Tips on how to avoid the Trick-or-Treaters this Holloween

PH01

You know the story, the door bell rings on Holloween, and there's these kids in costume there with their bags open.
"Trick or Treeeeeeeeeeat!" they say.
And, you pretend to be scared, "...oh, wow you scared me...". Then you drop sweets or chocolates into to sacks and off they go.
Then 10 seconds later, the same thing happens again. And again. And again.

Then you get some ungrateful little $hits who look at the stuff you've given them.
"I don't really like Toffee Crisps. Can I have something else"? Or, "...is that all"?
Or, there's quite a few who keep coming back wanting more. We had one of these feckers come back three times to our door!
Little $hits!!!

Well that's it. No more. I'm not going to give out a ton of sweets every holloween, which I've paid for out of my own money, any more.

Last year we didn't arrive home until 9 o'clock. At time when we were sure they had gone off to their little cider parties around some bonfire with fireworks. Ah, peace.
But this year Holloween is on a Sunday, so I can't use the excuse of staying at work a couple of hours more. Which kills me too, but it's the lesser of two evils.
So, does anyone have any tips on how to aviod these awful trick-or-treaters? Please help!

Havelock

Kill and Cruicify the first child who comes to the door, Actaully forget the kill, let the sob suffer.

Stuff

Might sound a bit obvious, but have you tried not answering the door?

PH01

Stuff wrote:

Might sound a bit obvious, but have you tried not answering the door?

Do you really think that'll fool THEM?
There's nothing worse that have a kid peeping through your letter box on holloween saying...
"HEY! WE KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE. WE CAN SEE THAT LIGHT ON. AND YOU WOULDN'T LIKE TO HAVE SOMETHING NASTY HAPPEN TO YOUR CAR WHICH IS PARKED OUT SIDE. NOW WOULD YOU?"

These kids ain't stupid. They'll kick down the door if they know you're in there.

steveland?

Havelock wrote:

Kill and Cruicify the first child who comes to the door, Actaully forget the kill, let the sob suffer.

Hang the bastid inside the door and when you open it let the kiddies have a good look... gaurantee it'll be a Hallowe'en they'll never forget

begbie

Put up a "Trespasser's will be shot" sign.

][cEMAN**

Last year I had literally moved in an hour, and the knocks came to the door. I had to tell them I had nothing. Kids are quite understanding......

.....been pelting my house with eggs for the last year :P little sh1ts ehehe

Jim

Give them soft drugs and porn. Then their parents will never let them go to your house again.

Big Ears

Pellet gun is the answer....................... although you may be looking for something legal .

Turn off all your lights and go to bed . Get ear-plugs to avoid the sound of the feckers knocking .

begbie

Big Ears wrote:

Pellet gun is the answer....................... although you may be looking for something legal .

Pellet guns ain't legal?

FX Meister

What not just do what the dudemasters did? This is hilarious http://www.dudemasters.com/pranks.html

Jim

Shooting little children with them is.

You could just go out drinking.

Big Ears

begbie wrote:

Pellet guns ain't legal?

fraid not , still dosen't stop me from havi............la de da de da .

irlirishkev

Go to the pub.
It's Sunday afternoon/evening, but while there's usually kids in the pub at that time, they'll all be off trick or treating, so it should be 'adults only'..

Kevin.

Sleipnir

"How can I manage to be a mean, stingy bastard to kids? I never was a kid at any stage myself.
When I was asked if I wanted to go trick-or-treating I said I didn't because
it was unfair on people to expect the odd smile or some sweets once a year"

This country gets more mean-spirited every day.

irlirishkev

sleipnir wrote:

This country gets more mean-spirited every day.

We'll send them all around to your place so..
Have some cleaning materials handy, 'cos if they don't like what you give them, they'll egg your house

K.

Sleipnir

I won't be giving them eggs so.....

PH01

FX Meister wrote:

What not just do what the dudemasters did? This is hilarious http://www.dudemasters.com/pranks.html

This is great. Can't think why I haven't thought about this before?

PH01

Sleipnir wrote:

This country gets more mean-spirited every day.

I use to not mind the kids on holloween. I didn't all that giving and not recieving as much as a thank you.
But you just get to a point were you can't take it any more. When the pressure gets to much. And everybody wants a piece of you. And then you have nothing more to give, and that's it!
"Someday a real rain will come and wash all the scum from the streets"

skywalker

the kids are having a scrum in the streets?

Boro

Put a row of severed heads on pikes outside your house... They should get the message.

steveland?

Give them eggs and tell them "Just try it" and turn around laughing... they won't know whats goin on and they'll probably be too scared to egg ya.


Or not cos they'll probably egg ya anyway

PH01

skywalker wrote:

the kids are having a scrum in the streets?

That's even funnier. Correct my spelling mistake, I tink.

Rossonero

begbie wrote:

Put up a "Trespasser's will be shot" sign.

Survivors will be shot again :mad:

Rossonero

PH01 wrote:

"Someday a real rain will come and wash all the scum from the streets"

That's a quote from "Taxi Driver", isn't it?


I say, dress up as Michael Jackson. When you open the door and offer them "milk and cookies" they'll go running and won't come back.

ixoy

Be seasonal and dress yourself up as Michael Myers when answering the door, with a bloodied dripping knife. For bonus points, hire an actor to drag themselves down the hallway leaving a trail of corn syrup blood behind them. For added effect, have the door swing open when they arrive and walk menacingly towards them - but at the steady assured pace of the mass murderer.

Keyzer

Setup a booby trap over your door consisting of a cauldron of molten tar and a box of feathers with a big fan behind it. When the door bell rings the tar covers the littles swinehunds, the motion of the cauldron pulls a string which turns on the fan and covers them in feathers....

Alternatively, a pot of boiling water should deter them...

][cEMAN**

You've been watching the adams family haven't you?

PH01

Keyzer wrote:

...cauldron of molten tar...

Do you know how hard it is to get your hands on tar these days? And I'm gonna need large quantities of the stuff. Maybe I get one of those tar trucks from Cement Roadstone, park it out side the front door and then spray the little feckers as they pass by. Yes, that'll work.
Now, feathers. Let me see, where can I get a couple of ton of feathers...?

Giblet

Cyanide.

PH01

ixoy wrote:

Be seasonal and dress yourself up as Michael Myers when answering the door, with a bloodied dripping knife. For bonus points, hire an actor to drag themselves down the hallway leaving a trail of corn syrup blood behind them. For added effect, have the door swing open when they arrive and walk menacingly towards them - but at the steady assured pace of the mass murderer.

You know as I was reading this, I was working out how would keep the place tidy. I'd cover the whole ground floor with polythene to stop spillages. You you how hard it is to wash blood from a carpet.
Corn syrup bood won't work. Gotta use read blood. I could pick up buckets of stuff from the local slaughter house. It'll smell, but it'll be worth it.
Now all I need is a body. A friend of mine is a student at the College of Surgeons. I'm sure they'll lend me a body to cut up in the hallway of my house?
I'm begining ot enjoy this...

Tusky

Cut up a load of vegetables into nice shapes like stars or moons. Cover them in chocolate and hand them out as sweets .... They wont come back for more.

AdMMM

Tusky wrote:

Cut up a load of vegetables into nice shapes like stars or moons. Cover them in chocolate and hand them out as sweets .... They wont come back for more.

Wonder where you got that from? :rolleyes:

Anyway, not many people would be bothered to go to all that trouble just to play a prank on the children.

I for one just throw nuts into their bags! The trick is to not let them see what you have given them, but say "open your bags" and then throw a load of stuff into them!

Idbatterim

Take the battery out of the doorbell, that way you wont feel guilty when a group of them tries ringing the bell!

ven0m

Actually - it's called a Rottweiler Dog, & was originally used by the Romans as a weapon of war & if you get them big enough & heavy enough they can really do alot of damage to small children.....problem solved!!!


::: ven0mous :::

aidan_dunne

You know, one thing I've never been able to understand about this whole "Trick or Treat" malarky is the fact that, when growing up, parents are constantly warning their kids to never take sweets from strangers. Yet, one day a year, they think nothing of letting their kids roam around the place, usually on their own, going from house to house happily accepting sweets from, in many cases, complete strangers.

Double standards, anyone?

ven0m

aidan_dunne wrote:

You know, one thing I've never been able to understand about this whole "Trick or Treat" malarky is the fact that, when growing up, parents are constantly warning their kids to never take sweets from strangers. Yet, one day a year, they think nothing of letting their kids roam around the place, usually on their own, going from house to house happily accepting sweets from, in many cases, complete strangers.

Double standards, anyone?

Actually now you raise that point it is rather sinister when you view it like that! Parents take note!!!!!


::: ven0mous :::

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

possibly because years and years ago, before we lived in this evil world full of rapists, murders, terrorists and muslims people were able to feel that they lived in a community, they respected their neighbours and weren't fed tales of horror by the media every minute of every day to keep them nice and afraid?

or maybe parents secretly want their children to be killed.

ven0m

Mordeth wrote:

muslims

Mighty big brush you're tarring with there Mordeth... not all muslims are suicide bombers, head cutters or terrorists. Irish people in general do not like to be tarred with the same Brush as the IRA because they say 'they're irish' [not getting into a debate about this one folks, as it is off topic]. Just like every social/religious/ethnic group on the planet there are good & bad elements & bad news always gets around & more press than good news, cos it sells units!!! Not to mention the fact that bigotry is pretty ignorant & appeals to the lowest of the low in society!


::: ven0mous :::

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

dear jesus christ

am I going to have to get a ****ing tar brush and paint "I'M BEING SARCASTIC YOU BLOODY MORONS" on the monitors of boards users all over the country?

If this doesn't stop, I'll put a jihad on all of you.

actually wait, i think i was being ironic..

ven0m

Mordeth wrote:

dear jesus christ

am I going to have to get a ****ing tar brush and paint "I'M BEING SARCASTIC YOU BLOODY MORONS" on the monitors of boards users all over the country?

If this doesn't stop, I'll put a jihad on all of you.

actually wait, i think i was being ironic..

It does be hard to tell with you sometimes mate - LOL, although I really should have known better since it was you.... apologies..[side note: bloody hell you're quick on the old responses!!!]


::: ven0mous :::

BEAT

it is a basic rule here: if your light is on you are handing out candy, if it is off you are not.

I went to a house once when I was younger and his front light wasnt on but his side door light was, so I knocked, the poor old man didnt realize it was Halloween and went inside and got a role of dimes and handed me and my friends some of them. It touches my heart to think about it now.

I never forgot that...I love old people so much

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

ven0m wrote:

It does be hard to tell with you sometimes mate - LOL, although I really should have known better since it was you.... apologies..[side note: bloody hell you're quick on the old responses!!!]


::: ven0mous :::

broadband baby

knifey_spoonie

This can be solved very simply


1 get some old clothes tie together and stuff with newspaper

2 then get a bag fill with paper and fix to body

3 tie a rope around the neck

4 leave body near a top floor window

5 when the feckers come shout at them if they dont leave you alone you will hang yourself

6 run up stairs and throw the body out the window dont forget to hold the rope

7 sit back and hear them scream in terror

Gordon

No, Mordeth was right originally, just dress up in a white dish dash and hold a Quran in your hand while answering the door and people will think you're muslim and run off.

Capt'n Midnight

Do you have a sprinkler on your hose ?

Just leave it running so they'll get wet if they try to rig the bell.

mike65

May I sugest a little preparation - this weekend when down the shops buying your milk and papers just let it drop out that you heard reports about a man seen acting supsiously inside the grounds of the school and that the Gardai had been called....then let the bush telegraph do the rest!

Mike.

ur mentor

Why don't you just get involved. when they say trick or treat ask for trick. when they sing sit down and get them to finish song. spend 20 yo yo on sweets. it only lasts two hours or so. relax- remember the background. talk about witches and ghouls and think of your soul. :cool:

Raskolnikov

I've got a great idea.

How about you go down to the shops, try your local Lidl or Aldi presuming that you'll want to be making some savings. Purchase however much junk you think the kiddies need, €10 should be more than enough to cover you. Come home, chuck the lot into a pot of some sort and watch the telly until night time. When the kiddies come a knocking, give them a few poxy sweets. No house getting egged, no hassle likely to follow.

The dressing up as Michael Jackson idea could work too.

'Cham-on kidday's, ya'll gonna get nekkid with MJ! That's rite!'

CyberGhost

I hate this stupid stupid holiday! can't we just complain to someone to cancel it?
I mean it's stupid! I will have to scrap the fecking eggs of my house on monday!

holloween! that's how terrorists are made!

give us what we want or you will get you house egged or a car scratched!

CyberGhost

Herr Capitan wrote:

That's a quote from "Taxi Driver", isn't it?


I say, dress up as Michael Jackson. When you open the door and offer them "milk and cookies" they'll go running and won't come back.

lol!

I have to invite michael to my house! he'll treat them with a nice surprize