The Penis songs, hey can we say penis here?

lemur option

Long ago in ages past when the lab building was home to countless geniuses a game was founded by a mister David whyte (I think) a game that would tide us by for some time and here it is live on the internet to be subjected to the torment of thousands of brilliant minds.

The Penis songs (hey can we say penis on this site, c'mon half the world has one)
Rules:
Pick the title of a song and replace one word with the word Pen*s (is that better?)
So please go *nuts* and write the replaced word in brackets after it.

Leader board october 23 2004
1. you've got a penis in me (friend)
2. the long and winding penis (Road)
3. we all live in a penis submarine (yellow)
4. eye of the penis (tiger)
5. penis of the tiger (eye)


this will be updated as frequently as possible as long as you keep the songs coming in

Aoibheann

never play this game in HMV, seriously.

Hugh Hefner

So.... are we suposed to contribute song title?

I'm going to assume so:


Penis Me Up Inside (Wake)
What A Wonderful Penis (World)
Where Is My Penis? (Mind)
With A Little Penis from My Friends (Help)
Penis Of Your Life (Time)
The Penis Sleeps Tonight (Lion)
Shiny Happy Penis (People)
Amerian Penis (Pie)
Beethoven's 9th Penis (Symphony)
Penis Race (Bicycle)
Penis Me Up Buttercup (Build)
Penis In The Moonlight (Dancing)
Do Wah Penis (Diddy)
Dry Your Penis (Eyes)
Don't Stop Me Penis (Now)
Hazard To My Penis (Self)
I Believe In A Thing Called Penis (Love)
I Want You To Penis Me (Want)
I'm Dreaming Of A White Penis (Christmas)
Marlena On The Penis (Wall)
My Penis Is Inflateable (Girlfriend)
Penis Of A Preacher Man (Son)

mentalimplosion

the first one that comes to mind...

this penis (fire)

think how much fun you could have singing it... this penis is outta control....

Conorea

My elusive penis (dreams)
I love my penis (friend)
Thats the way a penis rocks and rolls (cowboy)
"The penis!" cries mary (wind)
Burning of the midnight penis (lamp)
Castles made of penises (sand)
star spangled penis (banner)
your mother's got a penis (penis)

The way i learned the game was not just songs but films, books etc.
ie. fried green penises, gladiator penis.

pinkpimp

Someone likes hendrix.
Anyway...

Pink floyd:
The penis (wall)

Hendrix:
penis (fire)

Air:
sexy penis (boy)
penis I need (all)
penis (run)
penis (venus)

Beach Boys:
sloop penis b (john)
pet penis (sounds)

The beatles:
penis in the sky with diamonds (lucy)
hey penis (jude)
penis madonna (lady)
back in the penis (ussr)
old brown penis (shoe)
octupusses penis (garden)
dig a penis (pony)
with a little help from my penis (friends)
fixing a penis (hole)
lovely penis (rita)
Sgt. penis' lonely hearts club penis (peppers band)
good morning good penis (morning)

Coldplay:
in my penis (place)

The Kinks:
you really got penis (me)
all day and all of the penis (night)
see my penis (friend)
everybodys penis be happy (gonna)
till the end of the penis (day)
dedicated folllower of penis (fashion)
penis of a clown (death)
plastic penis (man)
penis man (plastic)

mentalimplosion

penis machine (strict)
instant penis (street)
penis bomb (cherry)
penis for a future generation (song)
god is a penis (number)
penis queen (missy)
penis hands (slow)

Piste

Smells like teen penis (spirit)
Shake Ya Penis (Ass)
Can't knock the penis (Hustle)
Don't wanna be a penis (player)
I need a penis (girl)
My poor penis (brain)
No Penis knows (one)
Young penis(es) run free (hearts)
Penis will always love you (I)
Hard Penis Life (Knock)

More where that *came* from

Raphael

I can't resist

Baby got Penis (Back)

Plunky

There's the *actual* penis song, which you're all forgetting about....
isnt it awfully nice to have a penis!
isnt it frightfully good to have a dong
its swell to own a stiffy!
its divine to own a dick
from the tiniest little tadger to the world's biggest prick
so 3 cheers for your willy, or john thomas
hurray for your oneeyed trouser snake
your piece of pork, your wifes best friend
your percy or your cock
you can wrap it up in ribbons
You can slip it in your sock
but dont take it out in public
or they will stick you in the dock
and you wont
a-come
a-back!
ah...thank u very much!

Incidentally, Darran introduced me to this game, and much fun as it is, try it with movie titles (eg The Penis of David Gale; Penis Pie; The Penis King; etc)

StupidLikeAFox

Are you gonna be my penis? (girl)
The penis is yet to come (best)
I love you just the way you penis (are)
Penis glue (like)
In Da Penis (club, ''go shorty its ur penis......'')
My lovely penis (horse)
Stacys penis (mom)
dont mug your penis (self)
play that funky penis white boy (music)
Papa loves penis (mambo)
The blowers penis (daughter)
She has a penis now (girlfriend)

nosmo

Your Mother's got a Penis by Glodie Swingin' Chain.
It's actually a real song, and when I first saw it I nearly died laughing.

LiamD

Lick Penis (It)
Penis It (Lick)
Sweet penis of mine (child)
Meet her at the penis parade (love)
Hardcore penis (feelings)
Blinded by the penis (lights)

Hagar

Excuse me I was looking for the CTYI forum...
Merciful Jayses. Geniuses aren't what they used to be...
Still it keeps them off the streets I suppose...

mentalimplosion

nosmo wrote:

Your Mother's got a Penis by Glodie Swingin' Chain.
It's actually a real song, and when I first saw it I nearly died laughing.

broke my ****e laughing on reading about this in the sudnay times today... but isn't it goldie lookin' chain?

freakydeadgirl

marilyn manson:
personal penis- (jesus)
sweet penises-(dreams)
dairy of a dope penis-(fiend)

mastadon
march of the penises-(fireants)

hendrix:
highway penis-(child)
penis child-(highway)
purple penis-(haze)
all along the penis-(watchtower)

Spraypaint

I better get in here and post before the mods get the chance to stop me. So with a few nods to The White Stripes:
(i) I just don't know what to do with my penis (self)
(ii) I wanna be the boy to warm your mother's penis(heart)
(iii) I fell in love with a penis(girl) :eek:

(Just an afterthought: My number of posts just reached double figures.Woo!)

Crash

wouldnt "i wanna be the penis to warm your mothers heart be better than i wanna be the boy to warm your mothers penis?

Piste

What your penis? (Flava)
She's got that penis (vibe)
break your penis (neck)
Gangsta's Penis (Paradise)
Get the penis started (party)
Got to have your penis (love)
Return of the penis (Mack)
Penis show host (talk)
Another penis in Paradise (day)

And now for some books......

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's (philosophy woooooo!) Penis (stone)
Harry Potter and the penis of secrets (chamber)
Harry Potter and the penis of Azkaban (prisoner)
Harry Potter and the penis of Fire (goblet)
Harry Potter and the order of the penis (phoenix)
Lord of the Penis (rings)
The two penis(es) (towers)
The return of the penis (king)
Hitchhikers guide to the penis (galaxy)
The penis at the end of the universe (restaraunt)
Life the universe, and penis (everything)
So long and thank for all the penis(es) (fish)
Mostly penis (harmless)
The penis club (babysitter/sleepover)

Some Movies.....

The Penis job (Italian)
The holy penis (grail)
Boo, Zino and the penis (snurks)

More to cum.......

the_only_Ali

anyone remember the list from last year session 1? 300 synonyms for penis...

Raphael

I lost that when I killed my hard drive....

Dem

freakydeadgirl

found this in my back log of e-mail
first brought to us by lisa reilly

---

In the beginning, there was the word, and the word was… penis!!

i couldn't send this to loadsa people due to illegible handwriting so tough **** to them.

So anyhoo, there I was, y’know, 2 am, just in from the pub, all warm and smelling of smoke, and sure is there anything more constructive to do but mail out the penis list, cos well, *does sexy face #2* that’s how I’m living. I’m not taking credit for this, cos it was all jane’s idea (she iz rawk), and she wrote it down, I just acted all "scary and gropey".

Mail this to everyone who you know who went to session one this year, and just for kicks, and send it to all the randomers you know who have a sense of humour, cos it’s the ****.

(oh, and anyone I’m sending this to who isn’t from ctyi, it’s a big list (~300) of euphemisms for penii. It’s what I learned in nerd camp. Don’t act offended, you’ve met me, you know what I’m like.)

(I love how word corrects all my grammar)

(Culchie Power!!)

(I’ll penis YOUR list)

But now…

Cock

Dick

Prick

Knob

Willy/Willie

One-eyed monster

Weiner

Trouser snake

Pocket trout

John Thomas

Wanger

Organ

**** stick

Bratwurst

Serpent

Anaconda

‘The’ beast

Studstick

One-eyed trouser snake

Lonely finger

Monkey

Weapon

Wanghorn

Major

El Capitan

Boastful plum

Spike

Princess Sophie

Lollipop

Log

Lieutenant

Cucumber

Sword

Bone

General

Sergeant Major

Johnny

Johnson

Manhood

Duke of Wellington

Me lad

Me little fella

Pecker

Me ould fella

Langer

Member

Bite (Gallic)

Tool (massive)

Wrench

Sausage

Rod

Instrument

Banana

Purple-headed yoghurt spitter

Todger

Piece of pork

The Quare Fella

Milkman

Pipe

Stocking filler

Little Soldier

Plough

Submarine

Needle

Yoke

Screw

Dong

Little man

Pike

Slickstick

Animal

Love muscle

Wang

Paddy

Prince Albert

Talent

Cong

Joystick

Pencil

Thing

Weasel

Bishop

Frankfurter

Hot dog

Tallywhacker

Schlong

Schnitzel

Woman-maker

Snake

Dork

Spear

Fleshrocket

Mantube

Third leg

Gearstick

Cannon

Sergeant

Eleventh finger

Whacker

Pin

Twig

Screwdriver

Ding-a-Ling

Littlejohn

Wurst

Hose

Utensil

Piece

Jag

Meat

Wand

Baguette

Ammunition

Dripstick

Sperminator

Fabulous weapon

Weapon of Ass Destruction

Kielbasa

Szechwan Pork (thank word for spellcheck)

Pink oboe

Piscin

Spitting cobra

Caideog

Spaghetti string

Mr. Big

One-eyed milkman

Cruise missile

Pants-dwelling Stocking Filler

Dr. Love’s Syringe

Cherry popper

Thief of Innocence

Tomahawk

Turbo charger

Slide trombone

The P-bomb

Santa’s little helper

Schneider

Magnum .45 (it can blow your head clean off)

Maiden breaker

Little Twitchy

Lord of the Laderhosen

Big Friendly Giant

Bushwhacker

Missionary Priest

Tiny Tim

Artful Dodger

Glue Gun

Jimmy Durante

Roger

Ding-Dong

Heartbreaker(thank you Paul the Ride)

Babymaker(once again, Paul RA)

Pee-Pee

Spunkinator

Lovewand

Dog

Linebreaker

Candlestick

Lightsabre

Mushroom

Handle

Spunkblaster

Gizcannon

Mickey

(*Ahem*)

Rugged spear

Little bald man

Pump-action shotgun

Whistle

Purple supersoaker

Whistle

Tools of the gods

Pile driver

Mantool

Dr. Feelgood

The mouse

Mr. Tinkle

Pig Ugly Love King

Snozzcumber

Little bighorn

The Agitator

Long John Silver

Vlad the Impaler

Glowstick

Dangly bit

Ferrari

Spout

Vag-ripper

Enchanted sword

Mr. Happy Times

Blackjack

Flute

Bod

Plunger

It

Spunkblaster

Incredible Hulk

Spear

Rasher

Salami

Trouserburster

Turkey Baster

Virginity Blaster

Two-minute shooter

Hotrod

Messenger

Nuclear Warhead

Giant Redwood

Tommy gun

Mini-me

Mr. Wiggly

Playboy

Whangdoodle

Space invader

Jelly tot

Dark Lance

The Big Dipper

Wassolini whacker

Wanked

Battering Ram

Tube steak

Heat Seeking Moisture Missile

Uncle Dick

Pink Cadillac

Violater

Magic wand

The Fireman

Soap Dispenser

Dark Saber

Zobe (Gallic)

The Inseminator

Pisser

Vader’s Helmet

Swashbuckler

The Jazzer

Zucchini

Spitting Sausage

Love Salami

Bristly Love Wand

Wooly mammoth

Syphilisilator

MVP (most valuable player)

Magic Johnson

Fava (Italian)

Lower Extremity

VIP

Trouser mouser

Truck

One-eyed one-horned flying purple babymaker

Musket

Dicky Dido

Ace Rimmer

Bastard Sword

The One

Wad Deployer

Pen 15

Hot meat Injection

Love warrior

The Landshark

Frankenstein

Maiden Ravager

Penetrator

Red-tipped Rocket

Rear Admiral

Cave Dweller

The Diggler

Wibbly Wobbly Wonder

Rodimus Prime

Shiny R2 Unit

Rapier

Musketeer

Wet sausage

Fr. John’s Holy Stick

Cake-Icer

Toothpaste Tube

Slimy sex missile

Beef Suppository

Clouded Frost Spire

Sticky Wicket

Dick Tracey

Bottle of Milk

Crawl the Warrior King

Torpedo Tube

Slinky

Slingshot

Bayonette

The Big Dog

Lord of the Ring

Womb Raider

Little Hobbit

Vag Invader

Slimy Ghekko

Bollard

Cum cannon

Crowbar

Pringle tin

Old Oak Tree

Rhythm stick

Arse Rammer





Christ, we had little to be doing. When you’re sending this on to other people COS YOU ARE SENDING IT ON, don’t add to it, or if you do, put it after these few lines, cos what’s above is the definitive one, and if it comes back to me with something added after arse-rammer, I’ll castrate you with a rusty spoon (and not in a good way)



Lots of Love, Monkey, Pigeons, Giraffes and Chocolate.

Lisa .x.

(if you don’t remember who I am already, eat **** and die)

Sorry about the spelling mistakes, any accident repetitions etc. it is 2.21AM at this stage, so y’know…



(well, actually it's now 7.24 on the next day, but who's counting)

lemur option

Good god in one day I got this many replies I shall start updating the list and it'll have to be a top 20 which should be finished by um let's say next CTYI only messin' about sunday. PS love the list of synonyms its a lovely touch. Well let's hope you can say penis on this site cos if not we have a serious problem. Keep sending in your songs and hey will someone else take the liberty of doing one about movies, books etc. cos although they're funny they clog up the thread. So I'm only takin songs posted before this post for the this list Okay.

jono087

These are all dance tracks, cos I;m just looking at a playlist:


Penis-shaker (earth)

Shooting Penis (Star)

The logical penis (song)

Do you see the penis? (light)

inner penis (life)

unbreak my penis (heart)

foreign penis (shore)

dreaming of penis (you)

digital penis (reason)

elephamt king

I cant believe nobody else has mentioned this:
Get Your Hands Off My Penis Mother****er (Woman)

davethetrucker

mentalimplosion wrote:

broke my ****e laughing on reading about this in the sudnay times today... but isn't it goldie lookin' chain?

yeah its its goldie lookin' chain..........i saw them live on mtv2 at the start of the summer theres like nine ppl in that band and only one of them deos anything the rest just bum around and get high while wearing fake gold and ols school addidas tracksuits....


guns'n'roses- appitite for penis

welcome to the penis(jungle) mr.brown penis(stone)
its so penis(easy)
sweet penis 'o mine(child)
rocket penis(queen)
my penis

pinkpimp

Best word for penis ever (Only to be used in this particular term):
Shakin hands with the Governer of Love. Oh yeah. We all know what it means.

Plunky

Masturbating?

Jim_Are_Great

Yea, I agree with Plunky.

Anyway:

See Through Penis (head)
Ted The Penis (mechanic)
Penis's last Sand (achilles)
The Penis that Failed (God)
Losing my Penis (religion)

etc...

Raphael

I'm so bored...

Metallica
The Penis of the Ctulu (Call)(Sounds vaguely like Hentai...)
The Penis of Gold (Ecstacy)(aka Masturbating Midas)
The Penis remains (Memory)(Thats why you don't confuse Vaseline and Superglue)
Of Penis and Man (Wolf)(The other way would have sounded wrong)
Pleeding Penis (Me)(A dodgy PA?)

Satyricon
Penisridden (Angst)(Also known as male)
Suffering the Penis (Tyrants)(aka Showering in Prison)
Mental Penis (Mercury)(For mindfúcking people)
Black Penis (Lava)(Token Minority)

Iron Maiden
Penis High (Aces)(Sounds like some form of school for hookers...)
Rime of the Ancient Penis (Mariner)(Old men have them as well)
Penisslave (Power)(Kinkeh..)

William Shatner
Ideal Penis (Woman)(Freudian slip anyone?)
Thats Me Penis (Trying)(The grammer fails, but the principal is there)
Penis People (Common)(Another euphanism for men)

Judas04

nosmo wrote:

Your Mother's got a Penis by Glodie Swingin' Chain.
It's actually a real song, and when I first saw it I nearly died laughing.

DUH! It's Goldie Lookin' Chain! :rolleyes: