The umbrella assassins!

Zulu

Has anyone else noticed that there exists a certain type of person, who refuses to lift their umbrella when walking towards you?

I imagine that anyone over 6 foot must have noticed this by now. For the past 13 years of my life, there have been people trying to blind me, oblivious to the fact that anyone might exist outside their umbrella.

It's something I've been monitoring for a time now. Anyone else notice? Anyone lost an eye?

IgnatiusJRiley

Yes, I have noticed this and have always thought that people under 6 feet tall should be banned from using them. Of course the UFI (Umbrellas Fedaration of Ireland) have put considerable pressure on the government to prevent this from happening.

Sleepy

I just wish I'd remembered mine this morning, I got feckin soaked. Thanks be to Jeff for the man that invented hand dryers!

eth0_

Sleepy wrote:

I just wish I'd remembered mine this morning, I got feckin soaked. Thanks be to Jeff for the man that invented hand dryers!

Forgot? But it's been raining solidly all night! :P

Sleipnir

"Umbrella bandits" I call them.
Don't forget the idiot (women) who still have the umbrella up 20 minutes after it's stopped raining. I just want to roar at them
"IT'S NOT RAINING ANYMORE!"

Zulu

Sleipnir wrote:

Don't forget the idiot (women) who still have the umbrella up 20 minutes after it's stopped raining.

Yea, actually, whats with that?

Sleipnir

I honestly think they forget they have a four-foot wide appendage over their heads.

babyhack

this does my nut
was walking to work this moring and got it every couple of steps
now im a tall thin lad and have a big golf umbrella so being the nice person that i am i lift mine over the little people so that they and there umbrella can walk under mine which means they stay dry i get hit by there umbrella get soaked and walk on thinking why they hell do i even bother

its just war in dublin when it rains alot of people have this thing of "i am walking here and thats it anyone in the way gets an eye out"

babyhack

Zulu wrote:

Yea, actually, whats with that?

ah but all women have a thing that if 1 drop of rain hits there head that there hair is ruined

tk123

hey i get bashed but them all the time and i'm waaaaaay under 6 feet - i think it's cos of the way they hold them at an angle - see diagam...

babyhack

im the big blue one in the pic even with my umbrella i still get hit in the head

Sleipnir

babyhack wrote:

im the big blue one in the pic even with my umbrella i still get hit in the head

That's a lovely picture. Permission to put that on my fridge?
is that a bus stop on the right? Or a balloon?

Zulu

tk123 wrote:

hey i get bashed but them all the time and i'm waaaaaay under 6 feet - i think it's cos of the way they hold them at an angle - see diagam...

What a diagram!

But the question remains - do you notice anything similar about these eye-gouging lunatics? Any familiar traits?

babyhack

tis a bus stop
but you will have to ask tk123 for the rights to the pic as it is his work of art
darn the office is starting to leak from all the rain old merrion square building are not holding out to well over the years

babyhack

Zulu wrote:

But the question remains - do you notice anything similar about these eye-gouging lunatics? Any familiar traits?

they are all little people about 5ft maybe a little bigger and when they have an umbrella its at about 6ft they lock onto you and head straight for you

there are lots of them i tells you and they are out to get us

zoro

babyhack wrote:

old merrion square building are not holding out to well over the years

*raises eye brow* What number?

Talliesin

It's especially bad if you shave your head. All to often peaceful law-abiding skinheads are assaulted by diminutive octogenarians.

babyhack

zoro wrote:

*raises eye brow* What number?

48/49 the National University of Ireland

zoro

ah I'm in 19/20/21 IIB Homeloans

babyhack

zoro wrote:

ah I'm in 19/20/21 IIB Homeloans

this a small world
no off the shop with me to gets me a coffee

"rain drops keep falling on my head"
cant stop singing that now

tk123

The people in the pic are at a bus stop and you guys can do what you want with it!

CathyMoran

I'm 5ft 2 inches tall, so yes I do accidentally blind people 5ft 8 inches and above but taller people do get their revenge...when I am walking with someone taller I either get a really sore arm when I am holding the umbrella or get soaked if they are holding it...

DrColossus

UMbrella people can be evil. YOu get hit be one of those things and what do they do!? hmm!? they feckin walk straight on by giving the slightest of glimpses to see what their precious umbrella got caught on. My freekin eye socket, thats what! Its like driveby shootings only worse*






*not really

Flukey

Those automatic ones can be really dangerous, with the speed they open! Then there is the fun of trying to close them at a bus stop as the bus arrives, without getting wet before getting on the bus, or killed by someone else's umbrella! Sugar people, they are a dangerous lot too. They are the ones that think the slightest drop of water hitting them will melt them. So there might be a tiny bit of drizzle, not enough to wet a fly and the sugar people are going around with their umbrellas up. They can also be seen walking around long after a shower has stopped, still with the umbrella up, even though the sun might be cracking the stones at this stage!

Zulu

CathyMoran wrote:

I'm 5ft 2 inches tall, so yes I do accidentally blind people 5ft 8 inches and above

But do you lift the umbrella to let people pass under? or are you one of the "my brollys not moving for no-one or no-thing - you eye included? What I don't get is why don't these people just lift the umbrella you when theres a person walking towards you? I mean it's not that hard - I do it for everyone.

CathyMoran wrote:

but taller people do get their revenge...when I am walking with someone taller I either get a really sore arm when I am holding the umbrella or get soaked if they are holding it...

well thats a common problem. If I'm sharing a brolly with a shorter person, the metal bits holdong it open scratch the hell out of my scalp, (diagrams welcome!) and I end up with a crick in my neck!

SantaHoe

Hats > Brollies




And here's why!
(Attachment, sorry it started as a diagram, but I got carried away)

Sleepy

tk123 wrote:

hey i get bashed but them all the time and i'm waaaaaay under 6 feet - i think it's cos of the way they hold them at an angle - see diagam...

That's just too cute for words....

Paladin

I think the more dangerous umbrella users are like in this cool and informative diagram:

lisa.c

whats worse is when your standing beside someone for a long time and they suddenly tilt the umbrella in your direction and a little stream of it wets all one side of you...

Sleepy

I dunno, I'd rather be wet than lose an eye, but you have a point. In general most people are entirely careless with their umbrellas and stranger yet, the worst offenders are little old ladies!

tba

zoro wrote:

ah I'm in 19/20/21 IIB Homeloans

But 19/20 Merrion Square is STW Architects

And umbrellas should require a licence

Zulu

Paladin wrote:

I think the more dangerous umbrella users are like in this cool and informative diagram:

Ahh yes - attack of the Golf Umbrella!

The Song Thrush

Jayzus.... don't get me started on the Umbrella Wars. It's like f***ing Star Wars except with umbrellas for lightsabres.
The worst is when I'm on a narrow path and walking right against a wall and when someone with an umbrella is coming in the oppo direction, I have no way of moving my umbrella out of the way cos of the wall but the arrogant sh**s still don't move theirs and we end up clashing and then they look at ME in disgust. :mad:

Raz

The worst are the guys with the golf umbrellas who don't actually realise how big their umbrella is.
Two examples,
1. Last autumn a guy was coming toward me with his super oversized golf umbrella. He was on the inside beside an 8ft wall. Enough space between us for him to get by. As he comes near I tilt my head away to ensure no impact between us.
Guy tries to be helpful and moves his umbrella further out of the way. Umbrella hits wall and bounces back hitting me in the corner of my eye. Good thing I had my head tilted! Was about to voice my strong objection but he quickly interjected an appology
2. Yesterday I stood in for a respite at that pub on the corner of Tara St. and Fleet st. I hadn't realised I was across the path from a lamppost. Besuited guy with golf umbrella walking down the path is completely oblivious to the size of his umbrella and walks it straight into the lamppost. The prongs of the umbrella passed right before my eyes. I reckon if I'd blinked at the right moment I would have hit them with my eyelashes!

Umbrellas should be banned!

whosurpaddy

Raz wrote:

The worst are the guys with the golf umbrellas who don't actually realise how big their umbrella is.
Two examples,
1. Last autumn a guy was coming toward me with his super oversized golf umbrella. He was on the inside beside an 8ft wall. Enough space between us for him to get by. As he comes near I tilt my head away to ensure no impact between us.
Guy tries to be helpful and moves his umbrella further out of the way. Umbrella hits wall and bounces back hitting me in the corner of my eye. Good thing I had my head tilted! Was about to voice my strong objection but he quickly interjected an appology
2. Yesterday I stood in for a respite at that pub on the corner of Tara St. and Fleet st. I hadn't realised I was across the path from a lamppost. Besuited guy with golf umbrella walking down the path is completely oblivious to the size of his umbrella and walks it straight into the lamppost. The prongs of the umbrella passed right before my eyes. I reckon if I'd blinked at the right moment I would have hit them with my eyelashes!

Umbrellas should be banned!

did part 2 there remind anyone of mission impossible with the eye and the knife?

dictatorcat

Raz wrote:

The worst are the guys with the golf umbrellas who don't actually realise how big their umbrella is.

Here Here! they think their umbrellas make them lords of the footpath so that we the lowly surfs with our discrete small umbrellas get pushed out of their way. Personally i think Freud would have had something to say about them

da_deadman

Umbrellas are just too dangerous. They could be weapons of mass destruction in the wrong hands. I'm surprised George Dubya Bush hasn't seen this possibility for this and banned all non-Americans from using them in the States.

I hate walking through the city centre when it's raining with all the women who don't raise their umbrellas, and the men in suits with their XL golf umbrellas. What's wrong with just getting wet?

Mossy Monk

umbrellas, lol. i'd be more worried about the scummers trolling the streets

Panda

i got an umbrella for my 21st.
stupid friend.

To be fair tho i blame the manufacturers, people are stupid.
Umbrellas have been around for a while.
You'd think by now that they'd have stopped putting those ****ing pointy ends on them.

Flukey

It is just the owners. After the war is over, you often see dead or injured umbrellas lying around or stuck in bins! The don't even get a decent burial, after all their hard work, battling, rain, wind and people!