Socks offender

Zaphod B

I admit it, I have a problem. There is no cure for my disease, somewhere in my genetic makeup I am just predisposed to evil. I am on a socks offenders register. Angry mobs of fashionable people everywhere are intent on hunting me down...

That's right, I wear white socks.
Before you string me up from the nearest tree by one of my inexpensive practical cotton foot-covering articles, allow me to defend myself.

I have always worn white socks. I blame my parents; as a child they cruelly bought me white socks from sports stores, and it was probably here that my foul perversion developed. Moving on into my teen years, I persisted in wearing trainers and sneakers casually, and in my twisted mind I rationalised that white socks would be most appropriate for use inside white footwear.
By now my fate was sealed, I would forever be a footwear deviant.

It was only recently that I have been forced to confront the vile beast within my soul, to realise the error of my ways. At a party I overheard the words "Never trust a man in white socks"... the voice spoke with such reason, such clarity, that in that moment I realised the incontestable truth. The voice of reason, nay, the voice of God had spoken to me.

Yet it was not enough. My conscience, my moral compass was not strong enough to overcome the dark forces telling me, each morning, to don those evil garments. Those satanic vestments, their inherent evil disguised behind a clean white veneer, just as Lucifer himself will take the form we least expect in his attempts to seduce us.

Now I walk the streets a tormented man, knowing my sin and yet unable to stop it. I practice this wickedness not behind closed doors, but in public, exposing men, women and children alike to the horrors of what lies between my feet and shoes. Have I no shame? But... surely there is still hope for me? As I go about my days, from time to time I still hear those words, "Never trust a man in white socks"... They may be spoken by many different women, sometimes even by men, but I know that the words come not from those people but from some higher power, telling me I may still find salvation if only I consign the infernal socks to the fire and go buy some nice brown ones instead.

...........

OK now really, what the flying **** is wrong with white socks? They're cheap, they make colour co-ordination easy and you know when they're dirty. Someone please, please explain it, before I go totally bonkers and end up assassinating a world leader with the words "Rights for whites!" on my lips as I am gunned down by secret service agents.

Optikus

I wear white socks, always have done. Since when has it been unfashionable. If your referrring to the pub song "i see white socks" then i would not be to worried
As people who actually sit there and listen to this type of crap, must have serious I.Q shortages and as for people who enforce the anti white sock rule... i wouldnt even comment on.

simu

Dirt shows up less on black socks plus they also match all colours.

But if you like white socks, by all means wear them.

Sarky

I am currently wearing socks that DON'T MATCH.

Go on, call the police. I don't care.

tony 2 tone

Optikus wrote:

I wear white socks, always have done. Since when has it been unfashionable.

You didn't get the memo then?

Canis Lupus

white socks are okayish unless yur wearing black shoes... but in fairness its not hard to just buy a different colored pair of socks

bringitdown

What are socks?

Makaveli

Michael Jackson wore white socks with shoes, look at the trouble he's in now...

Optikus

Makaveli wrote:

Michael Jackson wore white socks with shoes, look at the trouble he's in now...

LOL

daveirl

This post has been deleted.

Karl Hungus

You should wear multicoloured toe socks. It's the ONLY way!

Pigman II

daveirl wrote:

This post has been deleted.

Agreed
http://www.bluffton.edu/sports/volleyball/bigvolleyball.jpg (works better if you ignore player #1! :eek: )

Optikus

tony 2 tone wrote:

You didn't get the memo then?

What memo?

littleninja

Doesn't matter what colour your socks are as long as you are comfortable wearing them tbh, however, white socks with black shoes (Especially new black shoes/runners) tend to get dyed in the rain or something if you're caught out in bad weather etc for long periods.

Having said that I tend to wear mostly black or multicoloured socks having had to wear white socks all through school as part of the school uniform

Flukey

Myself and a friend were once refused entry to a night club because we both happened to be wearing white socks. We weren't a member of any gang or anything like that, so we thought it a bit strange.

aidan_dunne

Flukey wrote:

Myself and a friend were once refused entry to a night club because we both happened to be wearing white socks. We weren't a member of any gang or anything like that, so we thought it a bit strange.

Well, if you ever see the film "The Van", just before Bimbo and Larry head into the nightclub they spot the bouncers outside on the door and Larry suddenly panics and asks Bimbo "Are you wearing white socks?"

Bimbo: "What?"

Larry: "What coloured socks are you wearing?"

Bimbo: "Ummm, black I think. Why? What difference does it make if I'm wearing white socks?"

Larry: "Because only **** and bollixes wear white socks. They won't let you in if you're wearing white socks."

So, it must be a general thing bouncers have about people who try to get in that are wearing white socks. They must class you as a "wanker" or a "bollix"!

As for myself, no, I don't wear white socks. Usually dark colours like black, blue or grey for me.

Rozabeez

teehee, my friend wears white socks with her black dolly shoes...to get the Micheal Jackson effect! its hillarious looking!

pickarooney

I've a penchant for Simpsons characters on my footwear, but my friends say it's okay to be a homer-socksual.

Flukey

Rozabeez wrote:

teehee, my friend wears white socks with her black dolly shoes...to get the Micheal Jackson effect! its hillarious looking!

Ah, but I bet she is not made of plastic!

NotMe

Zaphod B wrote:

They're cheap, they make colour co-ordination easy and you know when they're dirty.

Yeah but black socks are cheap, they also make colour co-ordination easy (more so than white socks) and you DON'T know when they're dirty.

ferdi

if white socks were good enough for these guys, there good enough for me




Miami Vice 4eva :cool:

rainbow kirby

I'm wearing mismatched Penneys stripey socks at the moment, one red, one blue. I can't stand white socks, but I love rainbow coloured ones.
*looks at username*
*runs*