Do Women not know of the "Sprinkler" effect?

Paladin

Just saw a comment in a thread about guys pis$ing on the toilet seat like they have crooked cocks or something.
How stupid do girls think guys are?!?

Point of information:

If a guy accidentally pees outside the "correct" area of a toilet, its not (*usually*) because of bad aim or a crooked cock!
Sometimes its just comes out kinda funny with sort of a sprinkler off to the side or something. I guess the same thing doesnt really happen to circumcised people. This effect seems to be more common after sex btw

There. Us guys arent so stupid as to actually MISS with our piss. However when this happens its only right to get a bit of toilet paper and clean it up

vibrant

I'm so thrilled you shared this with us. Thanks for the enlightenment!

karlh

Lift Up The Fcuking Seat!

irlirishkev

.. And what girls don't notice, generally because they leave the seat down(!), is that they often spray the underside of the seat. This is just as gross as seeing p*ss on the seat when a guy hasn't put it up..

Sorry to be crude, but I didn't start it

Kevin.

Sleipnir

Ah but even with the seat up, some splashing may occur in the upright position.
Then again, if you do hit the seat and then need initiate a ballistic correction, wipe the fecking thing.

Some people really don't know how to use a toilet though.

_blank_

Paladin wrote:

I guess the same thing doesnt really happen to circumcised people.

I'm guessing you're un-circumsised then? Man, if you are getting this so-called "Sprinkler Affect", just pull back the oul foreskin so the japs-eye is not in contact with it, you'll get a much straighter line of piss this way.

Anyway, do all blokes not do this, or am I just weird?

(The things you can ask as an anonymous person! )

irlirishkev

sleipnir wrote:

Some people really don't know how to use a toilet though

What amazes me in this day and age, is how some dirty fecker in my office still goes into the cubicle, dribbles on the toilet seat, and doesn't wipe it up.. What a scumbag!

K.

seamus

seansouth wrote:

I'm guessing you're un-circumsised then? Man, if you are getting this so-called "Sprinkler Affect", just pull back the oul foreskin so the japs-eye is not in contact with it, you'll get a much straighter line of piss this way.

Anyway, do all blokes not do this, or am I just weird?

I don't anyway. Makes it worse, it goes everywhere in a fine mist.

Gf has told me that more often that not you go into a girls' toilets and you find piss on the upside of the seat, basically meaning that some dirty bints don't wipe before standing up/leaving.

Think about this the next time some random girl you've scored heads off to the loo

Going Demented

Uh lovely - Thanks for educating us women.

irlirishkev

seamus wrote:

Gf has told me that more often that not you go into a girls' toilets and you find piss on the upside of the seat, basically meaning that some dirty bints don't wipe before standing up/leaving

I shared a house with a girl who was guilty of this (I've shared with a few girls so i'm not being too blatent here..). It was manky. Mind you, she was a filthy bitch at the best of times..
I on the other hand, am perfect. :cool:

Kevin.

Going Demented

Some of the dirty f*cks don't ever bother to flush the toilet nevermind wipe!
They have put a sign up in the LADIES toilets where i work reminding people to flush the toilet! Manky! :mad:

Paladin

karlh wrote:

Lift Up The Fcuking Seat!

Well this applies to pee on the rim or floor also.

But yes, obviously people should wipe up if this happens. Pretty manky living in a house with 8 students who dont. UGH.

Sleipnir

I used to work in a nasty place in Wicklow about 10 years ago (open to the public) and I can say, hand on heart, that the women's toilets were FAR worse than the mens.

Some of the things I saw. Oh the horror..........

po0k

seansouth wrote:

(The things you can ask as an anonymous person!)

This is the internet.

Nothing you do or say is anonymous.

irlirishkev

Sleipnir wrote:

Some of the things I saw. Oh the horror..........

Care to elaborate?

GreeBo

SyxPak wrote:

This is the internet.

Internet, eh?
they have that on computers now, right?

Paladin

I worked in a night-club and had to clean toilets. The womens were way way worse than mens.

Care to elaborate?

Ugh no. Use your imagination. Women seem to have poorer control when sick

Hagar

Its hard enough trying to control this beast with only 2 hands, and you want accuracy as well

karma kabbage

Right, claim guilty on account of ill-advised aim (under drink influence) hope all noted my dodgy pun I'm enternally apologetic, really! But as for the rest?!? blerg!! Standards people!! Anyone?

Going Demented

Paladin wrote:

Women seem to have poorer control when sick

Ugh. I'm one of those. One night it was bad, very bad. Without going into details! Oh the shame. My puking aim has been perfect since but yes you are correct, poor control when sick (and drunk) is soooo true.

You see some sick things in ladies toilets thats for sure. But i can't compare to the mens loo's as i have only ever drunkenly staggered in and realised my mistake and bolted back out.

karma kabbage

Having thought about it though . . there might be a factor not considered. Now I don't want to make excuses, as that's not fair. But it has to be said that men's toilets are used less. Excluded the few clubs/pubs/buildings which have more ladies than mens facilities. Men have larger bladders and . . . well. . . . just don't go to the toilet as much as women do, offten in swarms. This could at least contribute to the messier state of womens rooms of an evening?

AdMMM

I just hate it in the morning when you go for a pi1ss, only to realise that its all shooting off to the left or right!

seamus

karma kabbage wrote:

Having thought about it though . . there might be a factor not considered. Now I don't want to make excuses, as that's not fair. But it has to be said that men's toilets are used less. Excluded the few clubs/pubs/buildings which have more ladies than mens facilities. Men have larger bladders and . . . well. . . . just don't go to the toilet as much as women do, offten in swarms. This could at least contribute to the messier state of womens rooms of an evening?

No, it's because women use toilets as salons. Men go into the toilet, leave their waste, wash their hands (most of the time) and leave.
Women go in, check themselves in the mirror. Have a brief chat to the friends thay came in with. Do their business, wash their hands, reapply makeup, chat more to friends, check and double-check makeup, comment on how bad their outfit makes them look, attempt to fix said non-existent flaw in garment, continue chatting, then leave.

They also leave behind much more waste in the form of cleansing wipes, powder puffs, tampons, empty makeup containers, etc.

Going Demented

seamus wrote:

Women go in, check themselves in the mirror. Have a brief chat to the friends thay came in with. Do their business, wash their hands, reapply makeup, chat more to friends, check and double-check makeup, comment on how bad their outfit makes them look, attempt to fix said non-existent flaw in garment, continue chatting, then leave..

Before we can leave after doing all that we need to use the toilet again!


What you've said is pretty close for the start of the night but for me anyway after a few drinks i have to use the bathroom every 15 minutes at least so it's get in there, do the business, wash the hands, get out.

Suaimhneach

My aunt has two little boys, and to help them aim right, she bought one of these little ball thingies that some woman in america made millions off. Basically its a ball, that floats in the toilet and the man peeing has to aim at it.

Granted a cork from a wine bottle or something would do the same trick rather than buying it from some american person.

But basically, turning peeing into a game, and giving them [blokes, and kids] something to concentrate on, the peeing on the seat stopoed. Even for the two kids dad!

Scruff

that sound like fun, must get one!
i know that when ever i had to go for a piss in a pub etc i used always try and break up and cigarettes in the urinal with my piss and wash them down the plug whole. was very entertaining altogether, alot of factors like power, accuracy, direction and splash back to take in to account. Not to mention if it was a trough urinal you had also to watch out how enthusiastis ye got when other people were using it as well! but ever since the smoking ban, going for a piss has not been the same, bits of chewing gum and paper just arent as much fun

seamus

Scruff wrote:

Not to mention if it was a trough urinal you had also to watch out how enthusiastis ye got when other people were using it as well! but ever since the smoking ban, going for a piss has not been the same, bits of chewing gum and paper just arent as much fun

Trough urinals are the spawn of the devil.

Ladies, just be glad you never have to use one of these. Invariably it will get clogged up by the guy who decided to puke in it, or someone moron will piss perfectly horizontally against it, causing a sprinkling splashback which doesn't touch him, but goes all over the two poor sods who have to stand beside him, and spend the next 5 minutes washing their entire arms.

HashSlinging

why can't you just sit when you take a piss.... ??

handy when your rolling a dube... :cool:

irlirishkev

hashslinging wrote:

handy when your rolling a dube...

Nice...
Do you scratch your balls aswell, just before breaking up the ingredients.. with the same finger

K.

shiv

Hagar wrote:

Its hard enough trying to control this beast with only 2 hands, and you want accuracy as well

and here i thought it was just like a really big toe..

Blisterman

The worst are urinals with splashback, this is where the urinal is angled in such a way, that the piss sprays off it onto your pants. The trick is to aim sideways. Not when someone else is beside you though.

dubhthach

Whiz ATD (All Terrain Urine Director) for women

http://theinquirer.net/?article=18128

Of interest is where she mentions forgetting to lift the toilet seat

Esel

Scruff wrote:

......i used always try and break up and cigarettes in the urinal with my piss and wash them down the plug whole.....(

Puzzled...if you broke them up, how could you wash them down whole?

Victor

karma kabbage wrote:

Men have larger bladders and . . . well. . . . just don't go to the toilet as much as women do, offten in swarms.

Men also have longer urethras and have prostrates. Gives that little extra bit of protection.

seamus wrote:

No, it's because women use toilets as salons. Men go into the toilet, leave their waste, wash their hands (most of the time) and leave. Women go in, check themselves in the mirror. Have a brief chat to the friends thay came in with. Do their business, wash their hands, reapply makeup, chat more to friends, check and double-check makeup, comment on how bad their outfit makes them look, attempt to fix said non-existent flaw in garment, continue chatting, then leave. They also leave behind much more waste in the form of cleansing wipes, powder puffs, tampons, empty makeup containers, etc.

You forget utterly vast quantities of tissue paper.

SantaHoe

Yeah I've had to clean the ladies toilet years ago in some crap job I had... utterly disgusting, almost bad enough to turn you off women forever.
The worst you'd find in the mens would be a wet floor from widdle splash-back, then mucky boots shatting it up, the occasional puddle of puke, or the odd spoon used by some junkie to cook-up the gear... or the rare but always hillarious and mysterious hole bored into the wooden wall dividing cubicles... now wheather they used this as a peeping hole, or they stuck thier winky through it I have no idea, but taking all this into account - the womens toilet was still worse.

SantaHoe

seansouth wrote:

Anyway, do all blokes not do this, or am I just weird?

Not usualy, although I agree that it really does straighten the jet nicely.
A must-have when you're wearing white trousers and can't afford even the slightest sprinkle or dribble.
And God help you if they don't have hand driers in the toilets, towels and toilet paper are useless... or so I've heard

Ste-

seamus wrote:

Women go in, check themselves in the mirror. Have a brief chat to the friends thay came in with. Do their business, wash their hands, reapply makeup, chat more to friends, check and double-check makeup, comment on how bad their outfit makes them look, attempt to fix said non-existent flaw in garment, continue chatting, then leave.

I've seen some blokes do this.
Altho not fixing their makeup but instead fixing their hair, reapplying hairgel or whatever.
It's even more fun to mess up their hair as they leave the toilet.

Jamesobrady

Yeah i have to agree with the x-cleaners.
I worked in Intel on the top floor a few years ago..which was all the executives and their secretaries at the time. God knows what it is now they do so much building. Women were just less inclined to flush and do other gender-specific tasks in a hygenic way. Nuff said.

Its funny but you get to know who's pregnant and stuff by their behaviour every day. If there was money in that i would have been rich!
Guys were bad.....really bad too....but they copped onto something the women didn't.....that i saw everything people did....women never copped that in the time it took them to come out of the cubicle, apply make -up,fix hair and wash hands i would be cleaning the cubicle they were in. And would be aware of the state that person left it in.And that i would see them every day and remember them as "the attractive girl who can't wipe anything". Guys just stayed in the cubicle till you finished and then they left after you. Wierd sense to that actually. You could smell it, but not put a face to it.

Hated that job needless to say....also how dumb are people to come into the jacks when there's a sign blocking the door and a male cleaner in a female toilets ?
I though they were attracted to me...nope...just dumb.

SantaHoe

Women leave more floaters than men, there I said it.

Flukey

When I am finished having a pee I always wipe the top of the bowl to get rid of anything that might be there. Finding floaters or a dirty loo is not very nice, so I always try to leave it clean when I am finished. If I find one myself, I would also try to leave it clean, even if that means wiping something off the inside of the bowl. "Yeuch! I wouldn't touch that," I can hear a lot of people scream. Hold on though, the only thing I am touching is a piece of tissue, so what is the problem? You don't have to touch anything, in order to clean it. It is no big deal. I am not afraid of touching a bit of toilet paper so there is no big deal in cleaning something, whether it is my own doing or someone elses. You do a lot worse as you wipe your arse and even then you rarely touch anything. Of course you still wash your hands afterwards, as I do, so again there is no problem. So even if it isn't your own, clean it up when you are finished!

pickarooney

Flukey wrote:

I am not afraid of touching a bit of toilet paper so there is no big deal in cleaning something,

But everyone on the entire internet knows that poo molecules transpierce TEN LAYERS of TP!

Blitzkrieger

Women are the worst! They always wet the toilet seat. Then the next time they use it they probably blame men for not lifting the seat.

There's some scummy ****ers where I work though. There's some asshole who goes into the cubicles for a piss, then pisses all over the seat. At least lift it up ffs. Don't get me started on the guy who wipes his hands on the towel after a piss without washing his hands.

Flukey

Well sometimes it is possible to have a pee without having to touch anything. So although you would always do so, there are occasions where it would not be necessary to wash your hands.

sinjin_smythe

Jesjes wrote:

My aunt has two little boys, and to help them aim right, she bought one of these little ball thingies that some woman in america made millions off. Basically its a ball, that floats in the toilet and the man peeing has to aim at it.

Granted a cork from a wine bottle or something would do the same trick rather than buying it from some american person.

But basically, turning peeing into a game, and giving them [blokes, and kids] something to concentrate on, the peeing on the seat stopoed. Even for the two kids dad!

Yeah Sounds fun and all but did anyone think of the consequences ?lets say a kid hits the target and a wave of backlash comes back at him (its possible).Thats a safety hazard

Flukey

A mac and goggles should solve that!

nlgbbbblth

someone at work (about 25 in the building) often drops a load in the toilet and doesn't flush it and must throw the used toilet paper into another cubicle as there usually isn't any floating with his crap

he usually leaves the seat down so when you lift it up you get a nasty shock - scumbag

Moriarty

You're presuming that they wipe at all..

nlgbbbblth

worst I ever saw was in Kilburn in 1997

Irish pub;
trough urinal; one cubicle - which was blocked

went in there late one evening to be confronted by a man in his 50s crapping in the trough urinal (pebble dash / rusty water) - and get this! - wiping it down with his hand so that it would fall to the bottom of the urinal and be washed away

Flukey

Is it just the loo? It may not be any one individual. Some toilets have a very poor flush and make it difficult to get rid of everything. It may be that. Maybe a slight adjustment to the ballcock could be made to let it fill a bit more. If you do find something in it, the thing to do is flush it yourself and throw a bit of loo paper over the offending item(s) before you do, to help it be dragged down. I never leave a loo with anything in it. Sometimes you just have to wait there and flush it again and maybe again after that too.

dazberry

nlgbbbblth wrote:

went in there late one evening to be confronted by a man in his 50s crapping in the trough urinal (pebble dash / rusty water) - and get this! - wiping it down with his hand so that it would fall to the bottom of the urinal and be washed away

That's pretty grim (to put it mildly). Where my mother works - a guy having a shower decided to have a dump at the same time and pushed (squeezed?) it down the plug hole (no pun intended) with this toe. This was seen by another male member of staff - and the guy just shugged and said - ah well sometimes you have to go. I believe this guy also has a tendency to scratch his posterior and then smell his finger - in public - in plain view. There have been complaints about this by members of the public - but this is the civil? service - so he still works there - sigh.

But back on topic - I walked into the office of two female collegues a few years ago as one was moaning about her hubbies mates (over for the football + beer) managing to p1ss all over the downstairs loo's floor. Now because I was the only male in proximity I sort of got corned for those crimes. As I explained - you point it one way - it doesn't always go that way. Even if it does, sometimes it forks (its the first second - regardless of stops and restarts). One thing they just couldn't seem to get was that it doesn't always go the way you point it - they think it works like a garden hose.

But sure even at home - if someone has a shower and the shower head is pointing a certain way - the water will splash under the curtain outside the tray onto the ground - and you might not even notice. The shower is beside the throne and my mother still thinks that its me pissing on the floor - although I've explained it 10 times, and am in the habit of cleaning up any forks

D.

Caesar_Bojangle

I never miss when I piss