to edit his post

    smile.gif


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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,518 ✭✭✭Hecate


    i remember somthing similar was sent through the em list a few days ago, about drinking i recall....im only getting last weeks emails now (over 150 of them...yous have far too much time on your hands smile.gif, but it looks like im not the first to do a take on the baz lhurman thing...mabye the first to do a gaming related one smile.gif


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 207 ✭✭ChungKing


    yeah ... the alcohol one was funny and heart-warming. Touching really. Brought a sniff to my eye & a tear to my nose....

    beeeeeerrrrr mmmmmmmmm smile.gif


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