lookin for a book

DeViant

Oh no,
What are you doing to the Party this time ????

LoLth

nawthin... <looks shamedly/innocently at ground>

LoLth

that details how an expedition survives in the jungle, preferrably around the same time as the conquistadors. The internet only turns up a load of paramilitary survive-the-apocalypse, I've-got-a big-knife with matches and sandpaper in the handle, pseudo macho crap! Eat roots and **** off! Please! Yopu boyscout wannabe rejects! Really, oyu should read some of the **** they come out with.

'if a crocadile bites you, press your thumb into the point just behind the eye'??? what? 'Oh bugger, a croc is ripping my leg off while dragging me into a feeding frenzy of croc infested water. I know! I'll press my thumb into that spot behind it's eye!'

or

'If a badger bites you, the only way to get away is to break a stick. The badger, thinking it has broken the bone will release it's grip thus freeing you from the backward slanting serrated teeth'!!!
How about, 'If a badger bites you, scream in a lot of pain, if you think of it before it breaks the bone in your leg after shredding the flesh from your shins try grabbing the nearest log and braining the beast. Endangered or not, it bit your leg, it deserves it! - you can always hide the body later and if you have to fill out a report in the hospital just tell them you snapped a stick and , thinking that the bone was broken, the bastard badger ran off'

J.