Morning disaster

Naos

So I've been on piss since last night and am now VERY VERY tired. But going to cinema at half 2, so no sleep for me!

Sorta realised as i sobered a bit, i was covered in mustard. Now i dont eat mustard, but i must have got it on a hot dog. Hands were stained in it. Was allover my jeans and shirt.

sigh. seriously, cant type more, in library and sniggering out loud at this, just remembering. god i've to leave the comp now actually.

whats the worst stains(caused by drink/drugs) u ever awoke to, 'dreams' aside??

aidan_walsh

So, you're sitting in a library, half cut, covered in mustard, telling the internet about it.

Fair enough.

ixoy

Mear wrote:

Sorta realised as i sobered a bit, i was covered in mustard. Now i dont eat mustard, but i must have got it on a hot dog. Hands were stained in it. Was allover my jeans and shirt.

I think you should tell them all about this on the Mustard forum. Sounds like you had a naughty time with th mustard stuff that some of the forum readers might appreciate. "Hot dog" indeed

aidan_walsh

As Brendan O'Carroll would put it... "That wasn't butter..."

NeMiSiS

I woke up in a ditch covered in frost.
Also, you must have an awful hard life.. between drinking and cinema at two in the day.

Tom

*Page*

after a very crazy nite of heavy drinking and black outs i woke to
my white top covering in wax red and blue after shock wat looked like vomit grass stains muc and a snail and his little trail..... never did i find my tights or my partners socks??
definitly think that was a great nite only thing is neither me or my partner remember vomiting....

climaxer

drshortass wrote:

after a very crazy nite of heavy drinking and black outs i woke to
my white top covering in wax red and blue after shock wat looked like vomit grass stains muc and a snail and his little trail..... never did i find my tights or my partners socks??
definitly think that was a great nite only thing is neither me or my partner remember vomiting....

V funny this reminds me of a discussion I had with my mates a few weeks ago. We realised that most people when drunk fit into two categories ie. they are the losers or the gainers. I am a loser and always end up losing something. I must have around 50 coats left in nightclub cloakrooms over the last few years. Most recent I left there was a lovely lemon jumper and had lost the ticket as usual and at the end of the night see the queue and saw f**k it I'm not waiting. I came home one night with only one shoe. We were all dancing barefoot on the dancefloor (seemed a great idea at the time ) and I lost my shoe! My cousin on the other hand always manages to bring something home with him from the pub - ashtrays, a jacket thats not his, lighters, a clock, a traffic cone and one morning my aunt woke up and looked out the window to see a for sale sign he had took from someone else's garden in her garden!

Mear are you sure its mustard?!

Stark

You've contracted a rare STD (or STI rather, they've a new range for a new age) and that "mustard" you speak of is it fact your semen. Burns like mustard too as it passes through your urethra I bet.

Swarfboy

a long long time ago when the drugs were really strong I had the worst blackout of my life.......it was at a friends house who had a party while his family were away on holiday... being the first to pass out I ended up bagging the best bed.... his little sisters room.......
I awoke sometime at 7.30 to a sight of sheer horror... The bed, the carpet and the door was cover in sh*te.. and yes it was my own.........
never lived that one down....... :eek:

petals

tee hee bless the mustard guy that's funny

pork99

NeMiSiS wrote:

I woke up in a ditch covered in frost.
Also, you must have an awful hard life.. between drinking and cinema at two in the day.

Tom

You owe your life to this country's temperate climate.

Apparently in Russia a fair number of people die every winter because they go out and get hammered and on the way home think a snowdrift looks like a nice place for a nap. Of course they never get up again.

impr0v

And following the break, we'll have a comment from a department of health spokesperson.

woosaysdan

i once went to the toilet in an elevator before and apparently got sick into a fireplace!!!

ToxicPaddy

NeMiSiS wrote:

I woke up in a ditch covered in frost.

A mate of mine I went to school with used to do this on a regular basis, when
he was out on the tear at the weekends, he'd usually drink every penny he
had with him and this wasnt a good idea as he lived about 6 miles from that
town out in the country.

So he's start to stagger home and after a while would get tired and find the
closest ditch, jump into it and fall asleep... Next morning, when he woke up,
he'd get up and walk home as normal..

Never could figure out how he never stung the living sh*te outta himself with
briars and such.. :rolleyes:

Tox

sanncoo

In my first summer break up at my last job, I got so drunk on those small bottle of wine that i stumbled home without my keys. I was locked out of my apartment and my flatmate was working shift....

Needless to say the 'poison' wanted to come up and the only place to puke was in my handbag..........my flatmate found me passed out on the steps clutching my bag of puke with a vice like grip..........

I haven't touched white wine since..........red wine now that's a different story!

Canis Lupus

and they say ireland has a drink problem i got legless drunk back in the days when i was too young to be drinking... "snuck" back into the house like a ninja... well i thought so.... it was more like managed to fall up a flight of steps and wake the house and then go to bed and then get up and leave a trail of vomit to the toilet.

on the other hand i remember a really cool time when i rushed out at the last minutre before the bars closed, got i dunno... 6 cans of beer and downed them... went home sober, went to sleep sober.. got up a little later dying for a piss and fell down 5 steps cos i didnt realise i was then drunk...

and finally one time i was up a mountain pissed as a fart (dont ask)... went behind a boulder to light me smoke cept there was no ground behind the boulder and i promptly fell off the mountain.... well i slid for a good few feet in the scariest moment of my life. anyone notice that u never hurt yurself when drunk? had i done the same thing with the mountain when sober id have probably broken every bone in me body.

sanncoo

LOL! Canis L....that's funny!

Re the fall down thing.....my friends and I were doing the bucks fizz dance another night....don't ask..where you run into someones arms and they dip you......I fell fell face first onto cobbles and she banged her head!

have no recollection of making it back to my apartment, just remember ringing 'a' doorbell and my neighbours answering....don't know how that happended?????

I was a sight but what was even more scary was my friend didn't realise until I told her how she got the lump on her head!

I SOUND LIKE AN ALCOHOLIC..........oh dear!

smoke.me.a.kipper

ive woken up half naked on the floor beside my bed, having made no attempt go get into it. ive woken up on the street with my keys in the lock of my house, because i couldnt figure out how to turn them in the lock.

Canis Lupus

well i also went to trabolgan for a weekend.... managed to pass out in between two single beds.... which is funny considering the space between both beds was like a foot and a half and also had my eyebrow shaved off which i didnt notice for the entire weekend till it was pointed out to me that i had been walking around the entire weekend looking like a twat.

Rozabeez

Christmas Eve- my sister went out for the night and threw herslef at a road sign (apparently they bend) ended up slightly missing the sign and splitting her chin open almost breaking her jaw. now that was a fun Christmas.

tman

a mate of mine found loads of grated cheese in his wallet last friday morning
good old thursday night pissups

Moriarty

Falling asleep in one place and waking up in another too many times to count.

Waking up sitting against the side of a bed in a ****ty hotel room in spain at 7 in the morning freezing cold (early november) in my boxers with no sign of my clothes and not much idea of where I was, only to later find my clothes with cement all over the back of them.

Waking up in a hedge in somones garden with somone else.

Quatre Mains

years ago my friends and I used to drink in a shed out the side of one of their parents' houses(twas better than knacker drinking). One evening we went on the lash there and started passing a few smokes around, which always has an adverse effect on me. I fell into a drunken slumber - the next thing I remember was waking up in a a chair with all my friends standing around me with their dicks out going 'ah that was deadly etc'. I felt my chest and it was s all gooey and I started getting very upset in a tired stoner kind of way, too ****ed to really react bar a big puke. Before you all get sick however turns out they'd got a raw egg from the house and cracked it over my chest before waking me up

sanncoo

Johnny

That beats any of my other stories hands down.....you win! :eek:

banquo

woke up in a neighbours -sparsley branched but heavily decorated- street christmas tree.

*Page*

Canis Lupus wrote:

well i slid for a good few feet in the scariest moment of my life. anyone notice that u never hurt yurself when drunk? had i done the same thing with the mountain when sober id have probably broken every bone in me body.

well no i clearly remember hurting my self alot
#slit my hand open on a mirror in eddy rockets
#punch a friend of mine and as she fell i fell and burst my eyebrow open on the curb
#ran in to some scofolding and knocked myself out
#was runnin away from sum weird guy(not vry drunk mite i add only had 3 drinks)and tripped and landed on a pint glass still have the scar on my knee....
#chipped my tooth on a smurf ice btl and then bumpd into someones shoulder and cut my lip open

by the by i'm very clumsy i trip over fresh air

GreeBo

drshortass wrote:

well no i clearly remember hurting my self alot
#slit my hand open on a mirror in eddy rockets
#punch a friend of mine and as she fell i fell and burst my eyebrow open on the curb
#ran in to some scofolding and knocked myself out
#was runnin away from sum weird guy(not vry drunk mite i add only had 3 drinks)and tripped and landed on a pint glass still have the scar on my knee....
#chipped my tooth on a smurf ice btl and then bumpd into someones shoulder and cut my lip open

by the by i'm very clumsy i trip over fresh air

Dear God! does the above tripe actually count as English nowadays?
<shudder>

Oh wait, let me guess, this is "cool" now huh? :rolleyes:

Corega

The Smurfs make alcoholic drinks? That is freakin' smurf man.

*Page*

GreeBo wrote:

Dear God! does the above tripe actually count as English nowadays?
<shudder>

Oh wait, let me guess, this is "cool" now huh? :rolleyes:

sorry if my lack of english bothers you pitty though it doesn't really bother me one little bit... i've never really done the "cool" thing but i do think u sud try to be nice

*Page*

Corega wrote:

The Smurfs make alcoholic drinks? That is freakin' smurf man.

its vry nice yup vry nice indeed

GreeBo

drshortass wrote:

sorry if my lack of english bothers you pitty though it doesn't really bother me one little bit... i've never really done the "cool" thing but i do think u sud try to be nice

drshortass wrote:

its vry nice yup vry nice indeed

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
,./\|?;'#:@~[]{}`!"£$%^&*()_+

See how the magical keyboard is able to type all the characters?
Ohhhhh, ahhhhhh

Oh, and here are some commas from me to you;
",,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,," feel free to use them in the normal way.

Gimp.

jor el

anyone notice that u never hurt yurself when drunk?

Kind of true, you might hurt yourself, but you just mightn't feel it. I once broke my leg while very drunk (3/4 bottle of JD and red bull after an afternoon of cider drunk), at a wedding, on the dance floor. I can't remember anything about it but I continued drinking afterwards 'cause I couldn't really feel it. It was more of a mild irratation, though I couldn't walk (as much from the broken bone as the drink I'd guess). The next day was a different story though, I couldn't move or get out of the bed.
I tell you, when the liquid anestetic wears off, you'll bloody well hurt.
I wasn't covered in anything when I woke up though, luckily enough as I wouldn't have been able to clean myself off.

*Page*

i dont like ur smelly ( , ) things

Sleepy

Let's see, some of my better ones have included:

Waking up in the carpark outside the Dunnes where I worked at the time. I'd obviously decided during the night that it was pointless going home. Shame that's where my uniform for work was!

Waking up on the steps of the Martin Ryan Institute in NUI, Galway.

Going on the piss in Galway and waking up in Ennis.

Waking up in the hotel lobby when I'd had a room booked and paid for in that hotel.

Nemici

woke up under my bed covered in my own vomit
woke up in a bath covered in my own vomit
woke up on a bus covered in my own vomit
i see some class of pattern emerging here.

not an injury to my person but my property, I did return to my bedroom after I had a party and found that somebody had done a large sh!t on the floor. Found out later that it was my mates mad alcoholic dad who that night had also broken around 15 vinyls, tore the gate off and thrown salad dressing out the window at the neighbours

A class act.