Paddies!

Spalk0

Paddy Englishman, Paddy Irishman and Paddy Scotsman were lost in the forest and were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could

live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go

to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So

all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.



Paddy Englishman came back and said to the king, "I brought ten

apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to

shove the fruits up your butt without any _expression on your

face or you'll be eaten."



The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out

in pain, so he was killed.



Paddy Scotsman arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the

king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this

should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the

ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.



Paddy Englishman and Paddy Scotsman met in heaven. Paddy Englishman

asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" Paddy Scotsman replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw Paddy Irishman coming with pineapples."

StupidLikeAFox

quality!!!




.

OLDYELLAR

i love those paddy english man paddy irish man paddy scotsman jokes , excellent!

Stephen P

Excellent!
Another one:

Paddy Englishman, Paddy Scotishman and Paddy Irishman, were outside on a cold, wet and stormy night so they looked around for somewhere to stay for the night, but everywhere they went there were no vaccancies bar one. it was old and didn't look too pleasing but they went ahead with it.

They went and booked the night and the owner said to them that they had a choice of three beds. A bed of Fire, a bed of Nails and a bed of Fleas.

Paddy Englishman chose the bed of Fire.
Paddy Scotishman chose the bed of Nails and Paddy Irishman chose the bed of Fleas.

Over breakfast the next morning they discussed how they slept.

Paddy Englishman said, That bed of Fire kept me up all night and i couldn't get any sleep and im scorched all over.

Thats nothing compared to my nights sleep! said Paddy Scottishman. That bed of Nails poked me all over when i turned and now im in pain.

Paddy Irishman said to the both of them, I slept like a baby!

How did you manage to get to sleep with all of the fleas biting and crawling over you? Asked Paddy Scottishman.

Quite simple really. I killed one flea and the rest went to the Funeral!

RuggieBear

stephen p wrote:

Excellent!
Another one:

Paddy Englishman, Paddy Scotishman and Paddy Irishman, were outside on a cold, wet and stormy night ......
......
Quite simple really. I killed one flea and the rest went to the Funeral!

Now that's funny!!!!

mayordenis

both good - kudos to stephen p and trigger

Healio

paddy english, irish and chinese man, get lost in the forest, so they decide they had better try to survive for a while, so they built a little shelter. then the three went off to find supplies. after a few hours english returns with the wood, irish with some leaves and stuff to sleep on but there was no sign of chinese. so irish and english went off looking for chinese, there was no sign of him, so the two headed back to their shelter assuming chinese was eaten or something, when suddenly chinese jumps from a tree and shouts "Supp-lise"

bozzie

v good another



Paddy English, Irish and Scotsman were in a Landrover in the desert and it ran out of petrol. Paddy Irish man got out and took the keys, Paddy Scotsman got out and took the radio. Paddy English man got out and took the door. When someone came they asked Paddy Irish man why did he take the keys."So no one could steel the jeep", he replied.They asked why did Paddy Scotsman take the radio."So I won't be lonely", he answered. They asked Paddy English man why he took the door."So if it gets too hot I can roll down the window!.....

mang87

Heh, nice.


I got another one...

Paddy englishman, paddy irishman, and paddy scotsman were roaming through the desert, when they came across a bunch of cannibles.
They were brought before the chief. "Thick skin make good canoe. Do you have any last requests?"
Paddy englishman wanted a big dinner before he was killed. So, they went about making him a feast.
He was killed once he finished the last berry. And promptly turned into a canoe.
"Thick skin make good canoe. any last requests?" Paddy scotsman wanted to sleep with the most beautiful woman in the tribe.
Begrudingly, they agreed. And he very eegerly went about rogering the lady, but the secound he climaxed he recieve a spear to the back of the head. And prompyly was turned into a canoe.
"Thick skin ma--" Paddy irishman cut the chief short, and outright demanded a fork.
He started punching holes in himself "You can kill me, but you're not making a fu**ing canoe outta me!!"