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  • 21-09-2004 3:24pm
    #1
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭


    A doctor had just finished a marathon sex session with one of his patients.
    He was resting afterwards and was feeling a bit guilty because he thought
    it wasn't really ethical to screw one of his patients.

    However, a little voice in his head said "Lots of other doctors have sex with their patients,..... so it's not like you're the first..."

    This made the doctor feel a little bit better until still another voice in his head said, "but then again..... They probably weren't veterinarians"


    A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing only underwear made of Cling Film, the psychiatrist says, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."

    Q: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    A: One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact a that they've been in the SAME GODDAMN CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, THREE DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT, AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!# % LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY? BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE ****ING HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS...

    I'm sorry...what did you ask me?


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