Great GAA Quotes

Okie

1. I love Cork so much that if I caught one of their hurlers in bed
with my missus, I'd tiptoe downstairs and make him a cup of tea"- Joe
Lynch, actor.


2. "We've won one All-Ireland in a row"-Wexford Fan in 1996.


3. "The toughest match I ever heard off was the 1935 All-Ireland
Semi-Final. After 6 minutes, the ball ricocheted off a post and went
into the stand. The pulling continued relentlessly and it was 22 minutes
before any of the players noticed the ball was missing" - Michael Smith.


4. "Sylvie Linnane would start a riot in a graveyard"-Tipp fan on
the Galway legend.

5. "I'm not giving away any secrets like that to Tipperary. If I
had my way, I wouldn't even tell them the time of the throw-in" - Ger
Loughnane.

6. "He's like Lazarus; but Lazarus didn't have such a sweet right
boot"-Micheal O'Muircheartaigh on Colin Corkery.

7. "Whenever a team loses, there's always a row at half time but
when they win, it's an inspirational speech"-John O'Mahony.

8. "There are 2 things in Ireland that would drive you to drink.
GAA referees would drive you to drink, and the price of drink would drive
you to drink"-Sligo Fan after 2002 Connact final.


9. 'Life isn't all beer and football...some of us haven't touched a
football in months' - Kerry player during league campaign 1980s

10. "When my friends were besotted with Jason Donovan, my heroes
were Colm O'Rourke and Barney Rock"-Sue Ramsbottom (Laois Ladies Captain).

11. 'We're taking this match awful seriously. We're training three
times a week now, and some of the boys are off the beer since Tuesday' -
Offaly hurler quote in the week before a Leinster hurling final vs.
Kilkenny


12. 'Ger Loughnane was fair, he treated us all the same during
training-like dogs' -anonymous Clare hurler

13. 'Any chance of an autograph? Its for the wife...she really hates
you' - Tipp fan to Ger Loughnane

14. 'You can't win derbies with donkeys' - Babs Keating before Tipp
played Cork in 1990

15. 'Sheep in a heap' -Babs Keating description of Offaly in 1998


16. 'Babs Keating 'resigned' as coach because of illness and
fatigue. The players were sick and tired of him' - Offaly fan in 1998

17. 'And as for you. You're not even good enough to play for this
shower of useless no-hopers' - Former Clare mentor to one of his subs after a
heavy defeat


18. 'Babs Keating was arrested in Nenagh for shaking a cigarette
machine,but the gardai let him off when he said he only wanted to borrow
twenty players' - Waterford fan after 2002 Munster final


19. 'They have a forward line that couldn't punch holes in a paper
bag'
* Pat Spillane on the Cavan football team


20. 'Meath players like to get their retaliation in first' -
Cork fan 1988

21. 'Meath make football a colourful game-you get all black and
blue'
* another Cork fan 1988


22. 'Colin Corkery is deceptive. He is slower than he looks' - Kerry
fan




Subject: FW: Micheal O Muircheartaigh masterpieces

"In the first half they played with the wind. In the second half they
played with the ball."


"... and Brian Dooher is down injured. And while he is, i'll tell ye a
little story. I was in Times' Square in New York last week, and I was
missing the Championship back home. So I approached a newsstand and I
said 'I suppose ye wouldn't have the Kerryman (Paper) would ye?' To
which, the Egyptian behind the counter turned to me and he said 'do you
want the North Kerry edition or the South Kerry edition?'... he had
both...so I bought both. And Dooher is back on his feet..."

"Anthony Lynch the Cork corner back will be the last person to let you
down
* his people are undertakers."


"I saw a few Sligo people at Mass in Gardiner street this morning and
the omens seem to be good for them, the priest was wearing the same
colours as the Sligo jersey! 40 yards out on the Hogan stand side of the
field Ciaran Whelan goes on a rampage, it's a goal. So much for
religion."


Colin Corkery on the 45 lets go with the right boot. Its over the bar.
This man shouldn't be playing football. He's made an almost Lazarus-like
recovery from a heart condition. Lazarus was a great man but he couldn't
kick points like Colin Corkery."


"1-5 to 0-8.. well from Lapland to the Antarctic, that's level scores in
any man's language."


"Pat Fox has it on his hurl and is motoring well now... but here comes
Joe Rabbitte hot on his tail ...... I've seen it all now, a Rabbitte
chasing a Fox around Croke Park!"


"I see John O Donnell dispensing water on the sideline. Tipperary,
sponsored by a water company. Cork sponsored by a tae company. I wonder
will they meet later for afternoon tae."


"Teddy looks at the ball, the ball looks at Teddy"

"Danny "The Yank" Culloty. He came down from the mountains and hasn't he
done well."


"He grabs the sliotar, he's on the 50...... he's on
the 40.... he's on the 30.......... he's on the ground"
>
"He kicks the ball lan san aer, could've been a goal, could've been a
point...... it went wide."


"Stephen Byrne with the puck out for Offaly....Stephen, one of 12....all
but one are here to-day, the one that's missing is Mary, she's at home
minding the house..... and the ball is dropping i lar na bpairce...."


"Pat Fox out to the forty and grabs the sliothar, I bought a dog from
his father last week. Fox turns and sprints for goal, the dog ran a
great race last Tuesday in Limerick. Fox to the 21 fires a shot, it goes
to the left and wide..... and the dog lost as well."


"Sean Og o Hailpin.... his father's from Fermanagh, his mother's from
Fiji, neither a hurling stronghold."


"Teddy McCarthy to John McCarthy, no relation, John McCarthy back to
Teddy McCarthy, still no relation. "

stagolee

i have to start watching hurling that michael o muircheartaigh bloke is bloody hilarious

netwhizkid

19. 'They have a forward line that couldn't punch holes in a paper
bag'
* Pat Spillane on the Cavan football team

And not forgetting,
Pat's 2002 All-Ireland Final half time remarks about Armagh's Francis Bellew, he said " Francie is so slow, my mother has arthritis in one hip but do you know what, i think she'd be faster than him !!!
He thought us "Kerry" had it in the bag, I did too, Unfortunatly Ah well at least northern negative football died for this year anyway.

Regards netwhizkid

Big Ears

"Sean Og o Hailpin.... his father's from Fermanagh, his mother's from
Fiji, neither a hurling stronghold."


lol

Jaeger

Had to stop reading these half way through earlier on this morning. Was holding in laughs in work, definitely would have failed if I'd kept reading. As it was people were glancing over at me the whole time wondering how funny technical support is supposed to be.

Funniest post I've ever read in here, thanks

3. "The toughest match I ever heard off was the 1935 All-Ireland
Semi-Final. After 6 minutes, the ball ricocheted off a post and went
into the stand. The pulling continued relentlessly and it was 22 minutes
before any of the players noticed the ball was missing" - Michael Smith.

ROFL!

de5p0i1er

Brillant, gotta love the GAA. They always make me laugh.