Best Simpsons Scenarios

ThunderingMike

There's just too many

Homer: I'm not popular enough to be different...

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ThunderingMike Thus conscience does make cowards of us all, And thus the native hue of resolution is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought, And enterprises of great pitch and moment, With this regard their current turns away, And lose the name of action... Nows that's a sig.

Yo Mamma

or or this........Homer is trying to start his own internet company, but as usual has no idea what he is doing....

Homer: Welcome to the internet my friend, how may I help you?
Comic Book Store Guy: I'm interested in upgrading my 28.8 kilo baud internet connection to a 1.5 megabit fiber optic T1 line, will you be able to provide an ip router that's compatible with my token ring Ethernet LAN configuration?
(Homer just stares stupidly at Chubby for 10 seconds)
Homer: Can I have some money now?


ROLF

Gambler

Marge: There's something wrong with Bart...
Homer: New glasses?
Marge: No...something else.
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.
Marge: I would like to ask him about what he is doing for extra-curricular
activities but I'm afraid we'd be smothering him.
Homer: Yeah, then we'd get the chair.
Marge: That's not what I meant homer.
Homer: It was Marge, admit it; it was.

HeHeHe

adnans

when Homer became a bodyguard:

Homer: It's a real honor to be guarding your body, sir.
Quimby: Just remember. You represent the office of the mayor. So
always comport yourself in a manner befitting ... quick!
Honk at that broad!
[Homer beeps the horn twice at a redhead walking down the
sidewalk, while Mayor Quimby whistles at her]
Quimby: Good work, Simpson. I couldn't be happier with the way that
went.

lmao

Mills

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Gambler:
Marge: There's something wrong with Bart...
Homer: New glasses?
Marge: No...something else.
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.
Marge: I would like to ask him about what he is doing for extra-curricular
activities but I'm afraid we'd be smothering him.
Homer: Yeah, then we'd get the chair.
Marge: That's not what I meant homer.
Homer: It was Marge, admit it; it was.

HeHeHe</font>

LMAO, haven't seen this episode yet but it sounds funny

Yo Mamma

Homer and Marge stand in the bathroom as Marge reads a small box.)

Marge:"Barnacle Bill's Home Pregnancy Test?" Homer: shouldn't we have gone with a better known brand?
Homer: But Marge, this one came with a free corn cob pipe!
Marge: Okay, let's see. "Ahoy, mateys, if the water turns blue, a baby for you. If purple ye see, no baby there be."
Homer: Well, what color is it - blue or purple?
Marge: Pink.
Homer: D'oh!
Marge: "If ye test should fail to a doctor set sail."

lmao

smoke.me.a.kipper

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[homer comes into the kitchen in the middle of the night in only his underwear...]

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Homer: mmmmm.... 64 slices of american cheese.....

64...... njyom-njyom
63...... njyom-njyom

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[morning time]

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Homer: 2...... njyom-njyom
1...... njyom-njyom

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[enter marge]

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Marge: Homer, have you been up all night eating cheese??

Homer: i think i'm blind.

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best ever.

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-ciaran
This post has been brought to you by the letter C, and the number 7.

Zapper

I'd go with ANY exchange between Homer and his brain.

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2"> ..aS bart and Otto play guitare really loudly

Homer: Would you guys knock it off! I cant hear myself think!"

Close up to Homers brain.

Homer's Brain: I want some penuts

Homer: Thank-you!

</font>

There are loads more too, but none i can remeber off by heart




[This message has been edited by Zapper (edited 28-03-2001).]

Winning Hand

They are watching tv and an oprah winfrey-like program comes on.

Woman on stage :"Men!"
All the other women :" booooooooooooooooo"
And thats about it, its so funny cos its true

TinCool

Marge: Does your spose have a drinking problem. Homer I want to ask you some questions.
Homer: okay
Marge: Do you ever drink beer alone ?
Homer: Does God count as a person ?
Marge: No
Homer: Then Yes.
Marge: Do you ever hide beer around the house ?
Homer: Do I ever
Marge: Do you ever drink beer to escape reality ?
Homer: deee, di, di, di, di, di, dee, dee, di, di, di, di, dee, dee, di, di, di, dee

Hecate

[homer looking for a peanut under the couch]
Homer: Awwwww...$20, (whines like a kid) but I wanted a peanut!

brain: $20 can buy many peanuts.

Homer: Explain how.

brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

Homer: woohoo!

Jim Daniels

Bart: Hey, Can I see your club?
Chief Wiggum: Its not a club son, its a baton
Bart: What do you do with it?
Chief Wiggum: We club people with it.

TinCool

Mr Burnes: Use an Open faced Club ... a Sand Wedge
Homer: mmmmm open faced club sandwich

Thanx 4 The Fish

Sideshow Bob

You want the truth? You can't handle the
truth. No truth-handler, you. I deride your
truth-handling abilities.

My young friends, for years I have been
silent, save for the crude glissandos of
this primitive wind instrument. But now,
destiny has thrust me in the center ring! In
the coming weeks, you will notice some
rather sweeping changes in our program.
Please do not be alarmed, Itchy and Scratchy
will still have a home here. But we will
also learn about nutrition, self-esteem,
etiquette, and all the mindly arts.

Abe Simpson

We can't bust heads like we used to, but we
have our ways. One trick is to tell them
stories that don't go anywhere. Like that
time I took the ferry over to Shelbyville; I
needed a new heel for my shoe. So, I decided
to go to Morganville, which is what they
called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied
an onion to my belt, which was the style at
the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a
nickle, and in those days, nickles had
pictures of bumblebees on them. "Give me
five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now
where were we? Oh yeah, the important thing
was that I had an onion on my belt, which
was the style at the time. They didn't have
any white onions, because of the war; the
only thing you can get was those big yellow
ones.


Funnnnnneeeeeeeeeeee

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You never expect the Beefy Inquisition !!!

astrofool

Marge talking to Homer about kids not being nice to him:

Marge: Kid's can be so cruel.

Bart(walking by): We can!

couple of seconds later:
Lisa: OW!

astrofool

oops, wrong post

[This message has been edited by astrofool (edited 04-04-2001).]

StarScream

lisa h my god thats side show bob on the radio!
homer:yep side show bob,yakin it up on the old yak box
lisa:ill save you the embarresment of admitting you domt know who sideshow bob is
homer:no maam

Otto

Saved by the Bell rules zoiks

AND I MEAN THE OLD CLASS WIT THAT STRIPPER ***** GESSE SPANNER YO YO FOR REAL
icso fatso

Kali

McBain "Lets Get Silly"...

"Have you ever noticed how men always leave the toilet seat up??? That's the joke..."

"And now, my Woody Allen impression: I'm a neurotic nerd who likes to sleep with little girls."

smoke.me.a.kipper

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Kali:
"And now, my Woody Allen impression: I'm a neurotic nerd who likes to sleep with little girls."</font>

also from McBain....
McBain - "it's just me in front of a brick wall for 4 and a half hours. It cost 80 million dollars."
Jay - "how do you sleep at night??"
McBain - "on top of a pile of money with many buetiful ladies."


and....

Jay - "your shoes are un-tied"
McBain - "from this height they appear to be tied but i will go in for a closer inspection"

= hours later =
McBain - "From this height they appear to be loafers"

LMAO!!

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-ciaran

This post has been brought to you by the letter C, and the number 7.

Lenny

ahh the 'ol simpsons lads
you jsut can beat em
they've been round for years now and they're still watch

MiCr0

again and again and again and again ......