Once apon a time...

jono087 · 02-10-2004 6:18pm

you *string of expletives* accompanied by a wild swing aimed at my upper torso....

Shiney · 02-10-2004 6:24pm

missing me completely and hitting Gollum who was sitting on my shoulder. then Gollum...

StupidLikeAFox · 02-10-2004 6:27pm

said i cant believe that guy killed that snail.....

Shiney · 02-10-2004 6:35pm

i would've fed him to my pet hobbits.
What's that around your neck. It's my prrrrrecioussssssssss ............

emptyspoon · 02-10-2004 7:13pm

..handy book of Winnie the Pooh anagrams. Then he jumped off my shoulder into a pile of horses. And then I continued to walk down the street until...

Shiney · 02-10-2004 7:30pm

i got hit by a school bus driven by principal Skinner and Bart Simpson stuck his head out of the window and shouted:".....

Stephen Forde · 02-10-2004 7:36pm

... i bet u like pie?? which then i replied indubitably and thought...

pinkpimp · 02-10-2004 7:39pm

'I'm still locked in the joy,' so i made a deal with my cell mate that if he could get me out of here i'd give him...

emptyspoon · 02-10-2004 7:46pm

...back half of his superman tshirt. And so he only let half of me out. So while he acted out scenes from Romeo and Juliet with my legs, I pulled my torso out of jail and back onto the street. Where I saw...

Stephen Forde · 02-10-2004 7:48pm

.. a shot of my own freshly made poteen that i made in my room under the stairs that i bring with me everywhere, which made me think what a nice person i am and...

Shiney · 02-10-2004 7:52pm

declared myself president of America but all of a sudden George Bush ran up to me and...

Stephen Forde · 02-10-2004 7:54pm

offered me his last rolo.Which in turn made a gigantic tear trail dont my face and then down my neck and then down my chest where it...

Shiney · 02-10-2004 7:58pm

bore through me skin and all of a sudden a massive horse chestnut tree grew out of my heart with money growing on it. "hey money does grow on trees"
i exclaimed and bought myself a .....

pinkpimp · 02-10-2004 8:07pm

nice bit of sanity, because this story needs some. Anyway, I asked yoda to use the force to get my legs back and he said...

Raphael · 02-10-2004 8:09pm

No

So I died of massive blood loss

THE END

Shiney · 02-10-2004 8:11pm

but then Yoda used the force and filled me with blood again but it was not blood but some substitute chemical which had side effects such as

pinkpimp · 02-10-2004 8:13pm

none at all, and i realised i hadnt died, and it wasnt yoda, just some old lady...

Shiney · 02-10-2004 8:22pm

who looked strangly familiar to the old woman in Donnie Darko when all of a sudden i realised i was in some sort of twilight zone. but then i remembered i was incredibly drunk and.......

pinkpimp · 02-10-2004 8:34pm

stoned, but it was all above board, because i am of legal age, and was in amsterdam...

emptyspoon · 02-10-2004 8:34pm

...and then I got a little bit more pissed so things would make even less sense. And then a saw Gollum living in his pile of horses, and I thought this story could really do with more Gollum so I...

pinkpimp · 02-10-2004 8:36pm

took a wizz against a fridge...

gigglingrat · 02-10-2004 8:38pm

...and Gollum got mad, cos it was his fridge. So he brought me to the public toliets and showed me how its done. Then he said ''Man is born free, but everywhere is in chains. Smash the cistern.'' So I did, and the water went....

emptyspoon · 02-10-2004 8:40pm

..went up my left nostil at a speed of 146 miles per mili-second. It hurt so I took some pills. And then some more. And then Gollum left to...

the_only_Ali · 02-10-2004 8:43pm

I wasn't in a twilight zone at all, it was just really dark because my eyes had ceased to function due to my lack of vitamin A. So I decided I needed new eyes, drunkenly clawed my old ones out of their sockets, and...

Shiney · 02-10-2004 8:43pm

and got new glass eyes and then i took out some lembas bread, stuffed it down Gollums throat and laughed hysterically as he choked. but then Legolas and fellow elves got angry cause i was 'disrespectful' towards their sacred elven bread and.....

pinkpimp · 02-10-2004 8:48pm

one thing led to another, and before i knew it, Orlando was inviting me back to his place, so i...

StupidLikeAFox · 02-10-2004 9:02pm

gave him the rolo i got off dubya, and we went back and got down to some

[SCENE MISSING]

The next morning....

pinkpimp · 02-10-2004 9:07pm

i rolled out of orlandos bed, all sticky, and regretted eating...

Shiney · 02-10-2004 9:11pm

the elephant from the old rolo ad and .....

Matthewthebig · 02-10-2004 9:16pm

realised that i was the chosen one. that is the chosen one of the guild of banana salesmen/women

Once apon a time...

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