CTYI Quotes (and lots of 'em!)

elephamt king

article6 wrote:

*sigh*

If you think these are actually funny, you should have been in Eoin Carolan's Legal Studies course in '02. Noirin had a book full of Eoin quotes, if memory serves me right.

here are some eoin Quotes from Legal Studies Session1 2003.

Eoin:"The US Supreme Court invented abortion."

Eoin: "I didn’t see her – she was behind the head"

Eoin:"West Germany was the one…er…more in the west"

Eoin:"He was one of the more reputable paedophile priests"

Eoin:"People can fake suicide very easily"

Eoin:"To keep both of them alive one had to die"

Eoin: (Consent to c-section case) “You know how it is with women – you never know if they’re saying yes or no.”

Eoin:"The least alphabetical person will go first"

Eoin:"In the normal everyday average murder or rape case…"

o.k,those are all the Eoin Carolan quotes that i have.

Piste

I just remembered those deep conversations with the guys in the middle of the night

"Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz Wake uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!"-Liam
"Whaaaaaaaaat?"-Me
"This is important!"
"What?"
"Would you sleep with a hobo called Jim for a million euro?"
"Hell Yeah!"
"HaHa! you'd sleep with Jim!"
"Liiiiiiiiiz, were you ever a boy?"
"Once, my hair was really, REALLY short and I looked like a boy"
"Ewwwwwwww! You were a boy!"
"Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz! Do you own a vibrator?"
"Um, no.......my phone vibrates when you ring it"
"Oh My God she has a vibrator!"


And so on.....

freakydeadgirl

"this should be played with bigger boobs and tighter tops"-matt's comment on cleaveage ball, said right before i backed into willy and turned around with a ball of duck tape in my top

"i haven't seen willy all week"- elain, my r.a.

"does anyone what some pixie stix?"-me
"MEEEEE! GIMMIE GIMMIE"- ali, jumping up n down
" $hit it broke all over my ****"
"i'll lick it off you then"
"nooo, ahhhh LESBAIN PIXIE STIXS!!!"

and speaking of licking...........
"AHHHHH I"M ALL WET. SOMEONE LICK ME. LICK ME!!"me
"o.k."-dave
and then.........
"fc*k. it went down my shirt."-ali
"let's lick ali!"-someone in the orgy
"no. ali will lick herself"

It wasn't me!

"I hope real orgasms aren't this amusing!"
-Ali at the first mini-reunion.

me_smart

freakydeadgirl wrote:

"
(while stareing intently at a spoon)"you know what we should do?"- one member of the night that didn't happen 7
"what?"- the remaining 6
" we shoulg go in and attack gareth with spoons while chanting 'kalleba"

hehe! indeed that was one of the best nights i had in ctyi....except of course it never happened *cough*

SeanOM

stop coughing. they'll catch on

buffalo

Does anyone actually remember whose idea it was originally? To use the spoons to... y'know... 'cause I can't, and I'm afraid it might have been me. :$

SeanOM

i think it was yours. One things 4 sure it wasn't gareths idea

buffalo

Well I guess it's one more thing to add to the ol' list of achievements then. I shall have to repeat it during the year with my new flatmate!

me_smart

that'd be ME!! but the real question is how will we get gareth to fall asleep in one of the bedrooms and get all the members of the penthouse club in there all at once for a repeat?? plus, i dont think we'll have enough spoons!

StupidLikeAFox

me_smart wrote:

i dont think we'll have enough spoons!

Ye could jus find a canteen and raid it

freakydeadgirl

i still have the spoon that i used that night
"KNEEL BEFORE THE ALL MIGHTY SPOON, FOOLISH MORTAL"

HeyYou

Hey all,

I'm in Vilniius at the moment, so this isn't really a CTYI quote. but it is VERY stupid so I'm putting it in here anyway. I said it, alas...

Irwin; "I wonder can you separate seawater into sea and water?"

I'm SO embarassed...but it is funny.

Funkeyhatzrock!

HeyYou wrote:

. I said it, alas...

Irwin; "I wonder can you separate seawater into sea and water?"

And who was it exactly who thought you should be allowed mind teens for 6weeks?

Caoimhe

HeyYou wrote:

Hey all,

I'm in Vilniius at the moment, so this isn't really a CTYI quote. but it is VERY stupid so I'm putting it in here anyway. I said it, alas...

Irwin; "I wonder can you separate seawater into sea and water?"

I'm SO embarassed...but it is funny.

still our irwin...

apathy_rocks

Spog wrote:

Vincenzo (or Ricardo, can't remeber which, someone correct me): I have the biggest balls in all of Italy!

Cassidy Vail: Yeah? Well I have the biggest penis in all of america!

... And ensuing conversations with John Paul Holly Aising Dee KC Liam Meghan and Jesse.

Hehe

Haha, good times... ah, those goofy wasted sportalian youths.

Squishee3698

"We'll love you forever....together, at the same time!" (o d things wel du 4 oreos)

"Your every watch is being moved!"

"I would if I could but I don't wanna"

"Justin Timberlake is a zombie, 'he just wants your brain' and he even broadcasts it!"

dERE were more but ive 4gotten dem an aislings d only 1 whol really get dese but if any1 knew me r ash last year dey might remember dem

Squishee3698

right remembered some more modern 1s(as in, from ctyi o4)
Liam sayin 2 me v loudly in front of d whole writin 4 life class:"Thank you 4 your services" (he was givin back a pen i loaned him, so it WAS innocent)

Niall K/Dermo(not sure wich 1) sayin 2 conor hm + meself on spyin us canoodling:"Guys, get a room" ~5 mins later~ "oh wait...or dont actually"

Yasmin:"Get back to res now, there's been a fire, you need to get down here"
Me:"No we're fine, we're watching Moulin Rouge, cya later"
(oh yes, Moulin Rouge is a new form of fire protection, didn't you know?)

Last year in Japanese class we al had 2 figure out wat our names should b wen put in katakana and say them aloud, on Donnacha sayin his version our teacher Declan:"So you're a reindeer then Donnacha?"
It was funny at d time - I swear!

An 4 al d oder writin 4 lifers- u gotta remember dis -it may not b funny but it was such a common presence in our class-
Sarah(our t.a.):"Guys, STOP TALKING"(imagine that 10 times a minute in an xtremely annoyin voice) :rolleyes:

Caoimhe

Squishee3698 wrote:

Last year in Japanese class we al had 2 figure out wat our names should b wen put in katakana and say them aloud, on Donnacha sayin his version our teacher Declan:"So you're a reindeer then Donnacha?"
It was funny at d time - I swear!

Tanaka-san!!! almost as funny as sarah finding out her name meant "plate" in katakana

Matthewthebig

just me correcting the spleen girls incident as it was me.

Me "I'm trying to think of a porn name for mean girls. the best i came up with was spleen girls. It could be operation porn. Um this heart feels so warm"

Someone in Class "what you and dave laughing about?"

Me "Spleen girls as operation porn and heart ****ing"

I'm convinced Colm heard it all it was funny and hilarious

apathy_rocks

Stuart quotes...

"I'm John Muhammad Ali!" (while shooting water gun)
"I'm gonna go, uh, buy some porn down at Spar. You wanna go?"
"I just got sodomized by another piece of furniture!"
"AH MY INHIBITOR CHIP!" (any mention of inhibitor chips really)
"I just have these tentacles because they're AWESOME."
"Let's sit in a circle and talk about how Japanese I am."
"I've been in a blind rage ever since I took that shower."

There are most likely some others that I'm forgetting at the moment.

carlowboy

Session1:
Question at quiz:" If the answer is no, what is the question?"

Ans by some genius:"I bet Una would know"

Piste

Matthew at the reunion yesterday- 'If every girl masturbated they'd be a lot happier'

pinkpimp

That is like the truest thing anyones ever said.

Aoibheann

Yesterday, at bus eireann,
Guy(to me): I wonder what your name is on the ctyi boards...
Me: How did you know?


Cue lots of laughter, and embarrassment on my part. Though it was funny.
It was a total accident, I didnt actually mean to say it, I had something completely different in mind.
Oh well.

Judas04

Ah Spleen girls! Good times. Also when Leo came in2 our class!

It wasn't me!

That was funny, and then the psycho TA yelled at him on his way out. Remember Kevan's message?

HeyYou

Hey all,

I feel like I'm corrupting this board with quotes from non-CTYI sources, but I thought these were genius and you shoul all see them. I'm in the Czech Republic at the moment, we have a great phrasebook with us with lots of translations for stuff we should be able to say. The following were listed one after the other, as if in the form of a conversation...

Firstly: "Im sorry. I apologise."

Then: "I didn't realise I was doing anything wrong."

And: "I didn't do it."

Followed by: "I wish to contact my embassy/consulate."

And finally: "I have medical insurance."


Pure eastern European gold.

Caoimhe

reminds me of when i was in italy with my friends - for cheap laughs italian phrase books are a GOLDMINE. oh and irwin - hope you're having a blast, im going to prague soon so you'll have to give me all the details on where to go

buffalo

On the topic of phrasebooks, anyone else see this story?

http://www.ireland.com/newspaper/front/2004/0827/2977446169HM1COONAN.html