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Some funny ones...

  • 20-08-2004 2:34pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 948 ✭✭✭


    http://www.bash.org/?top

    some good ones there... one of my favourites being this....


    Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
    Let's see the results...

    "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
    "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

    A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

    "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
    "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

    Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

    "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

    The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

    He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

    He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

    Ok
    I have found, definitive proof
    that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
    "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
    <melusine > O_______O
    Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

    Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

    'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.


Comments

  • Legal Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 5,400 Mod ✭✭✭✭Maximilian


    You have to love:

    <Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
    <Cthon98> ********* see!
    <AzureDiamond> hunter2
    <AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
    <Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
    <Cthon98> thats what I see
    <AzureDiamond> oh, really?
    <Cthon98> Absolutely
    <AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
    <AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
    <Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
    <AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
    <Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
    <AzureDiamond> awesome!
    <AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
    <Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
    <AzureDiamond> oh, ok.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 833 ✭✭✭Stormfox1020


    lololol "Wangtastic"! ... sorry just had to say it :confused:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 442 ✭✭Hello Kitty


    I posted this a while back!!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,191 ✭✭✭Unpossible


    <devils_trombone> Hey wana hear a funny story?
    <frogslegs> yep
    <Crazed_Cousin_Dougal> does it involve clowns and ninjas?
    <devils_trombone> no.
    <devils_trombone> Last wknd, me and sum mates were down at the pub, and we see this guy looking pretty pissed.
    <devils_trombone> Anyway, we hadn't drunk much, so we decided to be good people and drive this guy home.
    <Crazed_Cousin_Dougal> was he a clown/ninja?
    <devils_trombone> So we helped him up, and he fell over. Then we tried dragging him out and he kept falling over.
    <devils_trombone> So we drove him back to his place, and knocked on the door, and this woman answers (presumably his wife) and is all like: "Thanks boys, but where's his wheelchair?"

    this site is a gem


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 948 ✭✭✭dcGT


    Unpossible wrote:
    <devils_trombone> Hey wana hear a funny story?
    <frogslegs> yep
    <Crazed_Cousin_Dougal> does it involve clowns and ninjas?
    <devils_trombone> no.
    <devils_trombone> Last wknd, me and sum mates were down at the pub, and we see this guy looking pretty pissed.
    <devils_trombone> Anyway, we hadn't drunk much, so we decided to be good people and drive this guy home.
    <Crazed_Cousin_Dougal> was he a clown/ninja?
    <devils_trombone> So we helped him up, and he fell over. Then we tried dragging him out and he kept falling over.
    <devils_trombone> So we drove him back to his place, and knocked on the door, and this woman answers (presumably his wife) and is all like: "Thanks boys, but where's his wheelchair?"

    this site is a gem


    I missed that one......brilliant....

    DC.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,191 ✭✭✭Unpossible


    its in the latest, the site is a lot bigger than the page that constantly being posted here.


  • Registered Users Posts: 117 ✭✭pyxxel


    Maximilian wrote:
    <Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
    <Cthon98> ********* see!
    <AzureDiamond> hunter2
    <AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
    <Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
    <Cthon98> thats what I see
    <AzureDiamond> oh, really?

    Class!!


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