Homer Quotes!

climaxer

Homer Quotes

Homer: I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me,Superman

Homer: Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

Lisa: Dad, what's a Muppet?
Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, it's not quite a puppet, but man... [laughs hysterically] So to answer your question, I don't know.

Homer: God bless those pagans.

Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals...except the weasel.

Homer Jay Simpson: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."


Marge: I think we're going to need a bigger place.
Homer: No, we don't. I've got it all figured out.The baby can have Bart's room and Bart can sleep with us until he's 21.
Marge: Won't that warp him?
Homer: My cousin Frank did it.
Marge: You don't have a cousin Frank.
Homer: He became Francine in '76. Then he joined that cult. I think his name is Mother Shabubu now

Homer: So I says, blue M&M, red M&M, they all wind up the same color in the end.

Homer: Maybe, just once, someone will call me "sir" without adding, "you're making a scene."

Homer: Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening

Homer: It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

Homer's brain: Use reverse psychology.
Homer: Oh, that sounds too complicated.
Homer's brain: Okay, don't use reverse psychology.
Homer: Okay, I will!

Homer: When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany,like that movie Spaceballs. But instead it was dark and disturbing. Like that movie-Police Academy.

Newspaper editor: We're looking for a new food critic,someone who doesn't immediately pooh-pooh everything he eats.
Homer: Nah, it usually takes a few hours.

Homer: God, if you really are God, you'll get me tickets to that game. [doorbell rings] Ned Flanders: Heidely-ho, neighbor. Wanna go to the game with me? I got two
tick-
Homer: [slams the door, looks heavenward] Why do you mock me, O Lord?
Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there. [Marge scrapes it off the ceiling into Homer's hands]
Homer: I know I shouldn't eat thee, but --[bites] Mmm, sacrilicious.


Homer: There, there, Bart. If something's hard,then it's not worth doing


Homer: Ah, Andy Capp, you wife-beating drunk.

Homer's ghost: Marge you gotta help me, I have to do one good deed to get into heaven.
Marge: Well I got a whole list of chores: clean the garage, paint the house... Homer's ghost: Whoa whoa whoa. I'm just trying to get in, I'm not running for Jesus

[Ned and Homer are driving in a snowstorm.]
Ned Flanders: Homer, we just hit something!
Homer: Ooooooh, I hope it was Flanders

Kone

Brilliant!

airetam_storm

That man is legend!

Buck Owens

Adding
Stealing!!! How could you??!! have,nt you learded anything from that guy who gives those sermons at Church, Captain whatshisname??? We live in a socity of laws. Why do you think I brouht you to all those Police Academy? movies for fun? Well I did,nt hear anyone laughing did you?
Except at that guy who made those sound effects

So Mr. Molloy, it seems that the cat has been caught by the very person that was trying to catch him.

Lisa if the bible has though us anything (and it has'nt) it's that girls should stick to girls sports like, hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing and such and such