A man's revenge

climaxer

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT???!!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we would just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let's get a pair for each outfit. We went to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT??!!!"
I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for
who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently, I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly over a frozen hell.

Stabshauptmann

Now thats the funnies thing ive read in a while, not all these stupid puns, crappy pics and recycled emails. That brightened my day, thanks.

Pugsley

Posted a billion times before, still rather amusing though

Peace

Reminds me of a story posted in PI.. about a guy whosbird was spending all his moeny... so he told her to go out for a biog meal on him with her mate and he'd join them in a while. Told her to go all out... order steak and champange because he go a promotion. Needless to say hestood them up and tagged them with the bill. His way of saying "you're dumped".... in style man.

gobby

Been posted before. Loads of times. Still find it funny though...