Do you believe He will come back?

samueljones · 11-10-2004 3:50pm #1

How can we recognize Him? http://www.jesuswillreturn.com/s1_7.html

sixpack's little hat · 11-10-2004 3:57pm

Sleipnir · 11-10-2004 4:01pm

Couldn't he just wear some sort of oddly-shaped hat so that we'd instantly know he's back in town?
Or flashing trousers?

Agent Smith · 11-10-2004 4:04pm

when i read the title,i thought it ment bubbles.....

jesus, like bubbles, IS all around us, lets be honest, he has 90% of the usernames*

*this may not be true, always read the label,see terms and conditions....

Big Ears · 11-10-2004 4:04pm

Why do all the religious wacko's post threads on after hours , is there not a religion forum .

Commissar · 11-10-2004 4:28pm

I don't understand you Sam. Do you really expect people to feel anything but irritation at the nonsense you keep peddeling?* :rolleyes:

*Actually you don't need to reply to that.

stevenmu · 11-10-2004 4:39pm

samueljones wrote:

How can we recognize Him?

..ermm.. I guess maybe he'll have some variety of beard ?

stevenmu · 11-10-2004 4:52pm

A friend of mine once told me that Celine Dion was going to make a come back but when I asked him to prove if she was ever really here in the first place, he couldn't !

the point of this story ?
... I like stories ...

ShiverinEskimo · 11-10-2004 4:58pm

This should throw it wide open,,

How do we know he was even here in the first place?
We study about people who believed in different gods years ago. How do you that wont happen to us?

meepmeep · 11-10-2004 5:00pm

i'm gonna be articulate about this:

Piss off please :mad:

Cactus Col · 11-10-2004 5:01pm

shoud have been titled "Do you believe He will come back / Do you believe He will come" ...

you know ... for Jewish members who don't believe that Jesus was the Messiah....

stevenmu · 11-10-2004 5:11pm

ShiverinEskimo wrote:

We study about people who believed in different gods years ago. How do you that wont happen to us?

Untill people of different beliefs are free and able to discuss their beliefs with each other in an open-minded way then we'll probably all end up believing the same things in a thousand years that we did a thousand years in the past. It's almost laughable really, the religions and sciences all have the same basic goal, to explain how and why we're here, but instead of learning from each other, the various "experts" spend more time ridiculing each other than they do in trying to solve anything.

That's of course presuming that <insert favourite religious icon here> won't be resurrected in the next few years and prove us all right/wrong. It's also assuming that reality TV producers don't have the bright idea of letting Simon Cowell and the voting public choose the next "Religion Idol" to be crucified in a live television finale.

Gurgle · 11-10-2004 5:27pm

stevenmu wrote:

That's of course presuming that <insert favourite religious icon here> won't be resurrected in the next few years and prove us all right/wrong.

'I will not prove I exist' said God, 'for proof denies faith and without faith I am nothing'.

And God disappeared in a puff of paradoxical logic. (and smoke).

So God will never have originally existed in the first (or last) place, due to the recursive nature of existentialism.

Q.E.D.

(Thats as good a logical proof that God doesn't exist as any I've heard that he (or she) does)

BuffyBot · 11-10-2004 5:30pm

Do you believe He will come back?

Do you believe in life after love?

simu · 11-10-2004 5:34pm

He'll be back at 20:15 tomorrow. Mark my words.

OfflerCrocGod · 11-10-2004 5:59pm

He's already back, here's some photo proof:

AND the big Jo relaxing with his favourite weed.....

flogen · 11-10-2004 7:10pm

Spam makes Baby Jesus Cry

flogen

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar · 11-10-2004 7:13pm

dudes.. I'm right here.

Gordon · 11-10-2004 7:19pm

We are all he and he was all we. With such logic you an understand how absurd your question is seeing as we are all he.

In fact to expand on my slight touchings... we are all we.

No need to doubt it samuel, just enjoy the peace of mind.

tk123 · 11-10-2004 7:19pm

Aww I thought the title was leading to a joke or something !!

:mad:

sceptre · 11-10-2004 7:31pm

1. He is different from other people because of his exceptional moral values

Hmmm, me

2. He will be recognised by the expression on his face which is only seen in Prophets

Me

3. He has an outstanding wisdom and decisive speech

Me

4. He is very reliable

Erm, me

5. He is under the protection of Allah

Ah sure go on, me

6. He does not ask for any reward in return for his services

Me

7. He is compassionate and full of mercy towards the believers

I am so close on this one. Maybe I should grow a beard and preach the glories of Unix

(yeah, kind of ripped off from Groundhog Day)

Doper Than U · 11-10-2004 7:47pm

'I will not prove I exist' said God, 'for proof denies faith and without faith I am nothing'.

Convenient.

Wait a second, I thought David Ike was the messiah?

therecklessone · 11-10-2004 7:55pm

Mercury_Tilt · 11-10-2004 8:00pm

This post has been deleted.

therecklessone · 11-10-2004 8:00pm

Karl Hungus · 11-10-2004 8:01pm

Buddhism even has it's policy on spam!

The mouth is the front-gate of all misfortune

I'm going to try and convert you, samueljones.

therecklessone · 11-10-2004 8:03pm

Especially for DeV

Sarky · 11-10-2004 8:08pm

http://klingonsforchrist.o-f.com

Everyone knows that Jesus was made up by Great Cthulhu to get our hopes up before dashing them to pieces. He enjoys the taste of a soul saturated with despair and terror. Ia! Ia! Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

therecklessone · 11-10-2004 8:13pm

samueljones wrote:

How can we recognize Him?

Its cool man, he's got it covered...

Mercury_Tilt · 11-10-2004 8:18pm

This post has been deleted.

sceptre · 11-10-2004 8:22pm

Doper Than U wrote:

Wait a second, I thought David Ike was the messiah?

Oh he is. Just don't ask him to prove it.

koneko · 11-10-2004 8:26pm

He Who?
So to answer your question, no.

embee · 11-10-2004 9:01pm

Do you believe He will come back?

Where's He gone? Is He on his holidays?

Sure leave Him alone. His head must be wrecked.

aidan_walsh · 11-10-2004 9:05pm

Gurgle wrote:

'I will not prove I exist' said God, 'for proof denies faith and without faith I am nothing'.

And God disappeared in a puff of paradoxical logic. (and smoke).

So God will never have originally existed in the first (or last) place, due to the recursive nature of existentialism.

Q.E.D.

(Thats as good a logical proof that God doesn't exist as any I've heard that he (or she) does)

That has to be the single worst bastardisation of Hitchhikers I've ever read...

Piste · 11-10-2004 9:09pm

My thoughts exactly. What does Q.E.D. mean?

aidan_walsh · 11-10-2004 9:09pm

Gummybearz!!! wrote:

My thoughts exactly. What does Q.E.D. mean?

A latin abbreviation for quod erat demonstrandum. It means "which was to be shown" in english. It is used at the end of a proof to show that the proof has been completed.

Piste · 11-10-2004 9:19pm

Thankies

Godzilla is greater than lizards which makes it Godlike and greater than God having additional lizard powers (radioactive firebreath etc.) Therefore more powerful that God, therefore creator of the universe and should be worshipped accordingly. Kneel.

ykt0di9url7bc3 · 11-10-2004 9:20pm

He'll be recognised, taken into state care, fed some drugs, some counsiling and maybe given a job in tele-marketing...

who says it hasnt happened already or might have happened a few times

NotMe · 11-10-2004 9:23pm

doodle_sketch wrote:

That has to be the single worst bastardisation of Hitchhikers I've ever read...

I hate that book. I hate that quote and I hate the way so many people use it as the definitive proof that God doesn't exist.

[size=-9]Yeah I'm in a bad mood.[/size]

daveirl · 11-10-2004 9:26pm

This post has been deleted.

Piste · 11-10-2004 9:27pm

Dude, don't knock the book. I know some nerds here who love that book........

NotMe · 11-10-2004 9:49pm

daveirl wrote:

This post has been deleted.

Yeah, there were probably hundreds of men called Jesus existing around that time in that location.

OfflerCrocGod · 11-10-2004 10:02pm

NotMe wrote:

Yeah, there were probably hundreds of men called Jesus existing around that time in that location.

Barabas first name was Jesus.

sceptre · 11-10-2004 11:29pm

OfflerCrocGod wrote:

Barabas first name was Jesus.

News to me but apparently true

Stark · 11-10-2004 11:32pm

Could be that the crucifixion was one of history's greatest misunderstandings

billy the squid · 12-10-2004 2:06am

http://www.bettybowers.com/newsfoot.html

sorry folks the second comming has been cancelled

LegacyUser · 12-10-2004 2:24am

the second cumming has already happened, go wipe your chin Jesus

Gurgle · 12-10-2004 8:58am

doodle_sketch wrote:

That has to be the single worst bastardisation of Hitchhikers I've ever read...

Hitchhikers, thats it, thanks.
I couldn't for the life of me remember what I was bastardising.

daveirl wrote:

This post has been deleted.

He was a carpenter.
Like his Dad.

therecklessone · 12-10-2004 11:29am

Stark wrote:

Could be that the crucifixion was one of history's greatest misunderstandings

It was an insurance job, I heard the Roman's have it all on CCTV.

Expect to see it on Sky One next week, When Prophets Go Wrong 6...

Sleepy · 12-10-2004 12:25pm

FFS :rolleyes:

When is zealoutry going to be made a capital crime? Because until people give up their beliefs in fairy tales we never stand a chance of evolving to a higher level.

ferdi · 12-10-2004 12:34pm

Sleepy wrote:

FFS :rolleyes:

When is zealoutry going to be made a capital crime? Because until people give up their beliefs in fairy tales we never stand a chance of evolving to a higher level.

people have always had beliefs such as this and yet we have evolved this far....your logic is flawed

Do you believe He will come back?

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