idiotic phrases you hear in the workplace

Raam

ishnid wrote:

Why can't these people just say what they mean?

because they need to maximise their leverage capabilities in terms of self-perpetuation. This has long term advantages in minimising the personal negative effect when a business needs to be streamlined

Blub2k4

milltown wrote:

A classic from the Mc.Donalds training manual, I'm told:

"Teamwork makes the dream work"

Aaaaah!

Who told you this?
Go on admit it it was your supervisor.

steveland?

I heard one once: "there's no 'I' in team spirit"

Jack Feeney

From a fleeting insight into Human Resource Management BS:

Considering our synergy and strategic fit, we may need to look at core competencies, best practices and overall bottom line. Lets revisit that 24/7, stay in the loop and benchmark so we get a win-win situation. Its not just about fast-tracking proactive remedies, its about empowering knowledge bases, which at the end of the day, must be client-focused and client-driven. :rolleyes:

milltown

Blub2k4 wrote:

Who told you this?
Go on admit it it was your supervisor.

I WISH I had such a motivating supervisor. Unfortunately the Mc.Donalds job will remain a dream while I'm stuck here trying to empower the core dynamic by leveraging blah, blah blah ..........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

the Guru

I want solutions not issues

SprostonGreen

milltown wrote:

I WISH I had such a motivating supervisor. Unfortunately the Mc.Donalds job will remain a dream while I'm stuck here trying to empower the core dynamic by leveraging blah, blah blah ..........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

When I worked in a call centre, (the worst one ever, its in Park West) I often imagined McDonalds to be a better place to work. given the crap that we had to put up with, and the idiot speak listed here.

Blub2k4

the Guru wrote:

I want solutions not issues

How's about ten teaspoons of salt into 1 liter of water for a solution?

bumdebum tsschhh

Trojan

http://www.redbrick.dcu.ie/~thinkzoo/profiles/sorcha.shtml

You have all been exposed to the wonders of ThinkZoo.com ?

stagolee

"theres no I in team"
"no but theres a U in FU(K OFF NOW"

Johnny_the_fox

stagolee wrote:

"theres no I in team"

but there is a "m" + "e".. which is me. :eek:

Kone

alleepally wrote:

I agree with the GOING FORWARD sentiment. That has to be THE most annoying and pointless phrase.

I cannot agree more!

What other way are you going to deal with?

GOING BACKWARDS?????

Oh so we've mastered time travel now have we!

gandalf

Hehehe I am guilty of some of these.

I get slagged in work for using "Heads Up" and "Singing from the Same hymn sheet" alot.

I used to work in the Sales Team for a now departed Multinational and the training they gave us had these gems (which can be seen in the classic movie Glengarry Glenross)

ABC - Always be closing
AIDA - Attention Interest Decision Action
KISS - Keep it Simple Stupid (this one is actually good advice!)

I still carry the mental scars to this day !!!

LOL

ykt0di9url7bc3

"Come here till I want you!"

Supervisor over the phone
"Can you come into work today?" HAHAHAHAHAHA....no

kaiser piggy

jeez we're in such a matrix.. just spent the lest 10 mins reading this and laughing soooo much. and then JUST now, on Friends, E4 on in the background, Chandlers boss says "there's no I in Team"... "Bing!" and slaps his ass.... ok ok anyone else think thats just a coincidence?? hmm? ok just me then... carry on...

madmorphy

Head tech to a group of us lowly techs after a meeting with de MANAGEMENT

"It's not good enough to do the work anymore,we have to draw them pictures now as well" :rolleyes:

samo

not technically 'motivational' speak but was talking to someone recently who said that his manager told him with a complete stoneface that when discussing his pay review his pay increase of 0% was going to be backdated to January!! :

Am extremely guilty of using 'at the end of the day' used to work in a call centre and had an awkward customer on and realised I said it to them 5 times in the space of 1 minute or thereabouts.

Pet

What does going forward mean/in what context is it used?

Miss Mann

"That's sexual harassment"

xx